About
E · piph · o · ra [i-PIF-er-uh] noun | the repetition of the ends of two or more successive sentences, verses, etc. (Or, if you prefer, a fungus, a moth, or the excessive production of tears.)
hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com
For four years now, sex toys have been my life. I have ogled, squeezed, and twiddled with so many that my mind has turned to mush a sex toy encyclopedia. I have a hard time cleaning up my apartment these days because my brain does not register the so-called “obscene” objects sitting out everywhere.
My reviewing of sex toys began in 2007. I’d flirted with a silver bullet, but it was the Turbo Glider that hooked me. I got my start writing reviews for an online sex toy shop. In 2008, I launched this blog — and have been rabidly collecting and reviewing sex toys ever since.
I make no apologies for unleashing my snarky, ridiculously truthful thoughts on sex toys. My opinions are trusted, and a crowning moment in my life was when I was quoted in Tristan Taormino’s book, The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation. I don’t believe that wishy-washy sex toy reviews benefit anyone. Like everyone, I have certain preferences and pet peeves (my hatred for pink and love of VixSkin are no secret), but you will never read a review of mine and question how I truly felt about the toy. You’ll also never see the terms “marital aid” or “battery-operated boyfriend” in my reviews, because euphemisms give me hives.
I’m a feminist, pansexual, in a relationship with a dude, and greatly prefer cats to children. My jack-off sessions are long and my cups of coffee are doused with creamer. My primary sources of visual entertainment are porn, bad reality TV, and documentaries about depraved serial killers.
My top sex toys of all time include the Eroscillator, Pure Wand, Seduction, Wahl, Maverick, Siri, Randy, Jollet, Alumina Motion, Romp, Beyond 3, Throe, Gold ribbed love wand, and Luna Beads. But I’m always on the hunt for new favorites. I have had the pleasure of experiencing a variety of toy materials: glass, aluminum, pure silicone, stainless steel, wood, ceramic. Still on my wishlist: granite!
You can learn more about me via my feature, Ask Piph.
CONTACT ME
Would you like me to review a product on this here blog? Want to know my opinion on porn, feminism, black coffee, etc? Have suggestions for how I can make this blog even more awesome? Shoot me an email; I would be delighted to hear from you: hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com. If you’d like to ask me something anonymously, do so here.
Or use my snazzy contact form!
