The Tool Shed in Milwaukee, WI
I suppose I have never divulged the fact that I really, really, really want to work at a sex shop. That’s because, where I live, my options to do so are pretty limited. I could work at a semi-sleazy shop where customers generally keep their distance from employees. Where jelly toys line the walls while Lelo toys are kept in a glass case. Where porn is so cheap it’s kept in bins. But… I’d really prefer something better.
A couple days ago, I had coffee with two gals who are working on opening a sex shop in my city. We chatted/geeked out about sex toy packaging, circus porn, the horror that is Fun Factory’s battery compartments, shitty “for women” porn, the Hitachi, and a bunch of other topics.
And they told me about their vision for their shop. It would be a boutique sex shop in a retail location that sells body-safe products and some awesome local products as well. They’re still working on finding a space, which means the reality of the shop is further away than I would like to admit — but the possibility of it coming into existence is knocking around my brain like crazy. It’s exactly the kind of place I want to shop at — and, if I can, work at. I keep thinking about:
Strolling around the store at opening time, checking the batteries in each toy.
Telling a customer that yes, indeed, that glorious toy they’re fondling is as awesome as it seems.
Explaining to someone why glycerine and parabens have no place in lube.
Recommending Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men to a curious couple.
I look at pictures and video of The Tool Shed, Hysteria, The Smitten Kitten, and of course, Babeland, and my heart flutters at the thought of inhabiting a similar environment. For once in my life, I feel like I’m actually an authority on something — and this gives me some serious confidence. I’m itching to get out into the world to talk to people about sex toys. And if I can do that in an inviting, colorful, well-lit, fun shop, I’ll be in heaven.
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August 27th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
I would love to work in one as well, but other than there not being one in my area, that plus classes would be way too much for me at once.
August 27th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Sounds like fun to me! There is a definite revolution in the toy industry and the concept you described is where it is headed. I think you would have an absolute blast!
August 27th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
I *did* work at one of those places for quite a few years. And it *is* awesome. There is nothing as rewarding as having someone come back in to thank you for completely changing their sex life. I miss it every day.
August 27th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
@Britni TheVadgeWig: That’s so cool. I already feel like I help people with this blog, but hearing it face-to-face would be especially rad.
August 27th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Honestly, YOU are meant to do this. But why wait to be an employee? Open your own shop. You’d be awesome!
August 27th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
God, I am so with you. I would die to work in a sex shop for a part-time job throughout grad school, even a sleezy one; maybe I could make some changes to the sleezier shops.
Although I have seen a vast disparity in porn prices. The one porn place about an hour from my uni charges upwards of $40 per DVD, but at the one near my house, there definitely is $5 porn.
August 28th, 2009 at 8:27 am
It sounds like way too much fun to be work! I think you should totally open your own place (and I will fly out to shop at it).
August 28th, 2009 at 8:32 am
P.S The Smitten Kitten video is hilarious.
August 30th, 2009 at 5:04 am
This sounds like an absolute dream job for you. I can’t wait to keep hearing updates on the progress.
August 31st, 2009 at 10:13 pm
I inquired about a job at the store nearest my home, but they’re not hiring and it’s kinda sleazy. It’s too bad I waited so long to acquire this “hobby”. I lived in Seattle (Babeland) and Minneapolis (Smitten Kitten). Yeah. It’s nice when you feel like you really belong somewhere!
July 23rd, 2010 at 2:14 pm
I am sad you do not live closer. Retail is a constant revolving door, xxx retail is even worse. I have to sort through “OMGZ I WANT TO WORK IN A SEX SHOP… just to say I work in a sex shop” people from those who actually can and excel.
I’d hire you on the spot.