Tomorrow marks the one-year anniversary of this here blog, so of course, I wanted to give out some presents! I was inspired by other blogiversary contests held by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr and Wilhemina Wang, which featured a bunch of prizes and thus many winners. I have seven great prizes here to give away to seven lucky winners! I will choose most of the winners by random draw, and let each winner pick from the available toys.
Since there are about a hundred really great toys I’d love to give away, I had to narrow the scope a little bit. I decided to play with the theme of realizations. So all of these prizes are toys/porn I have tried/seen and absolutely loved, for one reason or another. Check out the quotes from my reviews to find out why, then scroll down to find out how to enter!
The toy that made me realize…
…vibrations aren’t necessary at all: the Tantus Alumina Motion! Courtesy of Tantus.
The arrow-shaped bulbs create a unique feeling that I haven’t experienced before. The bulbs are small, but they’re mighty.
…I can squirt: the Lelo Ella! Courtesy of Tabu Toys, in your choice of black or white.
I know the story of my first ejaculation is a heart-warming tale, but the point is, the Lelo Ella is an incredible dildo . . . It practically oozes luxury, as do all Lelo toys, and it truly works in harmony with my body in a way that no other toy ever has.
…how awesome butt plugs can feel: the Fun Factory Bootie! Courtesy of Early to Bed.
Bootie is a perfect example of why I created the Hi, I love you sub-category of reviews. It was love at first insertion.
…my boyfriend actually does like masturbation sleeves, as long as they rule: the Fleshlight! Courtesy of PinkCherry, in any style you desire.
My boyfriend was grinning after he used the Fleshlight. Grinning, people. His reactions to other masturbation sleeves have been indifferent shrugs and swift shakes of the head . . . But the Fleshlight has blown every other masturbation sleeve out of the water . . .
…how much I love girth: the Papaya Toys Candy Stick! In lime green, people! Courtesy of Papaya Toys.
It’s easy to drown this review in praise for all the little things that make the Candy Stick awesome, but the way it feels in my pussy seals the deal. It is thick and fairly stiff — perfect for the tail end of my masturbation sessions . . . Fill my pussy up with the Candy Stick, and I am happy as a clam.
…vaginal balls are fun, no matter if my kegels need them or not: the Lelo Luna Beads! Courtesy of Vibrator.com.
The sensation of the balls vibrating inside their plastic housings was so exciting and interesting. It made my pussy say, “hello, I exist!” I began dancing, rocking in my desk chair, and walking around the apartment aimlessly. I couldn’t get enough of the feeling. How did I ever think I didn’t need vaginal balls? Yes, my vagina is as tight as a Chinese finger trap, but these beads feel supremely awesome just hanging out in there.
The porn that made me realize…
…how hot and fun porn can be: Tristan Taormino’s Chemistry series! Courtesy of the glorious Tristan herself, all 4 DVDs from the series, autographed!
Um, can Tristan Taormino make one of these per year until I die? I dare say she’s found the gold mine with the Chemistry series. Each one of them has been exciting, interesting, and hot . . . I think the reason I love these films so much is because they have the perfect balance between sex and integrity.
Ways to Enter
There are five ways you can enter, and an endless number of times you can enter, if you feel like being relentless! Pick and choose whichever way(s) you prefer.
- Comment on other posts and reviews on this blog. I will be choosing my 2 favorite comments of all time — yes, going all the way back to last October, all 80+ pages of them — and giving prizes to those commenters.
- Subscribe to my RSS feed and comment here to let me know. If you’re already subscribed, comment here as well.
- Comment here and give me a suggestion for Hey Epiphora. Something I should review, write about, etc. Or even something I should change about the current state of affairs at this blog.
- Blog about this contest and let me know. (Please don’t hotlink to the images, yo.)
- Tweet! I will count up to 10 tweets. You must include @Epiphora in your tweet and be following me. Use this text or concoct your own: Oodles of sex toys are up for grabs! To enter to win, follow @Epiphora and RT. More ways to enter: http://bit.ly/1t20RZ
Deadline: October 27, 2009 at 11:59 p.m. PST.
The fine print
- If you are selected as a winner, you will have 24 hours to reply to my email with your address and choice of toy. If you do not respond, I will choose the next winner.
