Jan 142011
 

I already told you about my awesome plastic storage drawers, but y’all are creepers, so I figured you’d want to snoop inside the actual drawers.

When I attempted to organize my toys into these drawers, I wasn’t sure how to go about it. I didn’t want to organize things by type, since I have about 5,000 dildos, so I figured I’d organize them by My Feelings. The problem? With a lot of toys, My Feelings are amorphous and indifferent. I know which toys I absolutely adore, and I know which ones I loathe, but that leaves a large chunk of my collection in the middle. As such, there are several drawers of these “middle ground” toys.

First up: the rolling storage cart with shallow drawers.

DRAWER OF OMFG.

Yeah, this is some of my favorite stuff. Wahl with Spot Tip attachment, bag of Eroscillator attachments, Fairy Mini Mini, Njoy Pure Wand, Jollies Jollet, Eroscillator. Hiding in the back are the Ophoria Beyond 3 and my favorite glass dildo, the Phallix Gold-Ribbed Love Wand (WHICH PRACTICALLY NO STORE CARRIES, AND I DON’T KNOW WHY). Recently added to this drawer: the LELO Siri and Vibratex Mystic Wand.

DRAWER OF SPARSE YET AWESOME THINGS.

Why have I not filled this drawer? I guess I am waiting for particularly awesome things. Tantus Alumina Motion, Papaya Toys Candy Stick, NobEssence Seduction, Tantus Echo.

DRAWER OF DECENT DILDOS.

I pull one of these out every once in a while, when I’m wanting something different. The cat then proceeds to lick the accompanying plastic bag. Fun Factory Tiger, Vixen Astrovibe, Vixen Raquel, Tantus Sherbet, Luxotiq Isis, Ophoria Pleasure No. 6.

DRAWER OF BUTT TOYS AND VAG BALLS.

What a mess! But these toys are smaller, so they swim around more. All of my butt toys and vag balls are here. Of course, Romp is the prettiest.

DRAWER OF CONFLICTION.

With the exception of the Turbo Glider, these are things I’m iffy on, don’t use much, and/or need to try again. Tantus Acute, Duncan Charles Signature, Tantus G-Force, Jimmyjane Little Chroma, Jollies Jollie, NobEssence Delve, Vixen Soft Serve.

DRAWER OF BULLETS, CORDS, AND LUBE.

This is the bottom drawer of my rolling cart, which holds bullets like the Xtreme Pack G-spot Bullet, Impulse Kit Bunny Arouser, and LELO Mia. Then there’s a LELO box re-purposed as a lube-and-things container.

That concludes my cart. Here’s what’s in my deeper, stacking drawers:

DRAWER OF STUFF TO TEST.

Well, except Maverick — that’s there because it’s fuckin’ amazing but doesn’t fit in my other top drawer. Otherwise, the NobEssence Intrigue, Fun Factory Spring, and Vamp Talula were all new toys that I needed to test when I took this photo (you caught me — these pictures are were not exactly taken yesterday. Hey, adding tons of links is hard!).

DRAWER OF SWEET TOYS.

This drawer serves a similar function as the second one on my rolling cart — great toys that should probably get more action. Jollies Jack, Ophoria Bliss No. 8 (try at your own risk — this is an intense mofo), Vixen Johnny, Tantus O2 Rascal.

DRAWER OF RANDY… AND OTHER STUFF.

I don’t even know what’s going on with this drawer. It needs help. And is not aesthetically appealing. RandyMr. Man, NobEssence Linger, Whipspider Rubberworks Mantoy, LELO Ella, Jimmyjane Form 2, Jimmyjane Form 3Tantus Goddess, Bswish Bcurious, and LELO Ina.

DRAWER OF “TRY AGAIN.”

This is, roughly, a collection of toys that deserve a second (or third…) chance. Tantus Alumina Revolve, Whipspider Rubberworks Tentacle, LELO Gigi, Fun Factory Delight, Fun Factory Benjamin Bond, Tantus Twist, Eros & Isis Chunkee Munkey, Fun Factory G-Twist.

DRAWER OF GLASS.

This drawer houses all my good glass toys, in their respective satin drawstring bags. They’re in the bottom drawer for logistical reasons: in case I happen to accidentally drop a glass toy while I get it out, it won’t fall very far. This drawer is so boring that I’m not even gonna include a picture. But here’s a list of the toys: Allegro/Twisted Rose, DreamToys Lemon Drops, Don Wands Rainbow Mega Nubby, Luxotiq Athena, Phallix Cobalt Twister, Phallix Inside Out Spiral Rib Double Dong, Topco Snake of Paradise, RubyGlass21 Pleasure Wand, DreamToys Raspberry Chunk.

