Jun 212013

Welcome, EdenFantasys refugees, ex-pats, survivors. Gather ’round.

Did you recently decide to leave EdenFantasys after their latest bombshell? Worried that you are now like a ship without an anchor, lost at sea without the forums and the people you used to interact with? Still wanting to review sex toys, but not wanting to support a corrupt, unethical sex shop by doing so?

NEVER FEAR! I am putting on my shit-stirring hat yet again just for you. Because let me tell you, life outside of EF is sweet. It tastes like honesty.

A short guide to life beyond EdenFantasys

A quick little bit of history: I started my sex toy reviewing career with EF back in 2007. I started this blog in 2008 and was banned in 2010 for “negativity.” Ever since then, I’ve been collecting stories of unethical business practices at EF.

Yet I have never, in all the waves of past EF drama, seen people leave en masse like this. I’ve never seen people post joke reviews (which were amazing, by the way!). Never seen people grasp to find each other on Twitter, and use the hashtag #EdenFallacys. It seems that people are ready to abandon EF — as long as they have a little guidance. And so this post was born.

Sign up and interact

  • First things first — and I am peeing my pants with excitement getting to announce this — we all have a brand spanking new forum to use. It’s run by SheVibe, my very favorite online sex shop. If you enjoyed the camaraderie on EF, sign up for SheVibe’s forum. There may be some bugs because this thing was just released, but they’re working really hard on it and they love suggestions.
  • Get on Twitter. Just do it. Sex bloggers don’t use Facebook nearly as much because Facebook hates sex. Twitter is where it’s at. Read Lilly’s sex blogger guide to Twitter. Here’s a more general beginner’s guide to Twitter, and a helpful post on Twitter etiquette. Protip: actually interact with people! Even if you think they might not reply or follow back.
  • Leave comments on sex blogs. In the world of sex blogging, the comment section is not dead. It’s actually a great way to show bloggers some love and alert them to your existence at the same time.

Follow some kickass people

Even if you don’t want to blog, you can hang out with the sex blogging community on social media and in the comments section of blogs. It’s pretty easy to find sex bloggers once you start following a few, but I’ll give you a few suggestions to get you going….

Shop elsewhere, get actual deals

Start up a blog?! (Feat. advice from people who know things)

Get back to reviewing

  • Read my beginner’s guide to sex toy reviewing and blogging, in case you missed it in the last section.
  • 15 rules for writing a sex toy review that doesn’t royally suck
  • Adjust your expectations. EF spoiled you, unfortunately. Most places do not give you cash to review. The toys are considered the only payment. That’s how it used to be on EF too. So lower your expectations a bit and seriously, only continue to do this if you love reviewing (not just getting free shit).
  • Review stuff you already own — yes, even stuff you already reviewed for EF. Your blog needs content before you can branch out and ask to review for other shops. So get to it, hoss. Write about the Pure Wand all over again. Only this time, say what you really want to say.
  • Write on-site reviews for SheVibe. For every approved review, you can get $3 in store credit. Limit 3 reviews/week.
  • Review hot porn from Tristan TaorminoSend your name, blog URL, and mailing address to tristan [at] puckerup [dot] com. Boom goes the dynamite.
  • Review for Tantus. Email bfarley [at] tantusinc [dot] com and tell her Epiphora sent you. Every affiliate will receive one review product after sign up, with the potential for more.
  • Write for Lovehoney. You can work your way up toward acquiring products for on-site review on Lovehoney UK (even if you live in the US). On Lovehoney US, products for off-site review are provided on a case-by-case basis. If you are interested in off-site reviewing, email krista [at] lovehoney [dot] com with info about you, your blog, and link to a sample review.
  • Become a Cal Exotic Sexpert. The toys are a gamble, but it’s something.
  • Join some affiliate programs. Granted, many of them do not have review programs, but the point is being able to affiliate link to the toys you discuss on your blog. And sometimes you’ll get lucky — for instance, Early to Bed sometimes sends test products to its affiliates.