- The Lelo Ella and Papaya Toys Candy Stick are only available to winners in the continental U.S. The Fun Factory Bootie and Chemistry series are available to winners in the entire U.S. The Fleshlight is available to winners in the continental U.S. and Canada.
- Obviously (I hope), you must be 18+ or 21+ as required by your local laws to acquire sex toys/porn.
If you liked this, you might also enjoy these posts:
Like
October 6th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
One thing I’d like to see you do on the blog is do a step my step photography session. For example, with a vibe, a pick in your hand, with battery cap off, next to a ruler, etc. just to get a better idea of the toy itself.
October 6th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Hey- I already have been subscribed to your RSS feed, for a while actually.
As far as a suggestion- I’m still really looking forward to the Eroscillator review
Happy Blogiversary Epiphora!!
October 6th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
As much as I love, love, love your many sex reviews and I know that this is primarily what this blog is about I don’t think I’d be alone in saying I’d like to see you blog about other things, things that go on in your own life (that you’re comfortable with sharing); you’ve done similar things in the past but I think it’d be fun to see more.
October 6th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Jesus christ! Amazing. I would DIE for the Booty and Candy Stick alone. SERIOUSLY
October 6th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
And also, here’s a link to my blog about your blogiversary: http://mendthiscrack.wordpress.com/2009/10/06/epiphoras-blogiversary-blowout/
October 6th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I subscribed to RSS yo!
October 6th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Oookay:
1. Following RSS
2. Blogged about the Blogiversary (HAH I LOVE THAT!)
3. The only thing I’d suggest, is that I’d love to hear some “Daily/Weekly Musings of Epiphora” because I’m sure you’ve got some funny stories in ya.
Will tweet as well, of course.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
I’ve been subscribed to the RSS feed for a long time now…
October 6th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Hey man. I already subscribe to your RSS feed and I’ve blogged about your contest here: http://outspokenclitic.com/?p=639. Also, I want to see you review the Eleven after you’ve done the Randy. That would be awesome.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
I’ve been a subscriber for quite a while now. Your reviews are refreshingly honest and fun to read. I can’t think of a constructive criticism to make. Well…maybe a few less screen shots when you review a video. Ok. Thanks so much!
October 6th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
I’ve posted about your contest. (http://sexorcism.blogspot.com/2009/10/blogiversary-blowout-oodles-of-sex-toys.html)
October 6th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
I’ve had your RSS feed in my reader for a long time – hoping that counts!
Also, I tweeted about your contest; I’m bailar_vivir.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Hi, I just subscribed via Google Reader. I discovered this blog from puckerup.com, and it’s fantastic – I haven’t seen well-written sex toy reviews before…it’s much needed.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
I’m already a subscriber to your awesome RSS feed.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
I’m subscribed to your RSS feed
October 6th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
I’ve been subscribed to you for a while now
; tweeted the contest; I’ll blog about it soon; I’d love to see you review erotic books (sometimes I’m more interested in them than sex toys… I know, omg, right?) and I echo the sentiment of wanting to hear more about the life of Epiphora!
October 6th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
I’ve been a long-time RSS subscriber too
I’d be interested in seeing some “beginner’s guides” of sorts…Like a “beginner’s guide to anal sex” with suggestions for books/toys/dvds or a “beginner’s guide to female orgasm” with similar suggestions. Basically–your reviews compiled by subject!
October 6th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
1. I have blogged about your post and
2. Have RT’d many times!! w00t.
I am working on the other ones as we speak. But even if I don’t win some hot swag, I am happy for the posts either way!! I just *really really* want some sexy stuff. YUM.
October 7th, 2009 at 12:17 am
I am drooling after that Chemistry series… will be back!!
October 7th, 2009 at 12:26 am
Okay I couldn’t wait. Blog post about it can be found here http://beautifuldreamer30.blogspot.com/2009/10/holy-toys-batman.html
I’ve been following your RSS since you explained to me what an RSS was.
ANNNNDDD I also agree with the others that I’d love more personal stories from you. Your an awesome reviewer and I don’t want the reviews to slow down at all, but I think you’ve got a lot to say and I’d be an eager reader. And post your review of the Eroscillator- I can’t wait for it any longer!!
