Mar 272009
 

[This dildo is nearly impossible to find, but beautiful glass toys can be acquired
from Crystal Delights, Fucking Sculptures, or Simply Blown.
My favorites are the bumpy Star Delight and spiraled Crystal Twist.]

lemon-drops glass dildoDespite the grotesque name, I’ve always wanted to try a “juicer”-type glass dildo. I finally got the chance with the Lemon Drops, a stunningly beautiful piece of glass from DreamToys. To top it all off, the bumps on the Lemon Drops are yellow. Yellow! One of the seemingly forbidden sex toy colors! And I must say, it looks amazing. The Lemon Drops even came in a sturdy box lined with satin. With this, DreamToys has successfully trumped the packaging of most sex toys, let alone glass ones.

I don’t know much about this DreamToys company, but I like what I see. Their toys are very reasonably priced (roughly $30-50), have adorable names such as “Watermelon Ice,” and come in nice boxes with useful instructions detailing the glories of glass and how to care for it. Incredibly, DreamToys also offers a “Lifetime Replacement Warranty,” which guarantees a one-time replacement should you “chip, crack, break or render your item useless in any way.” Um, holy crap?

It was a given that I would like the bumps on the Lemon Drops. My first love affair with glass was with a bumpy glass dildo, and I quickly decided that bumps are the best texture around. Using the Lemon Drops dildo has only verified this fact. I also enjoy the cone shape of the Lemon Drops — it begins small for easy insertion, then grows in girth for increasingly more stimulation. Although the shaft appears to be a bit short, I found its length (five inches) to be perfect for me.

But the crank/handle, which seems so good in theory, is a flop. It’s too unwieldy for solo use, as it sticks out a good five inches from the shaft. It’s too far to reach, then nearly impossible to turn when/if I can contort my body enough to get a grip on the handle. I had my boyfriend control the handle once, but it still was not an easy feat for him. The length of the handle means less control for anyone using it, and with glass, that’s an issue. Nobody wants someone poking around in their vagina with a piece of bumpy glass.

I was disappointed by the utter failure of the handle because I love twisting textured toys and really feeling the texture. Unfortunately, it’s easier to twist a dildo with no handle than it is to twist the Lemon Drops. The Lemon Drops is still a stimulating glass dildo; it just has a long handle sticking out of it that does not serve the purpose it should.

I’m not going to give up on juicers, because I think I would be singing a different tune if the handle on the Lemon Drops were a lot shorter. I want to try something like the Raspberry Chunk to test this theory.