Find your amigos

Tons of people from EF have hopped onto other social media sites and created (or were already running) blogs. Here is an in-progress list so you can easily find people. HUGE thanks to Britt in Toyland and Reenie for helping compile this. Y’all are lifesavers.

*Camoprincess* (Blog, @ACountryGirlCan)
1001Pleasures (Blog, @allmalesextoys)
Adriana Ravenlust (Blog, @adriana_r, FB)
Alan & Michele (Blog, @MicheleFromEF, FB)
AnotherRandomPervert (@A_RandomPervert)
Beck (Blog, post about EF, @beck42069, FB)
Bilikesscifi42 (Blog, @bi_and_bi)
Bogs (@clitskin)
Carrie Ann (Blog, @CarrieAnn_, FB)
Bonita-Soleil / No-nita (Blog)
ChastityDarling (Blog, @DarlingChastity, FB)
Dizzygirl (Blog, @dizzygirl812, FB)
Doowop (Blog, @clitstop)
DynamicKitty (Blog)
FieryRed (@FieryRedReviews)
Girly Juice (Blog, @Girly_Juice)
Gold Lion (@PrettyBoyToybox)
Ima Godiva (Blog, @ImaGodiva)
Incendiaire (Blog, @Incendiaireblog)
Juliettia (@Juliettia)
JustLikeHeaven (Blog, @JustLikeHeavn76, FB)
Kindred (@Kindred29)
KrissyNovacaine (Blog, @KrissyNovacaine, FB)
LicentiouslyYours (Blog, @alwayslaurel)
Lildrummrgurl7 (Blog, @BrittInToyland)
Llewey (Blog, post about EF, @sexweasel, FB)
LoriandHubby (Blog, @LoriandHubby, FB)
LoveKink (@Lovekink1)
LuckyLady (Blog, @ItsLuckyLady)
MissKat (@MissKat20)
Mistre$$ (@MistressReviews)
Mistress Kay (Kayla) (Blog, @mistress_kay)
MJThePrincess (@MJEden2) MrWill (Blog, @MrWills_HoT)
Mwar (Blog, @Neuronic_Mayhem)
NamelessChaos (Blog, @namedbychaos)
PassionCpl (Blog, @PassionCpl)
P’Gell (@PGellLeNoir)
Pierced Blaqk Skies (@Jess_fell) Pixel (Blog, @PixelatedToys)
PropertyofPotter (Blog, @pottersproperty)
Rayne Millaray (Blog, @RayneMillaray)
Red Vinyl Kitty (Blog, @The_Sub_Mission)
Sammi (Blog, @sammi2009)
Secretly Sensuous (Blog, post about EF, @SSensuous)
Shadowedseductress (Blog, @ShadowedS, FB)
SisterLuck (@whereweoverlap)
SMichelle (@SMichelle22)
SneakersandPearls (Blog, @KintheHay)
SpoiledBrandtWife (@SugarDoll1012)
Sunflower (Blog)
SunkissedJess (Blog, @SunkissedJess)
Surreptitious (Blog, @AnahitaReads)
sXeVegan90 (Blog, @x_the_artist_x)
Tami (Beck’s Mom)  (Blog, @KinkyBikerMom)
ThatToyChick (Blog, @thattoychick)
The Sin Doll (Blog, @TheSinDoll)
TJtheMadHatter (Blog, @TJtheMadHatter)
Travelnurse (Blog, @budda1114)
True Pleasures (Blog, @TruePleasures)
UrNaughtyaAngel (@urNaughtyAngel)
Vanille (Blog)
Velocifero (@ologies)
VieuxCarre (@TheVieuxCarre)
Virgingasms (@ToyTigress)
Woman China (Blog,  @Woman_China)
zj22 (@weaver_jennifer)
Zombirella (@Zombirella24)

Are you an EF refugee? Did you start a blog or Twitter account? Comment with your info (including EF username) and I will add it to this list! Any other resources I missed? Other advice from veteran bloggers? Are you feeling more optimistic now, about leaving EF behind?