October 7th, 2009 at 4:37 am
I blogged about it here : http://funwithsammi2.blogspot.com
Agreed here too – more personal stories would be great!
October 7th, 2009 at 10:17 am
just signed up to receive the rss feed. So excited about this blog and this contest! yay!
October 7th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Just subscribed, and read the Ella post. I’ve gotta get my own!!
Thanks and congrats on your anniversary!
October 7th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Just subscribed to your feed.
Thanks for this!
Holly
October 7th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Oh! and I blogged it too.
http://eroticamusements.com/?p=1491
October 7th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Been following you on RSS for a while now.
October 10th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Subscribed!C’mmmmooooon, bootie!
October 11th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Tweeted and followed (Angel deSanguine), subscribed via RSS, blogged (http://dirtysexythoughts.wordpress.com/2009/10/11/happy-blogiversary-epiphora/)
Happy blogiversary!
October 11th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Okay… so…
We are following you on Twitter and RT’ed your post.
We are subscribed to your RSS (about time, really).
We put a link to your contest in our “Contests” section. (If that doesn’t count, I understand.)
We both agree that your site could use a little more of You in it, like stories and/or pictures. Still respecting your anonymity, though.
We both agree that your writing style is awesome and it especially comes out in posts where you mix personal storytelling and review.
Happy blogiversary, Epiphora.
October 11th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
I’ve been a subscriber to your blog since the beginning of this summer. I love the detail you go into in your reviews and the language you use to describe the physical sensations per toy.
October 11th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Hey Epiphora! I’m subscribed, I posted to “Shame, Fleshlight style”, and I’d love some presents. And maybe someone to share the toys with, could everyone send some vibes out to the universe for me? Wait, is that a knock at my door?…
October 12th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Longtime reader, first time commenter!
I would love to see you review the best toy in my collection – Jollies’ “Jack”. It’s a larger cock, but designed to be easier to insert with a smaller head and more girthy base… And it’s seriously one of the best things in my life at the moment. I can’t even begin to describe how fantastic this cock is, so I’d love to see someone with your sort of reviewing skills take it on.
October 12th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
@septicidal: Jack, huh?! Very interesting suggestion. I’d love to hear why you enjoy it so much, as the reviews I’ve seen have been less enthusiastic.
October 13th, 2009 at 7:47 am
I just added you to my RSS (was surprised to realized you weren’t already on there!) And tweeted the message, of course.
Jade
October 13th, 2009 at 8:32 am
I subscribe your feed.
October 13th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Blogged here: http://heartbreaknympho.com/2009/10/13/contest-blogiversary-blowout/
Another tip: more photos, perhaps, or even videos to illustrate some things like noisiness, etc. Sometimes it helps to gauge size, etc, by seeing it in the flesh in relation to other objects.
October 13th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
oh also! (now i’m bordering on spamming, huh?
) maybe you could consider writing general how-tos since you seem to be pretty well-versed in almost everything about non-bdsm sex toys… i think that could be pretty cool. and i’ve definitely found myself at a loss when searching for good guides… except for babeland of course.
October 13th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Thought of another suggestion. This is one I plan to do on my own blog, in time.
You’ve reviewed a ton of toys- make a list of your TOP ones. The ones you can’t live without. The ones you fuck with most frequently- the best of the best. I think it’d be helpful.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:18 am
subscribed to your feed
October 14th, 2009 at 5:20 am
maybe you could do something for people just starting out with toys and wanting to introduce them into use with there partner
October 14th, 2009 at 5:48 am
I tweeted you http://twitter.com/mmc67/status/4861334206
October 14th, 2009 at 8:04 am
I’ve been following for a while too!
(also your blog is the reason I decided to start blogging, keep up the good work!)
October 17th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
HI! I subscribed to your RSS feed for an entry in the contest.
October 17th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
I subscribed to your RSS feed and RT’d about your contest a bunch, and mentioned you in my blog!! And I would love to see more reviews about goood porn so I know what to look for!
October 17th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
I have subscirbed to your RSS feed, and will be pimping you out on Twitter, as well! Crossing my fingers for a win!
October 17th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Twitter follower and tweeted! @jaclynfett
http://twitter.com/jaclynfett/status/4954502524
October 17th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Happy Blogiversary!
