Feb 112010
 

The Toyfriend Ticklers will fool you, with their neon colors and cute-ass shapes. But their adorableness is matched, even overtaken, by their failure.

Is it really failure, though, if all they do is live up to their name? They… tickle.

Well, I’m still disappointed.

I received the Mystic Tickler and the Bunny Tickler. Both are made of 100% silicone. Each comes with an N battery and a transparent plastic stand (since obvs I want to display my little alien and bunny clit friends). Each has one speed, but the speeds are different: the Mystic’s vibration is exceedingly weak and doesn’t transfer to the antennae at all, while the Bunny has a stronger vibration that, well, still sucks. Neither one could get me off.

It’s the N batteries. According to Wikipedia, N batteries are used for “remote-control door chimes, and other low current drain devices. Also used for wireless microphones . . . and some laser pointers.” LASER POINTERS, people. That may be enough for your cat, but it is not enough strength for your clitoris. Trust me.

The shapes are interesting. The Bunny’s ears feel nice cradling my clit. The Mystic’s antennae might possibly feel nice, if I could feel them at all. But that vibration “strength,” man. I can’t handle it.

Also, the Ticklers cost around $30 each when not on sale. Which is just too dangerously close to $40 for a vibrator that won’t actually result in orgasm.1

Yeah, that’s all I have to say.

  1. If you want one of those, try the Silver Bullet, which takes (gasp!) AA batteries. []
  • Hah. I’m not surprised. I’ve yet to feel a toy that uses an n battery that can actually do much of anything. They are cute designs though, maybe they could be redesigned as something that takes at least a double A battery and do a much better job. Still wouldn’t be enough for a decent number of people, but probably wouldn’t fail so hard.

  • Seriously? $35 for something that should actually be a bullet…I mean ONE N battery = bullet to me. Not even a strong one, just, well a bullet. Gosh, I am so sorry you even had to deal with that.

    And, what? You don’t display your sex toys? The rest of us do 😛

  • @femmina: The frustrating thing is that the shaft is totally big enough for at least an AAA!

    @Alley: Alright, you got me! If I liked these things, I’d probably think the stands were cool.

  • carnivalesq

    Tickler faaaaaaiiiiiillll.

  • tim1724

    You know, an N and a AAA provide exactly the same voltage (1.5 V with alkaline chemistry) and can put out about the same amount of current. (The main difference is that the N holds less charge, so it won’t last as long.) So switching to a AAA wouldn’t make any difference at all.

    The problem is almost certainly a crappy motor, or the use of materials which fail to transmit the vibration enough. The motor might perform better at 3V, but that would require 2 alkaline cells. (It doesn’t matter whether they’re AAA, N, AA, C, or even D .. they all put out the same 1.5V, as voltage is determined by the type of chemistry used and number of cells.)

    Note that the Layaspot uses multiple AAA cells. (Three, if I remember correctly, which results in 4.5 volts.) If you tried powering it with a single AAA, it would be pretty pathetic.

  • @tim1724: I didn’t know that, but I do know that one AAA is still not enough for me, so that makes sense.

    And yes, I recommended the LayaSpot precisely because it provides more power.

  • Maybe you should try nipple ironing with it. I hear that feels amazing.

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  • Selective Sensualist

    What a shame. These are so cute!

  • Bri

    These really ARE cute and I would be tempted to display them. But, from the sounds of it, I’d NEVER be tempted to use them for their intended purpose. Which defeats the point of my dropping $35 a piece…not happening.

  • Liz

    the antennae on the mystic look way too narrow to do much of anything at all, regardless of how much power the vibrator has. but maybe i just need a crapload of stimulation. i don’t know.

    that said, i love the vibrance of the pink on the bunny tickler.

    also, i didn’t even know N batteries existed until i started buying vibrators. so… i don’t know if that says anything about how useless they are, but there you go.

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  • Sarah Marlatt

    Alien vibrators!