Jun 292010
 

The SaSi is no longer in production. If you want something even shittier, there’s the LELO Ora.

The Je Joue SaSi is a few years old now, but it’s still often touted as one of the most innovative sex toys on the block. It’s just like oral sex! It remembers what you like! Look at the rolly-ball go! It’s a technological wonder!

And yes, the SaSi does look exciting. It features a mechanical ball about the size of a small gumball that moves around underneath a thin layer of 100% silicone. It has a “customize” mode in which the user can skip certain settings and press the “don’t stop” button on others. Over time, the toy remembers which settings were favored, LIKE A GOOD LOVER1, and will repeat them.

Like everyone, I was intrigued. But not intrigued enough to drop $150 on the SaSi, or even really ask anyone to send it to me. I heard mixed reviews, and I feared the SaSi simply wouldn’t be strong enough for me. When I was contacted recently by Je Joue, though, I could no longer refuse — I needed to face the SaSi once and for all. To find out the truth, and report back.

But I am sorry to report, the truth is not very good. The truth is, in fact, pretty disappointing.

The sad fact is that the SaSi’s rolly-ball is extremely weak. “Mild” would be an overstatement. I have to press the toy between my labia and hold it there, hard, if I want to feel the ball moving at all. The toy has many ball movement patterns which can be increased or decreased in speed; the problem is, the speeds begin with A Slug’s Pace and end with Sort-of Fast, I Guess. It basically feels like a tiny ball massaging my clit with very fickle movements. Vibration can be added, and it helps, but SaSi’s sensations are still far too subtle, and its needs as a sex toy far too great. Read on and that last part will make sense. Maybe.

Things did not begin well between SaSi and I. When I first attempted to lift the silicone cover for the charging port, I found my blood pressure rising. It took a lot of wheedling to get it to come up, and now it takes a lot of wheedling to get it back down. Even worse, I found that the charging cord has to be shoved into the hole in just the right way for it to stay connected and charging. The SaSi charged for 45 minutes initially; the manual says it normally takes 1 hour and 45 minutes.

The first time I used the SaSi, I didn’t use the vibration modes at all. I spent a long, painful hour focusing on trying to get off. I can’t count the number of times I got the rumblings of an orgasm, the very tip of the iceberg, only to have them dissolve quickly into a lack of stimulation. It got to the point where rubbing the tip of the toy against my clit sounded more pleasurable than continuing to suffer through the weak-ass ball movements. That’s fucked up, people, since I never rub myself with toys.

The orgasm I eventually achieved (yes, it felt like an achievement) was longish, but tortured — there wasn’t enough stimulation, so my body was confused as to what was happening and didn’t go for the orgasm full bore. Afterward, my fingers hurt from grasping and pushing SaSi’s body against myself, and my brain hurt from the weight of disappointment and despair.

I knew things were bad when I actually dreaded using the toy again.

The SaSi redeemed itself slightly in round two — this time, it actually got me off in a semi-decent amount of time (25 minutes or so). You can thank the added vibrations for that. But the experience was still not pleasant. I was reminded again of all the stuff that makes the SaSi a pain to use, like the placement of the buttons; they’re at the other end of the toy, where I can’t see them or press them easily while in use. And the toy is an obnoxious 2″ wide, which forces me to spread my labia and shove the SaSi against my clit. Then I have to keep re-positioning the toy to get the random ball movements to touch my clit.

In short, it just takes way too much brainpower to use the SaSi.

Oh, and “customize” mode? It’s cool in theory, but I didn’t notice any increase in pleasure after training the toy about what I liked.

I also tried some dildos while using SaSi. Aside from being very awkward due to SaSi’s hogging of my vulva, it also reminded me of just how subtle SaSi’s sensations are. If I dared to thrust with a dildo, dared to feel good feelings in my vagina, I could no longer feel anything on my clit. I had to refrain from thrusting and focus solely on my clit to derive pleasure from SaSi. This might be the biggest disappointment of all, as I am a dildo whore.

