Some people might argue that mashed potatoes and gravy are the best thing about this time of year, but I’d argue that freakishly good sex toy deals win out. You can put both in your orifices, yes, but food is temporary, and high-quality dildos are forever. Also, I don’t recommend gravy as a lubricant. In case your mind was going there. Mine was.
The point is that if you have been waiting for a good price on the sex toy of your dreams, now is when you should bite the bullet. I watch sales and deals all year long, but this is when retailers tend to pull out all the stops. I even have some exclusive codes you won’t find anywhere but here, giving you a free vibrator, free tote bag, free toy cleaner/tiny dildo/toybox (!), free massage candle, free lube, and even limited edition dildos!
Live outside the US? You can get 30% off at Lovehoney (which has bases in the UK, Australia, and US) or 20% off everything at Canadian shop Come As You Are. (Also, Americans take note: the exchange rate is VERY MUCH in your favor. To the tune of a $65 Pure Wand.)
I’ll have deals from SheVibe, Tantus, Come As You Are, Lovehoney, Fun Factory US, Early to Bed, Babeland, GoodVibes, LELO, Pleasure Chest, Crystal Delights, NobEssence, We-Vibe, Sliquid, Smitten Kitten, Peepshow Toys, Stockroom, Twisted Monk, Fleshlight, Hot Octopuss, and Jimmyjane, plus porn-tastic sales, web hosting deals from HostGator, and the usual from Amazon.
I will be continually updating this post as more sales pop up, so use that refresh button!
My favorite deals of the moment (toy name links to my review):
- Up to 40% off at Fleshlight!
- We-Vibe Touch for $70, We-Vibe Rave for $84, and We-Vibe Tango for $56 at Lovehoney through 12/3
- Fun Factory Stronic Eins (or other Stronic) plus free toybox, toy cleaner, and tiny dildo for ~$142 at Fun Factory US (with code FUNEPIPHORA2016) through 11/30
- LELO Mona 2 for ~$127 at and LELO
- Eroscillator 2 Plus for $147 at GoodVibes or Eroscillator 2 for $88 at Smitten Kitten (with code CYBERMONDAY2016)
- Tie-Bright Vixen Mustang for $73 at Lovehoney through 12/3
- L’Amourose Prism V for ~$76 at Early to Bed (with code EPIPHORA15)
- BJ blowjob dildo for $59 at CAYA (with code AMERICANTHANKSGIVING), ~$62 at GoodVibes, ~$66 at Early to Bed (with code EPIPHORA15)
- njoy Pure Wand for $65 at CAYA (with code AMERICANTHANKSGIVING)
- Womanizer Pro for $164 at Peepshow Toys (with code FIVEDAY25)
- Magic Wand Rechargeable for $83 at Come As You Are (with code AMERICANTHANKSGIVING), $100 at Good Vibes and Peepshow Toys (with code FIVEDAY20)
- njoy Pure Plugs for ~$39-53 at CAYA (with code AMERICANTHANKSGIVING)
- Jopen Key Comet G Wand for ~$53 at Stockroom (with code CYBERTHANKS)
- Vibratex Mystic Wand for $45 at Lovehoney through 12/3
- OhMiBod Lovelife Cuddle for $49 at Lovehoney through 12/3
BEST FOR: orders over $125, especially for the LELO Mona 2, Doxy Wand, and more unique lines such as L’Amourose, NobEssence, New York Toy Collective, Fucking Sculptures, Leaf, Aslan Leather, Liberator, etc.
SheVibe is my favorite online shop. Not only is it run by amazing people who care, their selection is also pretty unparalleled. Now through 11/28, it’s an escalating sale at SheVibe: the more you buy, the more you save! Plus free shipping in the US with orders over $75.
- 10% off orders over $85 at SheVibe with code KRINGLE10
- 15% off orders over $100 at SheVibe with code KRINGLE15
- 20% off orders over $125 at SheVibe with code KRINGLE20
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! SheVibe is running a raffle just for my readers for a $300 gift card. Spend over $125 (before discounts!) and use code PIPH300 at check-out to be entered to win. I have a fair amount of readers, but not that many readers — your chances, I think, are quite good! Plus, a free mini lube with code PIPHLUBE. Finally, receive a free toybox with any Fun Factory purchase over $109.99 or more after discounts with code TOYBOX.
Check out my favorites for what you should buy! To get the best discount, it’s best to spend over $125, so now’s the time for you to get a spendy but wonderful toy like the LELO Mona 2, L’Amourose Rosa, Magic Wand Rechargeable, or NobEssence Seduction.
Of course, if you get just a couple of my favorite things, you’ll probably enter the $125+ threshold. Like the Pure Wand + Throe for squirting times, We-Vibe Tango + Dusk for HANDS FREE ORGASMS, or Joque harness + Mustang for epic strap on play! Of all the shops on this page, SheVibe has the best selection of Vixen Creations dildos, Liberator, and New York Toy Collective.