  • Property Of Potter

    Thank you SO MUCH for this amazing post and mentioning my blog! You are awesome and this is greatly appreciated!

  • Navigator

    Your organizational skills fucking AMAZE me. Bravo!

  • http://secretlysensuousstuff.blogspot.com/ Secretly Sensuous

    Thanks so much for getting this up!!!

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    My stomach hurts because I held off on dinner just so I could finish this. I’m a freak. But it does have its benefits…

  • http://www.dangerouslilly.com/ Dangerous Lilly

    They can join ToySwap if they have toys to swap, and want to have another small places for forums about sex toys. After they’ve been blogging for 3 months, they can join the Sex Blogger Co-Op, private forums for private bitching. Maybe we can get those places going to where they’re actually worth the money they cost to run.

  • Lovekink

    Thank you for putting this together! You rock! I’m am an EF refugee and love what you have done!

  • thattoychick

    I bow to your interwebz skills, darlin. This is a wonderful, solid post that will help new refugees get their footing. You’re a wonderful human being and I’m glad to call ya a friend!

    I am furiously working behind the scenes as well – trying to assemble a buyer’s guide to manufacturers over on SexToySourcing.com. When you get food in you and have an hour or so later this weekend, we ought to match up our twitter maker lists, find out who went outta business and such.

  • http://www.naughtyreenie.com/ Reenie

    I’m totally speechless. No really…I’m just going to bow to your awesomeness.

  • sunkissedJess

    I can’t stress enough how much I love this post! Thank you, Epiphora!

  • TJtheMadHatter

    Holy Mother of Cheez-Its! This is fantastic information! Thank you so much for putting my blog in there! I love seeing so many blogs and familiar names. Thank you Epiphora and those that helped you compile the list. This information in invaluable. The Twitter guide alone, was a big help. That place had my head turned around for awhile.

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    Twitter’s weird at first, and then two days later you wonder how you lived without it.

  • http://www.silverdropstoybox.com/ Silverdrops

    I did a lot of reviews for them, but not recently. I’m @silverdropUK and http://www.silverdropstoybox.com Haven’t joined in the threads at EF over the shit – just quietly stopped dealing with them and taken all their banners of our site. Won’t be dealing with them (as reviewer or customer) ever again. Thanks for the above info BTW.

  • TJtheMadHatter

    Funny you should say that. I’m getting the hang of it/falling in love with it and it IS day two. lol It’s awesome that you included the info. I hope you gorged yourself after putting this together.

  • Pixel

    Holy crap, for a ‘short guide’ this is ridiculously comprehensive. Thank you! I’m off to add some folks on Twitter now.

  • dizzygirl

    Hey look, there I am. Thanks for including my humble little self in the list up there. And this post in full of good information. I wasn’t at EF long before I gave up and started my blog so, I didn’t get to know many people there. But I’d still like to know you so stop on by my place. Everyone is welcome there.

    I joined EF (and left) right before the shit really hit the fan. So I don’t know about the good times that were had there. By the time I stumbled onto EF, you really couldn’t get anything to review anymore. I did one sponsored review for them on my blog and that was it.

    When I read about EF’s shady business practices here on Epiphora’s blog, I decided I didn’t want to work with them and branched out on my own.
    It has NOT been easy. I’ve had a few successes but many more rejections. You’ll get frustrated. I mean hell, I got turned down to be a Cal Exotic “Sexpert”. Yeah, I know….WTF? But that’s how it goes.

