11.12.08

Review: Hitachi Magic Wand

The Hitachi Magic WandHello, hello, the reigning champ of vibes! Pleased to meet you. I thought I never would, as I was always put off by your grandma-esque appearance. But, presented with the offer to review you via Babeland, I could not resist. I had to know. What makes you so great? Why do the bloggers shorten your name to the majestic Hitachi? Am I going to shudder and squirt when I orgasm?

You came in a laughable box plastered with photos of dorky people using you on innocent spans of skin: backs, arms, shoulders, legs. But I knew the truth. Babeland’s cute plus and minus logo was taped on the box. I opened the box and flipped through the instruction manual.

Hitachi positions of massaging

I think you're missing one spot.

I plugged you in and turned you on “low.” Hey, I actually expected you to be louder. I guess all the hype worked in your favor this time. You sounded somewhat like an appliance; a higher-pitched vibration than most battery-operated vibes. I pressed your large head against my vulva through my pajama pants. Even then, the vibration was nearly too much. But I would persevere.

Ladies on the Hitachi box having great fun.

Whenever I was horny, I plugged you in and tried to enjoy you, but it was always too much. Your whirring head made my vulva itch. I tried putting three layers of towel between us; it worked at first, but after not much longer, the itch was back. Four layers of towel was too many, and just felt like a general vibration of towel. Not so fun.

The only time I have been able to handle your intensity has been when I’m about to come anyway. I toss my Xtreme Pack G-spot bullet away and pull you over to me. My orgasms with you have not sent me into orbit yet, but I will be patient. I know eventually I will sing your praises just as everyone else has. I just need time.

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10 responses so far to Review: Hitachi Magic Wand

  1. Beautiful Dreamer Says:

    Great review. I love how you include photos. It really spruces it up. :) & I agree about them totally missing a spot!!

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  2. thekittenpupNo Gravatar Says:

    I’ve always been curious about our friend the Hitachi… You know..whenever I see that name I expect to hear some sort of sound like a gong or some sort of ding in the background…teehee. Anyway, I too think it would be too much for me, but I’m sure some day the hitachi will join the rest of my toys in ye-’ole-toybox.. :)

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  3. ElodieNo Gravatar Says:

    To me, the Hitachi looks good for back massages, but not like something I’d want to use as a sex toy. Too big, too strong, needs to stay plugged in… not my thing.

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  4. LizNo Gravatar Says:

    This thing frightens me with its hugeness. The idea of actually putting that anywhere near my clit terrifies me; it looks like it could grind the damn thing off! AUGH. At best, I think it would make me go completely numb. But then I know a bunch of people who swear by it. So I don’t know what to think.

    At any rate, I’m glad to hear there’s at least one person out there who’s not wild about it.

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  5. Selective SensualistNo Gravatar Says:

    The Hitachi is too much for me, too — save for using it to apply vibrations to the base of a silicone dildo. Then it’s a godsend! Try it with your Jollet, if you haven’t already. I love it with my Jollie!

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  6. BriNo Gravatar Says:

    I love my fairy mini mini, I don’t think I’ll ever try the Hitachi…there’s just no need.

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  7. CrystallineNo Gravatar Says:

    Ahhh, yes, the itch. Complete turn-off! And “grandma-esque appearance,” right on, LOL!

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  8. Electric LadyNo Gravatar Says:

    Nice review. The Hitachi is definitely not for everyone, I don’t think you have to feel bad if its Magic doesn’t seem to be working on you (although it’s worth persevering a little with new things, I agree). I personally feel like I’ve had an epidural after about 30 seconds with it: numb from the waist down!

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  9. DaniNo Gravatar Says:

    Love love love this thing! Having someone else hold it on you while you grip the sides of the bed… I literally screamed and yelled. You can’t control your own body, I pretty much go into full body spasms! Definitely couldn’t handle using it on myself, but it is A LOT of fun with someone else!!

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  10. JaeleenNo Gravatar Says:

    My very very very favorite vibrator of all time…I own 3!

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