But, because my collection is insane, not everything can fit into the plastic drawers. What happens to toys that I deem unworthy of the plastic drawers? They go either in my Tunti toybox (this is an old picture, and a lot of these toys have relocated now) —

or here, in a cabinet that I rarely open.

Yes, it’s a sad day when a toy is demoted to the bags-inside-the-cabinet, or even worse, the cardboard-box-inside-the-cabinet. Well, I don’t hate the Hitachi, but I never use it, and it’s massive. (Not anymore!) Some of the toys in these bags are older, shittier ones that I acquired when I first started reviewing. Others are dead (why do I keep them? Fuck if I know). Some I was certain I would never use again once I reviewed them, so I demoted them quickly (like the Ticklers, this abomination, and the fail-tastic vibrating brief).

Of course, this whole system is in a constant state of evolution. My plastic drawers are already becoming more unruly. My cabinet is filling quickly. And, well, I’d be lying if I said there weren’t toys scattered around the apartment in the weirdest of places: the Fleshlights hiding behind the cabinet, lube secured behind some tins on a bookshelf, the Eleven in its crazy case wherever I can find a place for it.

But that is the gist of my storage system, in photos. Have I satiated your creeper hunger?

  • Jane Blow

    *slinks back into the shadows* Awesome collection! I almost didn’t need the descriptions lol

    I oddly wonder what is in exile and why you don’t just junk them. I know apartments are notorious for lacking in space to put stuff (I know I have my boxes, drawers etc but have stuff all over the apt). Looks like you could house the FLs in that spot and the Eleven instead and make it the “mostly dude cabinet”.

  • Little Miss Naughtygirl

    Have you ever thought of recycling or giving away the toys you don’t use? {only the ones that wouldn’t be gross to pass along}

    You have an amazing collection, and I’ll admit I was totally weird and stalker-ish when I read about your storage, I totally wanted to see inside.

  • http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

    @Little Miss Naughtygirl: Definitely — I give toys away when I don’t use them, to friends and other bloggers. I am also interested in recycling, which is why I keep some of the crappy ones still.

  • Juliettia

    Completely awesomesauce collection! I love your practical storage idea.

  • http://elodieonlove.com/ Elodie

    I am in awe of your collection. Though I’m starting to see how easily it can get huge. My own stuff doesn’t all fit in my one large Rubbermaid container any more. It’s sort of all over the house now :P.

  • Delta O.

    Creep creep…Hehe…Very cool! I have a closet filled with mostly toys, not so much in the way of actual closet stuff, like clothes and scarves. I *need* little drawer sets like these to optimize the room in there, the way it is set up now is a big space-waste.

    Now I want to get a spot tip for my WAHL…that’s neat I didn’t know those blue tip-attachments worked w/ the WAHL as well as the HMW. Hmmmm. I want to try that!

  • LucyLemonade

    I love the Fairy Mini as well, it’s one of my go-to favorites when I’m testing something with weak vibration.

    I need to make a set up similar, mine are all set up in a duffle bag, divided in different pockets. I’d like to get one of those suitcase style like the foryournymphomation rolling cases for when I do presentations on toy selection.

    I just got a ton of old crappy testers that I’m sending to be recycled.

  • http://lusciouslily.blogspot.com Luscious Lily

    I noticed that I own half of the toys in your Drawer of OMFG. I take this as a sign from the Sex Toy Gods that I need to acquire the others, posthaste. When my bank account starts to cry tears of blood and pocket change, I’ll blame you. =P

    Due to dorm space constraints (and nosy family) I’ve got a much less awesome system. Clear drawers full of dildos = awkward questions. I’m totally setting up a system like this when I’ve got a place of my own.

  • Tuesday

    I don’t see Outlaw among your toys. He’s probably too big to fit in your drawers. What do you do with him? I’m asking because I now own Outlaw and the instructions say to store him upright. Where am I going to find a place to store him that way?

  • http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

    @Tuesday: These pictures were taken before I received the Outlaw, I think. I store it in the same drawer as Maverick. Yeah… I don’t know how I would store it upright, so I don’t worry about it.

  • http://theworldaccordingtowoman.wordpress.com Woman

    L’grande sigho… one of these days… one of these days I shall have a whole room dedicated to my toys. And then? Then!!! I shall take over the world one orgasm at a time!!! *cough cough*. Sorry. I got side tracked.