    And in the beginning you’ll find that it doesn’t matter how good you are. What matters is your site’s traffic and social media (mainly twitter) exposure. That’s the part that’s maddening. Of course, writing good reviews and not sounding like a total idiot are going to be important but you will find companies lavishing attention on blogs that are lean on quality while heavy on quantity. Quantity meaning: followers, traffic, etc. Because, let’s face it, they don’t want to give free stuff away unless it’s going to mean significant exposure for them. So, just try to keep that in mind while you’re working to grow your readership.

    I wish I could remember who said it but a gal on twitter put it perfectly. She said: Starting a new blog is like being the new kid in school. It doesn’t matter how cool you are, you’re going to be eating lunch alone.

    Thanks for the guidance, Epiphora.

  • http://beckandherkinks.com/ Beck

    Where can I find the sex blogger Co-Op? I have heard about this, but I know I’m not there.

  • Shadowed Seductress

    You are amazing!

  • http://www.allmalesextoys.com/ AllMaleSexToys

    Epiphora, your blog (along with a few others) was a source of enlightenment for me during earlier EF fiascos & I’m happy to see so many are finding their way here after this latest meltdown. Thanks for shedding a bright light on the realities of the “fantasys.” My EF ID was 1001Pleasures and my blog is allmalesextoys.com Twitter @allmalesextoys if you’d like to add me to the list.

  • http://www.allmalesextoys.com/ AllMaleSexToys

    Apologies for the “down vote” on this comment. It wasn’t intentional. I am reading these on a phone and clicked it while scrolling, and now it won’t let me change it. :(

  • http://her-babygirl.blogspot.com/ Vanille

    Mi amigos! :D I’m Vanille, and you can find me on Twitter at @FangsKitten it is locked solely because I sometimes post personal pictures but I’ll add any of mah EFal friends. I blog at http://her-babygirl.blogspot.com

    This list also helps me out a bit since I’m always willing to learn new things~

  • Godiva1111

    Wow, Excellent post Epiphora. I did sign up at EF several years ago but never reviewed anything for them. Afetr some stuff I had heard back then. I was wondering what the heck was happening over there at EF with the mass exodus.

  • http://elspethdemina.wordpress.com/ Lorax Of Sex

    Trying REALLY hard not to make a size-queen joke out of this…

  • http://rollinthehay.blogspot.com/ rollinginthehay

    Holy freeholies! You. You are awesome. This list is amazing and I can’t thank you enough for putting it together.

    Small point: I asked Lovehoney UK a few months ago about their reviewing program and they told me they don’t have the ability to send internationally. Did this change?

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    I’m gonna add that right now! Thanks Caitlin!

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    Yeah, I may have gone a bit overboard? Or should’ve taken “short” out of the title? I guess when I use bulletpoints I feel like it’s not the be-all-end-all.

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    Not sure. Shoot Krista an email. It’s kind of a weird situation, having both the UK and the US sites and semi-separate reviewing rules.

  • http://rollinthehay.blogspot.com/ rollinginthehay

    Will do. Is she on the UK side (so I know where to look for her email)?

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    No, US side. It’s krista [at] lovehoney [dot] com, but if she can’t help you, she can direct you to someone who can.

  • http://rollinthehay.blogspot.com/ rollinginthehay

    Your fount of information is staggering. Thank you.
    Edit: Oh, *facepalm* you said it in the post. More caffeine for me!

  • Lucky_Lady

    luckylady, twitter: ItsLuckyLady blog:http://luckyladytoychest.blogspot.com/

  • Juliettia

    Add me add me :D *flails around* I’m @Juliettia ^_^

  • BiLikesSciFi

    This is a fantastic guide – I wish I’d had it when I started blogging myself.

    I’m an EF refugee, although I kept my blog separate from EF as I had a “feeling.” I stopped using EF about 8 months ago due to frustrations with their system and constant out of stocks. I’m so glad I left! I need to transfer my reviews now…

    You can find me on twitter at @bi_and_bi or my blog bilikesscifi.blogspot.com I used EF as bilikesscifi42 :)

  • adriana

    If you want to link to my FB page: http://facebook.com/ofsexandlove Also maybe we should add Tumblrs?

