Apr 082010
 

It’s been a little while since I crowned the Fairy Mini Mini better than the Hitachi in almost every way, but there’s a new Fairy in town — the Fairy Mini Wireless. It’s smallish, rechargeable, and has that same awesome variable speed dial.

Too bad it can’t hold a charge to save its life.

The Fairy comes with a nice drawstring bag (pink, of course!) and not much else. The two charging cables (USB and AC) come in separate boxes. There is no manual, and very little English on the Japanese-riddled box. I did find these tidbits: Play over 20-30min with charging for 60min; Over charging protection circuit added; It is so compact to conceal in your bag (no, not really). I was also sent the Chaos attachment. Don’t click that unless you want a disturbing image burned in your brain.

At 7 3/4″ long with a head diameter of 1 3/4″, the Fairy isn’t big. But compared to the Mini Mini, it’s not small either — it’s similar in size to the Acuvibe Mini. Like all the other Fairies, it’s made of plastic and PVC, and has a flexible neck. The shaft has a little slit where the charging cord plugs in; unfortunately, this slit is covered by a tiny white plug that is not attached to the toy in any way. It’s nearly inevitable that you will lose this piece. Good luck.

When the Fairy is charging, a green light on the shaft illuminates. Sometimes, after hours, the light turns off. Sometimes, it never turns off. I was never sure how long to charge the Fairy, so I did a multitude of tests. The amount of time that the Fairy lasted on each charge varied widely.

  • 1 hour 15 minutes via power cord: 29 minutes, immediately after charging
  • 8 hours via power cord: 27 minutes, immediately after charging
  • 5 hours via USB cord: 20 minutes, immediately after charging
  • 4 hours via USB cord: 14 minutes, later that night
  • 1 hour 15 minutes via USB cord: 9 minutes, immediately after charging
  • 1 hour 15 minutes via USB cord: 1 minute, several days later

I could’ve kept testing, but I got really sick of it. Bottom line is, you have 1-29 minutes to orgasm. You do not know how long you have. It may or may not be dependent on which cord is used to charge. It most likely depends on how soon after charging you are using it. Ready, set, GO!

Um, yeah. This is not cool. This is, in fact, horrifically bad. Because this toy seems not at all built to hold its charge for any amount of time — and that makes its rechargeability a liability rather than an asset. The day that I turned it on and it lasted a whopping one minute, I was done. This toy sucks.

The vibrations are pretty strong, yes, and I can easily get off with them — if they last. However, the vibration intensity doesn’t hold a candle to the Fairy Mini Minis. This tends to be the case with rechargeable vs. AC-powered toys, and it’s very striking. The Fairy Mini Wireless can’t compete with the Hitachis power, whereas the Fairy Mini Mini eclipses the Hitachi.

Oh yeah, and I should probably address that terrible Chaos attachment, huh? Well, it feels exactly how you would assume — prickly and incredibly awkward. However, it did inspire me to dig out my Little Shop Of Horrors soundtrack, which was quite enjoyable. Here he is, folks, the leader of the plaque!

So if you want a small version of the Hitachi, and you want something that won’t die on you right before you come, I would suggest any of the wired Fairies. I love my Fairy Mini Mini, even with its short power cord, because that power cord ensures that it will last as long as I need. The Mini Mini isn’t rechargeable, of course, but it’s stronger, smaller, far more reliable, and even cheaper by 13 bucks. That I can stand behind; I can’t stand behind quickly-draining charges and sudden death.

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  • Saraid

    That’s been my experience as well. I’m just now finishing up my review and couldn’t get mine to last longer than around 5 minutes, but I don’t have a wall charger. This was when using it directly after charging.

  • http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

    @Saraid: Wow, that’s terrible.

  • http://dick-n-jane.com Dick

    I think you should abandon your role as reviewer and get a job in QA! Nice analysis of the battery life… what kind of battery is it? Sounds like a crummy NiCad which requires special handling or deteriorates quickly. A more expensive Lithium Ion battery would likely perform better. Thanks for the great review!

  • http://lusciouslily.blogspot.com/ Luscious Lily

    Good god, that’s terrible! How the hell did something so sucktastic make it out of the factory? >.<

  • http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

    @Dick: According to the shaft, it’s “Li-ion.” Hmm…

  • http://lovenixie.blogspot.com nixie

    I have the pocket fairy, which is wireless. seems to hold a charge very well. Up to an hour after a 70 minute charge time. Could it be that this model has a motor that is much too large for the charge it’s receiving? The pocket fairy seems to be holding up well and the vibrations are very very powerful. I’d suggest giving that one a shot.

  • http://quizzicalpussy.com/ quizzical pussy

    So, concerning this Chaos attachment thing: Why? Why. WHY? Dear God, why?

  • http://heyepiphora.com Epiphora

    @nixie: I’m glad to hear that that one is working out for you. Personally, I’m happy with my Mini Mini. I don’t mind the cord.

    @quizzical pussy: I HAVE NO IDEA.

  • http://www.ToyDemon.com ToyDemon

    Sorry about the problem, it doesn’t seem typical from the ones we’ve tested and the many ToyDemon and our partners in Europe and Asia have sold. We will definitely look into it and contact the manufacturer about it. Thanks for the detailed review :)

  • http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com Joan Price

    I just reviewed the Mini and Pocket Fairies — http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com/2010/04/fairy-wands-make-turbo-magic.html — and loved them both. I’m glad to read your review to avoid the Mini wireless! Looks like it should have spent more time in R&D or QA before sending out this one. I would have guessed it was defective, except that Saraid had the same experience! Thanks for setting us straight!

  • Michele

    Well that just sux. I actually had my eye on this one up until now. What on earth were they thinking?

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  • Trix

    Oh, that’s a shame; I was so looking forward to the USB charger as a great idea. Also strange that rechargeables aren’t as powerful in the first place…punish the eco-minded, why don’t they? Sheesh.

  • Selective Sensualist

    Well, I think that pretty much settles it. I’d been debating which Fairy wand to try for some time since I don’t have anything from their line-up. Looks like it will be the Mini Mini! Thanks for this fantastic review.

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  • http://twitter.com/hopeandmemory Liz

    so… that attachment… i don’t even. :| totally reminds me of Audrey II, though, hahaha.

    i can’t believe it actually only lasted a minute on that one charge. that’s just absurd.

  • http://www.namelesschaos.com namelesschaos

    Sorry to see this didn’t work well for you. I still want to try all members of the fairy line but I guess I’ll move this one to the bottom of the list. Also in regards to the chaos attachment, it looks like some-short of of evil alien thing. Also despite sharing the same name I would like to assure everyone none of my parts are prickly and awkward ;-)

  • Crystalline

    Ugh, yeah, I have a wireless and it’s now at the bottom of my closet in a dusty box.

    LMAO! I clicked the attachment link and $*&%)@$!! Predator, what?! XD Can’t stop laughing.
    Ah, and in another photo it looks like a Venus Flytrap.

    The next photo demonstrates application. Recommendation? Smoosh against everything!

    *cries* XD XD

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  • Lolmerrill

    I remember when I almost bought this. I am a die hard FMM fan. I couldnt love it more if it were lime green and played my entire itunes library…. okay that’s a lie. I feared that a wireless version was too good to be true and you confirmed it was. Many thanks for always telling the cold, hard truth.
    sincerely,
    My vagina

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