Dude, man, guys, shit, dawg. Everyone loves the We-Vibe Tango. I’m totally late to the party. Then again, I was also late to anal beads, smartphones, and liking the Hitachi, so it’s not as if you should trust my timing on anything (except having an orgasm right when the corn dog timer goes off — I’m great at that.)
Other contenders have come and gone, but the fact remains: the We-Vibe Tango — and its sibling the Touch — are the strongest, rumbliest rechargeable vibrators out there for their size. Unlike most little rechargeable clit vibes, the Tango is made only of plastic. No silicone to cushion or buffer the sensation. Vibrations shine through loud and clear.
The Tango is also extremely versatile — capable of replacing many of the shitty shit bullets that come with other toys. Need that dildo to vibrate in a meaningful way? Want to buzz your genitals while wearing a harness? Looking for an upgrade to that butt plug? Call in the Tango.
But it has caveats that keep me from screaming BUY IT! BUY IT NOW! Some are specific to my masturbation style, but most are cold, hard facts. Serious facts that point to We-Vibe toys dying left and right, as if from a sickness.
First, my own shit: the Tango confirms a sea change for me. I used to be all about the little rechargeable clitoral vibrators. Blinders on, subscribing to some amorphous idea that clitoral equaled small, I was on a mission to find the best one. The We-Vibe Touch came close, with its power, but I docked points for its battery life and controls.
Now I’ve come to realize that perhaps the solution to my turmoil has been in front of my face all along: get a bigger vibrator, one with more space for a motor — and a handle to prevent my fingers from vibrating off. Which the Tango definitely attempts to do.1
So, the size of the Tango is no longer a selling point for my particular clitoris. And, okay, maybe I’m spoiled, but four steady vibration settings just seems half-assed.
Now, the unfortunate facts. The Tango is unreliable. It doesn’t hold a charge well, and I have had two We-Vibe toys permanently die on me. In both cases, the toy worked fine at first but then stopped taking a charge. To their credit, the folks at We-Vibe have been very accommodating, going above and beyond to give me tips and replace my poor dead toys. (Maybe they’re petrified of my wrath?)
But this is not an isolated incident. I’ve heard so many accounts of others experiencing the same issue where their We-Vibe Tangos, Touches, and Salsas die. This is a trend that cannot be glossed over. Even with as many as I own, I’ve never had a LELO toy die on me. Just, statistically, comparatively, We-Vibe toys are extremely unpredictable. A one-year warranty isn’t much solace.
Also, the gripes I had about the Touch still apply: crinkly storage bag, maddening one-button interface, charging light fit for a dollhouse, finicky magnetic charging, can’t be locked for travel, notoriously only lasts 35-55 minutes on a charge. Like, I can easily exhaust the toy’s charge in a single masturbation session. Is it wrong to expect more?
When the Tango works, it’s fabulous. It’s everything people have said: strong, rumbly, worthy of getting me off in even the toughest of situations. The tip is excellent because I can use the flat part or turn it around for something even more pinpoint.2
I still like the Touch better — although a little less intense, it’s easier to hold and the silicone appeals to my clitoris — but the beauty of the Tango is that you can hack other toys with it. As a substitute for that shitty watch-battery bullet you hate, it will fit into:
- The bases of dildos from Tantus, Vixen, Happy Valley, or Pleasure Works
- Anal toys from Fuze, Rocks Off, and Aneros
- The Tantus Little Secret or Rocks Off silicone sleeves
- The pockets of harnesses, such as the Spareparts Joque, Theo, Deuce, and Tomboi, and vibrating ones from Sportsheets
- Some vibrating cock rings that normally take watch batteries
- Potentially, between your labia while you sit at your desk doing data entry, but you’d be better off getting the We-Vibe 4 for that
- The cavities of the Fleshlight Vibro
And it is the only rechargeable toy that can do all of those things.
Still, I find it hard to make a steadfast determination about the We-Vibe Tango. I love it when it works; I hate it when it dies mid-jack-off or when I see yet another person tweet about theirs biting the dust. For the sake of what little moral integrity I have left, I cannot heartily endorse the Tango. But I can’t deny that when I’m vulva-deep in porn, stuffing myself with a dildo and pressing the Tango firmly to my clit, I want to.