    Great post, though!

  • Tuesday

    Thank you for posting this both so that lazy asses like me who don’t keep up with EF anymore can still know the latest ridiculousness and also so that if I ever do decide to review again I’ll have some guidance.

  • Incendiaire

    I got a mention. I feel special now. ^_^

  • Pink Elephant

    AWESOME! It’s great having all this in one post. Thanks!

  • http://clitstop.blogspot.com/ Liz

    I would love to be added to the list of ex EFers. My name on there was Doowop. Twitter: shyuppup. Blog: http://clitstop.blogspot.com. Thanks so much for putting this together!

  • http://karasutrareviews.com/ Kara_Sutra

    You are a genius!!! I have no other words than that. Simply a GENIUS.

  • http://www.namelesschaos.com/ namelesschaos

    Guess you can add me to the list, considering Eden just locked my account.

    Blog: http://namelesschaos.com/

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/namedbychaos

    For the record I made two post since this started ,one in the taken down announcement thread. The other was this: http://www.heyepiphora.com/2010/05/edenfantasys-a-pattern-of-deception/#comment-939020792 neither was flagged or taken down, but I guess honestly telling the owner your opinion is a far great offense then telling someone to literally “Go Die”

  • Shana Messina

    You can add me as well. I was AnotherRandomPervert on there. I suppose I should dust off my old twitter account and the like.

    https://www.facebook.com/shana.messina?ref=tn_tnmn At least I can offer my facebook and email: soonjiiowner@yahoo.com

  • Shana Messina

    Yeah, I didn’t curse him out or type condescendingly to him, just stated my opinions, called him out on deleting comments that weren’t spam, and agreed with another user.

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    But am I a LITERAL genius?

  • Sugar Doll

    I’m an ex EFer, now have a blog. Name on EF was SpoiledBrandtWife, blog link http://keepcalmloveorgasms.blogspot.com and twitter is @SugarDoll1012

  • http://karasutrareviews.com/ Kara_Sutra

    There can only be ONE literal genius… *blank stare* *snicker*

  • Cat

    sisterluck – @whereweoverlap on twitter :)

  • http://ashrussell.com/ ash

    you are, as always, the best

  • Allison Wilder

    I’m an EdenFallacys refugee and I *love* your blog.

  • Appletini

    Dear refugees,

    Up until this point I’ve been very supportive of the contributors who chose to leave Eden Fantasys. I have also decided not to shop there ever again. However I am appalled by the nationalistic attacks both on @ShitFredPSays and Eden Fantasys website. Really guys? Are we back in 1950′s and all the Russians are enemies? Does Fred represent the whole country? You are claiming to fight for you human rights and yet your methods are low and disgusting.

    There is nothing wrong with good old trolling, but is it really necessary to attack Fred’s country of birth? There is no doubt that he is a dishonest man with shady business practices, but by attacking his nationality you are offending a lot of Russian people who have nothing to do with the whole situation. I lost my respect for a bunch of people in the last few days. Have a look in the mirror guys, because some of you (I am sincerely hoping that not all) are a bunch of ignorant nationalists. And this is sad, because I’ve always thought that people who believe in sexual equality believe in equality in general. Apparently this is not the case.

  • ologies

    I just learned of all of this and needless to say I am pretty horrified.

    I will be pulling my EF account when I get home today, maybe scrambling my reviews on their site on my way out. I wasn’t super-popular or anything, but I did have a lot of high-ranked reviews and a few kudos here and there

    If anyone cares, my EF name was Velocifero, and my Twitter account is @ologies. I’m not sure where I’ll be going next, or if this will be the push to finally start up my own blog for reviews. I guess we’ll see. :(

  • P’Gell

    Great info, ‘Phora. Thank you. I can be reached

    P’Gell LeNoir@PGellLeNoir

    You posted an amazing amount of pertinent and helpful data. Thank you again.