The third time I used SaSi, I concluded that this toy is just extremely incompatible with the way I jack off. I sit in a chair; I don’t spread my legs a ton; I am addicted to porn; and I religiously use dildos (and especially dildos that provide intense sensations). I loathe having to expend energy on using a clitoral stimulator, as I’d rather spend that energy fucking myself with a dildo. I prefer my clitoral stimulators to need nothing from me other than to be held in place. SaSi needs to be pressed, held there, and constantly shifted. It’s distracting. So distracting that I feel like I spend 70% of my time thinking about SaSi, and only 30% absorbing the porn I’m watching. Sorry, but anything that takes away from my porn enjoyment gets a big fat thumbs down.

There are several nice things about the SaSi, of course — like that it’s rechargeable, and it comes with a one-year warranty, a storage pouch, a weird silicone stand, and tons of power adaptors (“In case you want to experience the slowest orgasm in the world in Zanzibar,” says Carnivalesq). Notice, though, that none of those things have anything to do with how it feels on one’s clitoris and vulva.

If SaSi’s ball was 5x stronger and 5x faster, then SaSi might be worthy of its wondertoy status. Really, the potential for awesome is huge, as the rolly-ball sensation (what I can feel of it, anyway) is very unique.

But as is, I see only one very specific type of person who would like the SaSi: someone who does not use insertables, is very sensitive, has $150 to burn, and has time to sit around waiting for an orgasm. I imagine this person lying on a bed, spread eagle, eyes squeezed shut, fantasizing and focusing completely on SaSi’s sensations. Basically, the complete opposite of dildo-thrusting, porn-watching, eyes-bulging me.

The SaSi is no longer in production. If you want something even shittier, there’s the LELO Ora.

  1. I should really quit making fun of the rhetoric that “oral sex”-like toys use, but I can’t help it. []

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  • http://thecherryscoop.blogspot.com/ Sundae

    The mental images this particular review conjures up are absolutely priceless, especially that closing line. I so imagine you waving dildos about, hands scrabbling frantically for lube so you don’t miss a second of James Deen. Slow, sensual gum-ball massage would not exactly be my thing either, though I totes want to try it out. I will instead get a gum ball and a dental dam and roll it around my clit with my finger instead. Then eat it once I am done.

  • http://elodieonlove.com/ Elodie

    Well, I’m sensitive and have time, but I don’t have $150 and not being able to use an insertable would bug me. I’m still curious about how the SaSi would feel because it’s just so different. Hopefully they’ll come out with a stronger/smaller one soon.

    “there wasn’t enough stimulation, so my body was confused as to what was happening and didn’t go for the orgasm full bore”

    Sounds like some kind of torture device.

  • Outspoken Clitic

    DAS WUNDERSPIELZEUG DES JAHRHUNDERT! I don’t know why, but I felt like that should be in German.

  • sophie2229

    At least you didn’t get the pink one

  • http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

    @sophie2229: This is true. My displeasure would have been amplified 10x.

  • http://britisshameless.com Britni TheVadgeWig

    Yeah. I have no desire to own this toy, nor have I ever. I remember the build up (heh) for the release (heh heh) of the toy, and then the reviews it got when it finally did come (heh heh heh) out were so… unenthusiastic. It’s all hype, man. At least you gave it a chance. That’s more than I’ll give it.

  • http://twitter.com/mivox mivox

    Yeeeeaaaahhhh…. after reading a ton of your other reviews, and knowing what I thought of it, this is pretty much what I expected you to say. lol

    IF (and ONLY IF) you have the most sensitive (and possibly also protruding) clitoris ON THE PLANET (and it might help if you’ve never actually received good oral sex) you may just love the SaSi. Otherwise, the stronger/faster ball critique is spot-on (and I’d also add “larger/more protruding ball”).

    It’s a nice concept, with a weak-ass execution.