P.S. I did like what one commenter said about photos – it would be interesting to see some “out of the box” pictures to get an idea of the size and such of a toy. I’ve ordered things online before and been surprised – not always pleasantly so – when I see the toy’s actual size.
/runs off to read your reviews
October 18th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
YAY how exciting!! Happy Blogiversary!!!! I love Hey Epiphora and am following!! Heres to another year of awesome blogging and reviews!!
October 19th, 2009 at 12:46 am
Yay for Blogiversaries!
I subscribed to your RSS feed.
Good luck to everyone!
October 19th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
I’ve always loved when you compare toys to previously reviewed products. I would also really like to see maybe a side by side comparison sometime (lube, vibrators, dildos, butt toys) just to see how they hold up when directly compared.
Just got the idea from some online shops that let you see side by side comparisons, attributes, dimensions, pros/cons etc…. I think seeing that would help me (and hopefully other people as well) in making purchases or decisions.
I would love to be able to get all the toys I would ever want (I’m sure this applies to almost everybody) but unfortunately I have to pick and choose due to limited funds….. Help us make tough choices!
October 20th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
1) Subscribed to your RSS feed.
2) One thing I think would be really cool for you to do, if not super practical, is review individual sex toy stores…maybe with a focus on the brick and mortar stores, and maybe dealing more with regional stores?
October 20th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
I added a post on my blog for your contest.
http://kyrastoybox.com/2009/10/win-sex-toys-from-epiphora/
- Kyra
October 23rd, 2009 at 4:09 pm
I tweeted @lambchop1965
October 23rd, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Tweeted: http://twitter.com/fashionablegal/status/5110808295
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:01 pm
The Lipstick Incognito Vibrator from Eden Fantasys! Review it so I can know if it’s worth buying!
: D
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:44 pm
http://twitter.com/mmc67/status/5113986146
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:45 pm
http://twitter.com/mmc67/status/5114019411
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:54 pm
http://twitter.com/mmc67/status/5114202986
October 25th, 2009 at 6:47 am
I found your blog through Google Reader as one of its suggestions for me, and I am glad I did. I have subscribed to your RSS feed and look forward to seeing your posts turn up in my “NSFW” category
October 26th, 2009 at 7:27 am
Subscribed to my Yahoo RSS feed, yo.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Following on twitter @lambchop1965
October 26th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Happy Blogiversary!!! Love this blog! I am subscribed to the feeds already. I can’t suggest any major changes. I like the review of male toys. Could you review some suction toys for him/her.
Maybe more pics or vids to demonstrate some of the things you mention in your reviews.
Keep being awesome.
October 27th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Just throwing this out there, but.. I don’t have a blog
However- if I did, you KNOW I’d blog about this! 
(Does that count? No, right? *SIGH* Well, here’s to hoping! .. F-in AMAZING contests, by the way..)
October 27th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
My suggestion for the site is to have more prizes in the competitions that are available to people outside America. The rest of the world gets horny too you know.
October 27th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
@Adam: Being a blogger from the U.S., I review for companies that are generally based in the U.S. I don’t control their shipping policies, and am happy to oblige their policies if they are kind enough to donate toys to my contests. I’m sorry that you feel so slighted, but it’s not my responsibility as a blogger from the U.S. to find non-U.S. stores I’ve never worked with and ask them to donate.
October 27th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
just want to say I just read the review of the Lelo Ella and I REALLYYYYYYY need to win that lol
October 27th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
@Epiphora: It appears that I may have mis-read something somewhere, I was under the impression you were supplying the prizes, not the companies themselves. I didn’t mean anything against you personally, nor against the shipping policies of your generous companies; it can just get very frustrating being ineligible for things soley because of geographical location and no other reason, especially when things such as the toys you review become quite expensive after factoring in exchange rates and postage.
October 27th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
@Adam: It says “courtesy of ____” after each toy to explain which company donated. It wouldn’t make any sense for them to mail the toys to me just for me to mail them off again (this also explains the specific shipping rules per toy). Since you never specified where you live, I can’t suggest any sites to you… but there are plenty of sex toy sites based outside of the U.S. LoveHoney, for instance, is a big one in the UK.
October 27th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
HEY! I blogged! http://ofsexandlove.com/2009/10/27/i-almost-forgot/