    I like your organisation of your toys! And it really does make a lot of sense too.

  • http://www.blacksilk.boudoir@googlemail.com Blacksilk

    There is something weirdly awesome and almost exciting about seeing how you organise your toys. It’s a similar reaction to finding out you had a sex toy spreadsheet and were planning to expand it. :)

    It’s odd, because I am incredibly messy and yet I apparently get all nerdily animated over organising stuff like this and would gladly explain to people how I (badly) organise my (admittedly much more modest) collection of stuffs. It all has a place, dammit, even if it won’t stay there!

    I also get weirdly obsessive over free inventories in RPGs, so maybe inside every messy person there’s a secret obsessive organiser waiting to get out? Either way, this post was awesome.

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  • Sexy Sadie

    Hope it’s OK to comment on an old post. I found you by Googling sex toy storage solutions. I’m SO buying these drawers. Could you tell me if they are deep enough to hold a folded Liberator throe? I need to protect mine from the cat.

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    Ha! I love this comment! I grabbed one of my Throes to test, and yeah, it doesn’t fit. The drawers are pretty shallow. What’d you need is something like this, which has two deeper drawers on the bottom.

    P.S. You’re a genius. It’s far too late to hide my Throes from my cats.

  • Sexy Sadie

    Awwwww … I’m so pleased you responded to me! Thank you for checking on the throe for me. Our cat thinks anything soft and blanket-like was brought in the house especially for her.

  • Glumbumble

    There’s something strangely pleasing about seeing sex toys all nice and neat and organized.

    I have a question about the Wahl. I’m wondering if you need the ‘magic connection’ in order for the spot tip to stay on the Wahl? I’ve never seen it up close, but I’m interested in purchasing it since it’s apparently an amazing vibrator for under $30. The only other vibrators I’ve had have been the $5 dollar ones from Walmart. Which I was surprised that it was able to make me cum, though it couldn’t go a second time because the battery died and it’s a one time use toy.

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    Nope, no Magic Connection needed. The Spot Tip slides on the Wahl’s nub perfectly.

  • Kat

    I see some of your toys are in a ‘plastic bag’ what kind of bags are these? I really like to keep my toys in the same place, but separated still if that makes sense so I would love to know where/what those are!

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    Generic sandwich bags, my friend!

  • Slutty Girl Problems

    Hi, Epiphora! I noticed you put a lot of your silicone toys in wrapping plastic, or baggies. Is this to prevent the “melting” effect? Even if they are pure silicone? I’m still trying to figure out if I should wrap my silicone toys up, or let them float free in my drawer. Thank you :)

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    Ahh, the bags don’t serve much of a purpose. Lately I don’t use them at all. Because yes, pure silicone toys do not melt when they touch.

  • Slutty Girl Problems

    Thanks for the info! Great to know! :D

  • Robin McClanahan

    I dream of one day having a collection large and varied enough to require actual storage. Right now I have a Mystic Wand in my nightstand and a Tantus Echo misplaced SOMEWHERE IN MY HOUSE during a move. Woe is me! Lost dildos are not fun.
    Also, I would really love to see a review of the Jollies Jack someday. It’s next up on my dildo wish list, and I’d love your opinion. I’m heartbroken that I can’t get a Whipspider Tentacle. Though their site’s shop is still “open”. Do you think it’s worth the risk of ordering?

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    I love the Jollies Jack! The textured head is awesome, but then — I’m a texture freak.

    Someone ordered something directly from Whipspider and commented on my post about them going under. I think they have yet to hear a peep back or receive anything.

  • Robin McClanahan

    Eek! I’ll keep an eye on that thread and see what happens before I risk it. Thanks for letting me know!
    I don’t have tremendous experience with dildos yet, but since the Echo was my first, and I love it, I think there’s a good chance that I might end up being a texture freak too. Plus, Jack is available in such a kick ass array of colors… Jollies is a very tempting company overall, haha!

  • http://CarlyMcMenoman.com Carly McMenoman

    I love this idea. My collection has been growing rather quickly. I transitioned from a nightstand drawer or two to a small dresser. I believe it’s considered children’s furniture based on the size of the drawers. However, it’s an odd size because the drawers are big enough to need drawer dividers but small enough that it’s hard to find bins that fit in them. However, it does provide the opportunity to more or less display toys (I don’t have to worry about discretion at all) and since it’s a low and long dresser you have a work surface.

    But thanks for the plastic drawer tip and the other articles. I’m much closer to solving my storage dilemma. Thanks and I always love another collector.