BEST FOR: really really cheap silicone butt plugs and dildos, specific Tantus toys.
Get the best prices by shopping in the Grab Bag section, where toys come in mystery colors. The Ripple Small ($16, my review) is a fantastic introduction to anal beads, and the Echo Handle ($22, you guys, $22!) is a superb textured dildo.
Otherwise, Tantus makes many things I love. My favorite anal toys are the Ryder ($24, my review) and Neo and Juice ($25), and some excellent dildos I’d recommend would be the Cush ($50, my review), Echo ($45, my review), Goddess ($41, my review), Duke ($44), Slow Drive ($28), Sport ($26), and Max ($65). The Super Soft C Ring ($6) is also rad.
Come As You Are
BEST FOR: Canadians, eh, or Americans wanting to take advantage of the exchange rate. The BEST deal on the njoy Pure Wand (actually all njoy), LELO Mona 2, Magic Wand Rechargeable, blowjob dildo, Vixen dildos, We-Vibe Tango, Joque harness, and Mystic Wand.
Thursday through Monday, get 20% off all sex toys at fabulous Canadian indie sex shop Come As You Are with coupon code AMERICANTHANKSGIVING. (Hah, nice!) My favorites are all listed here, and the exchange rate is such that many toys are at their best price anywhere. Plus, Canadians automatically get free shipping on orders over $50, and Americans get free shipping on orders over $100.
Due to nutso exchanges rates, Come As You Are actually has the best deal on the njoy Pure Wand ($65, and actually all njoy), LELO Mona 2 ($110), Magic Wand Rechargeable ($83), blowjob dildo ($59), Vixen dildos, We-Vibe Tango ($47), Joque harness ($82), and Mystic Wand ($43).
BEST FOR: international purchases of toys I adore, especially the OhMiBod Lovelife Cuddle, We-Vibe Touch, Rave, and Tango, Vibratex Mystic Wand, and Vixen Mustang.
My favorite worldwide sex toy shop, Lovehoney, is offering a steep 30% off my favorite toys, among their other sales and special offers, now through Saturday, December 3rd. This deal gives you the best price on the OhMiBod Lovelife Cuddle, We-Vibe Touch, Rave, and Tango, Vibratex Mystic Wand, and Vixen Mustang. Lovehoney also stocks the best inexpensive kegel balls, the Tracey Cox Supersex Toner Balls.
Those links should take you to the Lovehoney that corresponds to your location. If not, try these:
- Lovehoney UK: 30% off Epiphora’s Picks and other sale items
- Lovehoney US: 30% off Epiphora’s Picks and other sale items
- Lovehoney AUS: 30% off Epiphora’s Picks
Fun Factory US
Fun Factory toys don’t go on sale much, so this is important news: the innovating thrusting toys Stronic Eins, Drei, and Zwei are 25% off now through Wednesday, November 30th. Best of all? You can get free toy cleaner (which you must add to your cart!) and a free tiny Patchy Paul dildo (yes, like the one I have!) with coupon code FUNEPIPHORA2016. Plus, you’ll automatically get a Karim Rashid Toybox free with any purchase over $109.99. It’s kind of a great haul!
Which Stronic should you get? I mean, the Stronic Eins is one of my favorite sex toys ever; its swift back-and-forth movement strokes my G-spot with incredible ease, and you know I am ALL ABOUT that lazy masturbation. I also tried the Drei and Zwei.
Want to get something else in addition to/rather than a Stronic? Fun Factory’s Bootie is my all-time favorite silicone anal plug, I enjoy the odd sensations of the Bouncer and B Ball Uno, and the Tiger G5 and Big Boss G5 are impressively powerful vibrators for your money.
Early to Bed
BEST FOR: purchases of less expensive items and rare items from my favorites list, such as the blowjob dildo, L’Amourose Prism V, Magic Wand Original, cute butt plugs, and Vixen Creations single-density dildos, plus a free tote bag!
Do you understand how madly in love I am with Early to Bed? Especially because they worked with me on a special deal just for my readers again this year. Thursday, November 24th through Cyber Monday, buy at least one product from my favorites page and get 15% off your total order with coupon code EPIPHORA15. Plus, if you spend over $50 (before discount!) you’ll get a free “You Can Find Me In Bed” tote bag! Cyber Monday only, everything else at Early to Bed will be 10% off.
Early to Bed is one of the only stores to stock the epic new blowjob dildo. They are also especially great for non-dual-density dildos from Vixen that I love: Woody, Leo, Randy, and Large Real Bent (Claire). Here, you can also get a good deal on the L’Amourose Prism V, Hitachi, Cuddle, and Moka.
Although this may not be the steepest discount you can get, Early to Bed is one of the greatest little indie sex shops around. They’re not afraid to call out sexism in the industry and they work their butts off to provide accurate sex ed day after day, so you should support them!
