11.16.09

Jack-off Journal #1

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

Settled into bed with Roulette on my laptop and the Better than Chocolate on my clit, for probably the most simple masturbation session in a while. Didn’t use any other toys, wanting to see if the Better than Chocolate could do it for me by itself.

As I suspected, the weak vibrations meant it took ages for me to come. It took so long that I found myself rewinding the porn to the good parts, hoping this time I would be able to come before the boring parts started. Eventually I did come, and it was a long, satisfying orgasm, much to my surprise.

Friday, November 6th, 2009

I began with a mini G-spot orgasm with Raquel, which was very tiring. My arm was like, “I am done now, thx.” But I couldn’t stop watching Belladonna’s Strapped Dykes, which was just way too hot for its own good, so I grabbed my Seduction and popped the G-Point attachment onto my Eroscillator. My pussy had that non-lubricated feeling that comes after I squirt, but it actually felt good with the friction of the Seduction’s wood rubbing my G-spot. Before long I had one of the most intense orgasms I’ve had in a while — a dual G-spot/clitoral orgasm. This was the first dual orgasm that I’ve had with an insertable other than the Pure Wand. On Twitter, a friend toasted to my glorious orgasm.

Afterward, I was so exhausted that I flopped on the couch and laid there like a dead fish. Despite being not that hungry, I ate peanut butter toast and watched Wife Swap. As if in harmony with my orgasm, this particular episode of Wife Swap featured one of the most amicable table meetings ever.

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

No porn: that is how I started. No porn, just a very long playlist of songs I wanted to test with the OhMiBod Freestyle. I made it through a large chunk of songs, and came close to orgasm several times (I honestly considered timing my orgasm so that it would be during “God Says Nothing Back” by the Wallflowers, purely for comedic value in this journal) before I decided to throw in some pussy action. And by pussy action I mean squirting-to-the-high-heavens action, for that was all I wanted when I grabbed my Pure Wand out of its drawer and draped my Throe over my desk chair.

I finally turned on some porn that I knew was going to be hot without having ever seen it beforeĀ – Bitchcraft 4, the scene with Sasha Grey and Bobbi Starr. I squirted not long after, and it was a glorious, wet orgasm that reminded me of the intensity of my first time squirting, soaking a huge spot on the Throe. I’m not used to this amount of ejaculate, as evidenced by the fact that I proceeded to stand up — and my come proceeded to run down the backs of my legs. I was amused.

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

I was in something of a rush. My boyfriend was coming home from a concert, texting me from the bus ride, and I wanted to finish my jacking off before he arrived. The problem: I kept getting distracted by stupid shit in the porn I was watching, such as a chick calling a non-phallic glass dildo a “cock”… and some really distressing extreme genital close-ups. I was also running a virus scan, which did not appreciate me trying to watch video simultaneously. This resulted in the blue screen of death at a really inopportune moment.

I eventually got off — with the marshmallow attachment on the Eroscillator, and the Pure Wand in my pussy. I squirted a little, but the orgasm was weaker than last time. Not a minute after I put my pajama pants back on, my boyfriend walked in the door. Oh snap.

Friday, November 13th, 2009

A quickie with the Fairy Mini Mini Wand and Tantus Echo. Porn of choice: Belladonna’s Hell’s Belles (holy crap, Sean Michaels’ cock is long!). This, I think, was my first time using the Fairy directly on my clit, not through my underwear, and my first time using it with lube. The contact between the lube and the Fairy’s head created a very weird, electric, razor-against-face sound. Kind-of distracting, but I still had a nice long, quivery clitoral orgasm that made my leg jiggle against the floor.

Saturday, November 14th, 2009

My boyfriend cleaned the bathtub, so I took a bath to test the Better than Chocolate‘s waterproof abilities. When it became clear that I would probably reach orgasm in approximately 36 hours, I called for my boyfriend to go rummage in my vibrator drawer and bring me “the blue one.” After trying to bring me the wrong “blue one,” he brought me my Turbo Glider, one of my oldest sex toys. My clit immediately woke up upon contact with the Turbo Glider, and soon it brought me to one of those faithful orgasms it was known for back in 2007. Those were the days, or something.

If you liked this, you might also enjoy these posts:


Share on Tumblr      Like

What's on your mind?

I welcome comments with open arms! To ensure your comment will be approved, take a gander at my commenting policy.

Want your comment to have a snazzy icon next to it? Get a Gravatar!

Tons of HTML tags are supported in comments.

Don't miss a post! Subscribe to Hey Epiphora via RSS or via email!

12 responses so far to Jack-off Journal #1

  1. AshleyNo Gravatar Says:

    I love it! It’s a really cute, interesting idea. It logs your masturbatory habits but not in a really ‘erotic story’ kind of way (which we all know you wouldn’t do). I think you should keep it up, I really like it.

    ReplyReply
  2. Britni TheVadgeWigNo Gravatar Says:

    I really like this. It’s interesting to me to see how everyone does their masturbation thing. Your masturbation habits are much more diverse than mine. I grab my Hitachi, crank out a few, and that’s it. It’s very interesting to hear about the different toys you use and how you get off.

    ReplyReply
  3. EpiphoraNo Gravatar Says:

    @Britni TheVadgeWig: Thanks! I try to change it up, although I can see myself sliding into Eroscillator-only territory…

    ReplyReply
  4. ToygirlNo Gravatar Says:

    Lol I’m already halfway to Eroscillator-only territory. Also, I think the talking arm should make further appearances.

    ReplyReply
  5. SarahbearNo Gravatar Says:

    I love it. I’m with Ashley, it’s awesome because it’s not erotica.

    ReplyReply
  6. Backseat BoohooNo Gravatar Says:

    This feature officially ROCKS, and I am so glad that somebody else considers the Turbo Glider an old faithful!

    And now I have to get an Eroscillator. I just have to.

    ReplyReply
  7. MimiNo Gravatar Says:

    It’s a nice variation from your reviews, plus it allows your readers to feel like they’re getting to know you better without being overtly personal or erotic. Sweet.

    ReplyReply
  8. MadGastronomerNo Gravatar Says:

    While I really do like it that you didn’t turn the journal into erotica, I’m not especially interested in reading about other people’s masturbatory habits. Mind you, that just means I’ll skip it when you post, it’s clearly going to be a popular feature. I only mention it because you asked for feedback.
    I still love the reviews, of course.

    ReplyReply
  9. Kristine EmpireNo Gravatar Says:

    Love this idea! Embrace the orgasm, girl. And keep letting us know which products are worth it!

    ReplyReply
  10. EmilyCNo Gravatar Says:

    You know I kinda think all women should do this, if not in a public blog than a private journal. I don’t have a good sense of how often I orgasm with any particular toy or what I’m watching or anything, and it would be interesting to see.

    I appreciate that you’re not trying to make this an erotic feature, but maybe a few more details about the way you use each of the toys? Sometimes I find new tricks for “old” toys, but more often than not I forget… might be cool to document those little things, and give us some new techniques to try.

    And thanks for the shout out– I will toast to your fabulous orgasms anytime, girl!

    ReplyReply
  11. WilhelminaNo Gravatar Says:

    hmm. this is pretty interesting to read as a one-off thing, i can’t see myself reading it again/that often simply because like other commenters said, other people’s masturbatory habits don’t really interest me that much

    that said… wow, you DO have a very colorful masturbation-life!

    ReplyReply
  12. Selective SensualistNo Gravatar Says:

    Boyfriends who clean the tub for you and bring you your vibrator of choice are the best!

    ReplyReply