Intimate Organics Hydra frustrates me because it’s so close to perfect. So close.
And if you have a stuffed-up nose and malfunctioning taste buds, it will seem completely perfect. It’s water-based, glycerin free, DEA free, and paraben free. It’s vegan. It has a truly perfect consistency: thin enough to feel effortless, thick enough not to drip off whichever toy I slather it on. It comes in a classy bottle, it works like a dream, and at $16 for 4 ounces, it’s a pretty good deal.
With a fully functioning nose and tongue, however, the downfalls of Hydra become clear. The taste is really rancid — like eating perfume. It has a medicinal, fake clean smell to it that reminds my boyfriend of ballpoint pen ink and reminds me of sanitary pads. A lot. While it could definitely smell worse, I think we can all agree that these are not the sexiest of smell associations. (I’m not sure it could taste much worse, though. Nobody wants to consume perfume.)
The weird thing about the strange smell is that everything else I own from Intimate Organics smells good. Adventure Anal Relaxing Spray? Potent, orange-based scent. Discover G-spot Gel? The expected peppermint. Energizing Foaming Bath? A delicious blend of ginger and orange. So I’m pretty sure my sense of smell is intact, and Hydra just smells weird.
Nonetheless, Hydra is my current favorite lube. Its perfect consistency and lack of harmful ingredients make up for its whacked out smell and horrific taste. Really.
Thanks, PinkCherry.com!
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October 15th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
I totally get that, dude. I love this stuff, but it’s got a strange smell, and I have been too chicken shit to taste it! Ball point pen ink! That’s it!
October 15th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
The ball point pen ink smell is PERFECT if you’re into “dirty office sex” roleplay! (or just plain old “dirty office sex”)!
October 15th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
My husband loved the feel of this but it’s too thin and sticky for me. I have to go smell my bottle now LOL
October 17th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
All IO products seem to have that rank, nasty taste. It’s a shame, because their lotion smells beautiful, but as soon as somebody would kiss your skin, they’d get a mouthful of soapy flavor. Uck.
October 20th, 2009 at 10:32 am
When I tasted it, I put the tiniest dab on my finger and took the tiniest lick. I’m a huge wuss.