  • P’Gell

    My info is for my Twitter account.

  • Juliettia

    Can you fix my link? Apparently I was stupid and forgot to include the i, it’s Juliettia now.

  • Kenzie Allaway

    wow u rock! i am bookmarking this to read in depth once i figure out where and how to move my blog away from blogger

  • Princess Kali

    I’ve never done any sex-toy reviews and never signed up to interact with EF & that’s entirely because the first things I read about the site were from you and AAG and a few others. I think it’s horrid how they’ve treated their reviewers and I also think it’s utterly fantastic that you’ve put this resource together and have been so proactive in helping reviewers find other options rather than just saying “don’t work with them”. Thanks for all that you do!

  • Pretty Boy Toy Box

    This is great! One of the most painful parts of Eden for me was not knowing where all the other refugees were going to end up and not wanting to miss out on my fave reviewers’ writing. If anyone remembers me (I wasn’t a huge poster but I know some people will.), I was Gold Lion on there and my twitter is prettyboytoybox. I have a Blogger under the same name but it looks like recent events will be changing that.

  • http://noveltiestoymeetsgirl.com/ dizzygirl

    Just an update, I got hit with the blogger crap and had to relocated my blog to a new domain. You can now find me at noveltiestoymeetsgirl.com

  • priyadarshi

    My wife wants sex but as I am impotent I can’t sex and satisfy my wife so is there any way or is it a good idea to give her sex toys as a tool so she can enjoy with that and I can enjoy my business and fuck other b’ful girls.


  • Miss K & KinkMage

    Ironically, I got into sex toy reviewing because of EF – but I never actually wrote a review for them. Shortly after I signed up with them, I found your site and read about all the crap they’d pulled and promptly retreated. That led me to a lot of other ACTUALLY awesome sites, and my whole experience has been fabulous. I am so thankful to you for making the truth known and saving me, and many others, I’m sure, from a lot of heartache. Or rage.

  • http://www.kinkykupid.com/ Anise Smith

    We are looking to start a review program for our sex toy website. I don’t want to put a link here because I don’t want to shamelessly leave links in comments. But really, would love to start a dialogue about how perhaps we could work together. Given your experience on what works and what does not and this being a start up, I think it might be a great way to mold a program while guiding us from potential pitfalls…If you would be interested, please email be back….info at kinkykupid dot com.

  • Sugar Doll
  • Raven Quince

    I stopped blogging a couple of years ago, and stopped any EF writing then too. Every couple of months, I pop in here and check in on the sex toy world. I’ve been an admirer of your blog since 2008. My go to, rock solid, funny, honest, ethical, toy blogger. Recently, I’ve been pondering reincarnating my blog and did my periodic perusal tonight.

    Reading your posts about what’s happened at EF recently, and this abso-fucking-lutely amazing primer, may have just lit a fire under my ass to get back to this world. Regardless of what I do, thank you for being a stand up person and doing so much to help so many people. You get all the good karma :)

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    You are so sweet!

  • x x

    oh hai. i missed you all. used to be bogs. thank you – seeing this post inspired me to reconnect with everyone i missed. now i’m @clitskin. <3

  • nick1277

    1BYa – The Last few years i have been so very down on cash and debts were eating me from everywhere!! that was UNTIL I found out how to generate money on the INTERNET! I visited surveymoneymaker point net, and started filling in surveys for money, and YES i have been much more able to pay my bills!! I am happy, that i did this!! With all the financial stress these years, I really hope all of you will give it a chance. YqfW

  • Missy

    Thank you for sharing this! I was directed to your blog after asking about where all the mods went over at EF. After reading about the shady dealings of EF and the horrible conduct of the bosses, I, too have decided to leave. I am very grateful for not only the list of friends I’ve lost over the past two years, but also the how to’s on how to continue onwards, without EF. I look forward to using your blog, and others, to help me kick start this new reviewing journey. Thank you!