Outside the theater, most people are hipsters. Most people are smoking. But the people that stand out are the ones holding a purple inflated Alien Love Doll. They are there to promote their film, which involves a threesome in a strip club (two humans, one Alien Love Doll). Meanwhile, some mangy dude is asking if he [...]

Um… Er… How is this even… Why…? So you can express your racial preference… with a friend? No more arguing over whether you’ll use the creepy white double dong or the creepy black double dong? Or for solo use? Like, oh, I feel like fucking myself with a specifically white cock-side tonight! Also, there’s a [...]

Click to embiggen. Yes, my friends! The time has come! No longer will you have to slave away on the internets trying to figure out WTF that-one-toy-in-Epiphora’s-header is. No longer will you have to sheepishly email/tweet me and awkwardly try to describe the location of the toy you need identified. I took the picture that [...]

I went through a phase where I had to try every glass dildo that crossed my path. I tried bumpy ones, swirled ones, tiny ones, pointy ones, curved ones, bulbed ones, and even one with terrifying spikes on it. The last frontier was “juicer”-style dildos, so I tried two of those. Done with that conquest, I [...]

Look, I had to top last year’s April Fool’s joke. And although perhaps you were less shocked this time, I think I succeeded: Delta O. Venus called it “a festival for the senses.” Vid Tuesday said, “I love that fucking tight Myspace design you’ve got kickin’. And that dolphin toy looks tight.” Lovehoney exclaimed, “It’s [...]

[This review is an April Fool's joke; please, never buy this abomination of a toy!] WARNING! Adult content ahead!!!!!! if u are offended by sex products do not scroll down! This is a review of a Marital Aid. do u understand? ok (LOL it took me 4ever to figure out how to add pictures!) n-e-wayz… [...]