  • LucyLemonade

    Sounds like you might have more luck with the shiatsu massage chairs!

  • http://voyeurondisplay.wordpress.com Evey

    HAHAHAHAHAHA. I got a SaSi as a gift when a friend found out my Lelo Gigi died (more like was ravaged by my puppy who apparently had a taste for silicone). I wasn’t wow’d.. i couldn’t get off.. and completely agree with the too slow, not ENOUGH assessment. I actually didn’t know it vibrated until after my puppy found the silicone on it too. One thing I will say about Je Jou, all I emailed them almost a year later and asked for a replacement silicone cover (they actually can come off pretty easy) and they are sending it free of charge from europe.

  • Brandy W

    So sorry this sucked ass for you but thrilled to see the review since on a romance readers yahoo group we were just talking this toy. I posted the link to your review there since there were a few women interested in it and thought the price was insane.

  • http://pollyvincere.tumblr.com Polly Vincere

    I’m so glad you honestly review toys. Sometimes I wonder if I should feel jealous when I see people writing about their “fancy” (a/k/a expensive) toys because the writers always seem to L-O-V-E them…then I read your reviews and well, I’m not jealous.

    Your review lets me know how this will work for some people and maybe not for others. I know many people will claim this (and some of your other recent reviews) too “snarky” or “judgmental” – but I truly appreciate your delivery of honesty. For those of us who don’t get toys like this for free, and live on limited budget, it is important to know about the flaws of “fancy” toys.

  • http://batterybliss.com simon

    I’ve read much marketing hype about this toy over the past year or so, and this is the first actual review I’ve read by someone who has used it. It’s probably significant that most of the people who have told me how wonderful it was were men who obviously lacked the necessary equipment to make that sort of statement.

    I’d guess the feature about learning what you like would be a lot handier if you liked anything it did. ;) Thanks for this review, I probably would have eventually bought one as a gift for someone out of curiosity and been secretly annoyed at their lack of enthusiasm about it.

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  • Lisa Jackson

    Just want to say I couldn’t disagree with you more on the Sasi! I absolutely love the toy!
    My boyfriend bought it for me about a year ago and after figuring out how to program the Sasi I had my first huge orgasm from a toy! I am sure the Sasi is not for everyone but it does the trick for me.

    – Lisa

  • Kyra

    Hm, this toy sounded like such a great thing. But I guess it won’tdo the trick for me since I enjoy strong vibrations. :( I also hope that they’ll bring out a stronger and faster version.
    By the way I really laughed at your closing line. Great imagery. :D

  • Selective Sensualist

    I wish Je Joue would come out with an improved version of the SaSi. You know, with the changes you suggested: the larger ball, faster rolling movements, and stronger vibrations. That toy would, most likely, rock! In the meantime, I guess I’ll pass. I do really like their G-Ki though.

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  • http://www.namelesschaos.com namelesschaos

    Sad to see so many negative reviews for this never the less i have to admire Je Joue for going for something innovative instead of producing a 180 variants of the rabbit vibe like some companies.

  • Bri

    I had such high hopes for SaSi too, but since I don’t have $150 to burn, I’m kinda glad it isn’t as awesome as it pretended to be.

  • Cat

    This makes me sad. The SaSi looks so nice…it’s unfortunate that it doesn’t perform Like a few partners I’ve had, I guess.

  • Crystalline

    Haha, epic last paragraph! It’s too bad about the SaSi, although I can’t say I’m surprised after seeing a debut demonstration. I admire your forbearance; ten minutes of ‘going nowhere’ and I would’ve thrown the thing against a wall. Right before remembering how much it cost. XD

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  • Kiwi

    My biggest dissapointment with the SaSi is the the ball is too small. Or my outer labia is too cushiony. Or something. Hard to make the ball reach my clit.. Also, having to tilt it in awkward angles if I want to use some of the pattens… No. It stays in my drawer and just… Is.