07.30.10

Pornfail: Popsicle “fun”

[Pornfail is a new feature about, well, porn failures. Do you like?]

This one comes to us from the thoughtfully-titled Pound the Round 2. If you have sensitive teeth, click away now.

STEPS FOR GETTING A GIRL’S MOUTH AND POPSICLE ON YOUR PENIS

1. Randomly whip out your popsicle, calling it an “ice cream” — that was on purpose — and immediately take things too far by poking her genitals with it. And making an ass/popsicle sandwich. Watch it melt all over the chick in red streaks. Oh yeah, hot.

Sandwich.

2. While the girl fondles your enormous cock, slowly introduce another popsicle. The clueless female will hardly notice. You so stealthy.

Teehee.

3. Bask in the sensation as the girl sucks both your cock and the popsicle. (Sidenote: in Australia, popsicles are called iceblocks. Therefore, ICECOCK!)

Aw hell yeah.

AAAAND LIFE COMPLETE.

Liked this? Try these on for size:

  1. Pornfail: Pussy painting
  2. Sometimes I talk about the future of sex toys whimsically, hopefully, as though all t
    A revolutionary cock
  3. Pussy a Go Go is a fake documentary about a traveling burlesque carnival show —
    Review: Pussy a Go Go
  4. Um, No: Peter Piper and Erotic Cigar
  5. Warming my boyfriend up to anal play has been a challenge thus far — to say the
    An absence of grimacing

Share on Tumblr      

«
»

Filed under Pornfail | 20 Comments

Tagged with ,  

  • C

    Ha! Wise words of wisdom ;) …Fun feature idea. I like it!

  • VanillaKinks

    I hope that shit doesn’t stain her white pants/shorts.

    I’d be pissed if it did!

  • http://quizzicalpussy.com quizzical pussy

    Yeast infections for everyone! So sexy.

  • http://elodieonlove.com/ Elodie

    @quizzical pussy: That’s what I was thinking. Also, a cock big enough to cause serious pain and probable injury to my cervix and vagina: not the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.

  • Cooper Beckett

    Sometimes I really just don’t get porn. Hmm. why would you want anything so dames cold touching your cock?

  • http://mendthiscrack.wordpress.com/ Ashley

    Gahhh, any time I see some kind of sweet confectionery near genitals makes my own vagina cry.

  • http://www.funcouples.ca Alan

    Three things…

    One – She has a very hot looking ass! (minus the melting red popsicle liquid)
    Two – YEAST infection on the way
    Three – Shrinkage (making me think of the Seinfeld episode – HAHAHAHA)

    Oh hell.. Four – What’s with some of the names they use for porn movies???? WTF

  • http://femeninadeliciosa.com/ F. D.

    I’m with Vanilla Kinks. Though, my first thought was “ooh pretty popsicle.. on her fuckin’ asshole?”. Then I’m like… “her white shorts are getting all stained!”. ;)

  • http://fleshone.com Bob

    LOL porn…

    Let’s hope that there aren’t any angry bees or wasps around.

  • http://britisshameless.com Britni TheVadgeWig

    …I think I have a yeast infection from just looking at that.

  • Polly Vincere

    the verdict here is that “Popsicle play” would “probably give me ‘ewww-dick’” which is apparently a “frat bro term to describe pornography that is so vulgar or disgusting that will prevent you from getting a boner or if you do get a boner it makes you feel disgusting & nasty – you know, ‘ewww’”
    I just made him quote it several times to get the exact wording.
    An evening just isn’t complete without “ewww-dick” and “boner” around here. lol
    ;)

  • http://100waystobeperverse.wordpress.com Janie

    I am never going to be able to look at one of those ice lollies the same again.

    xoxox

  • http://twitter.com/theemoberry Vincent Cooksey

    The only thing popsicles like that are good for (in sex, I mean) is putting in some pretty sub Twink’s ass. Not on women. Yeast infection city. Ew. I’m cringing at the thought… that’s just.. not.. right

  • Sex Toy Sarah

    I definitely wouldn’t want a melting popsicle anywhere near my vagina.

    Sucking on one while giving head, that’s another matter ;)

  • http://pollyvincere.tumblr.com Polly Vincere

    Now I think of this every time I hear “California Girls”
    “So hot we’ll melt your Popsicle”
    hahahahaha!!!!

  • http://duskinchains.wordpress.com Dusk

    This looks hilarious! Love the Pornfail, hope to see more :)

  • http://www.namelesschaos.com namelesschaos

    Maybe this is just because I got my alien fleshlight in the mail today and I got “alien on the brain but does that last pic look like she is sucking a human cock and some weird multi-colored alien creatures dick to anyone else?…Just me I thought so.

  • Selective Sensualist

    Um, yeah . . . all I could think about while looking at that was “YEAST INFECTION,” too. Hope they paid her really well.

  • Kisses and Kinks

    Lol. Love the porn fail. Also, really like your blog. :)

  • http://vanillamom.wordpress.com nilla

    snikker…

    gods… what will they think of next?

    pizza porn?

    *giggles*

    puta youra pepperoni righta heah…

    egads!

    nilla