15% off everything at Babeland through 11/30 with code CYBERSAVE16. Visit my favorites page for ideas on what to get. Perhaps the Doxy Wand, LELO Mona 2, Lovelife Cuddle, Picobong Ako, or Vibratex Mystic Wand? When it comes to dildos, you can’t go wrong with the Fun Factory Stronic Eins, Cush, and/or pretty much anything from Vixen Creations. They also have the Babeland-exclusive colors of Mustang and Leo.
Many things are happening at Babeland! Just watch out, these sales end on Sunday, November 27th.
20% off njoy 11/25 through 11/27 with code EPIPHORA.
Stainless steel wonders for your orifices, YES. Everyone needs a Pure Wand (“this dildo will alter your perception of sexual pleasure forever,” I once said, and I perpetually stand by that) and a Pure Plug (“put one in your ass, be astounded, THE END”).
25% off the Womanizer Pro now through 11/27.
This discount makes the unique clitoral suction sensation more within reach.
20% off the highest-priced item in your cart now through 11/27 with code 20SAVE.2
Got your heart set on something specific? Take 20% off with this code. Visit my favorites page for ideas on what to get. Perhaps the Doxy Wand, LELO Mona 2, Lovelife Cuddle, Picobong Ako, or Vibratex Mystic Wand? When it comes to dildos, you can’t go wrong with the Fun Factory Stronic Eins, Cush, and/or pretty much anything from Vixen Creations. They also have the Babeland-exclusive colors of Mustang and Leo.
20% off We-Vibe now through 11/27.
The We-Vibe Tango and We-Vibe Touch are the kings of the small rechargeable vibe market, with deep vibrations that other toys can only dream to achieve, and the Rave is a wonderfully versatile vibe. There’s also the Pleasure Mates Collection, which comes with a Tango and a butt plug sleeve that I fashioned into a hands-free clitoral orgasm device.
Get up to 20% off at GoodVibes through 12/1! I suggest you get something from my favorites page, like the njoy Pure Wand, anything from Vixen (I love Mustang and Buck), BJ blowjob dildo, Comet II Wand, NobEssence Romp, njoy Pure Plug, Vibratex Mystic Wand, and/or Liberator Throe.
BEST FOR: 20% off everything, and you’ll get a free vibrator!
I suggest you get something from my favorites page, like the Magic Wand Rechargeable, njoy Pure Wand, anything from Vixen (I love Mustang and Buck), We-Vibe Rave, BJ blowjob dildo, Comet II Wand, NobEssence Romp, njoy Pure Plug, Vibratex Mystic Wand, We-Vibe Touch, Liberator Throe, and/or Joque. Don’t like my suggestions? They have a bunch o’ gift guides.
LELO’s offering deep discounts on many of their toys Thursday, November 24th through Tuesday, November 29th. Everyone gets free shipping, even international orders, and if you spend over $99 you’ll get free LELO lube using code PIPHLELOBF.
I’ve compiled my favorite products of theirs on this page so you can just shop from there, because my opinion is the only one that matters, obviously. Do you have a clitoris? You need the Mona 2 (here’s why, and here’s another reason why). I also love the Luna Beads (review here), Mia 2 (review here), and Siri 2 (review here). Also, if you’ve been wanting the astronomically expensive but rumored to be awesome Hugo prostate vibrator, it’s $164.25.
BEST FOR: smaller orders, plus a free massage candle!
BEST FOR: gorgeous, limited edition glass dildos.
Do you, as I do, salivate at the idea of swanky yet functional glass dildos? Then you should pick up a beautimous Epiphora’s Exclusive Twist or Epiphora’s Exclusive Star Delight with glacier blue aqua Swarovski crystal (a color not currently used in any Crystal Delights toys)! These are two of my all-time favorite dildos.
Get 20% on either or both with code PIPH16, and then pop in the coupon code EPIPHORA to get an additional $9.95 off, ’cause why not?!
This sale runs Thursday, November 24th through Tuesday, November 29th.
BEST FOR: breathtaking wooden sex toys in the wood of your choice.
Um, yes, this is an obscenely good sale: 25% off everything at NobEssence, including gift certificates, November 24th through 30th. I feel like NobEssence sometimes gets lost among the vibrating whirligigs, but their toys are fucking incredible. It cannot be overstated: the Seduction is one of my top 3 G-spot toys, and the Romp is one of my top 3 butt plugs. (Also, I hunger for the Tryst and envy anyone who has one.)
BEST FOR: a very good deal on the We-Vibe couples’ toy.
BEST FOR: people who just want some lube, damnit, without having to buy other junk!
Sliquid is my favorite lube ever. Black Friday through Cyber Monday, get a grand total of 30% off all orders at Sliquid and Ride Lube with code EPIPHORA. (Their sale is 20% off, my code takes off an additional 10%.) That means bottles of my faves H2O and Sassy are just over $8 each!
BEST FOR: good-hearted folks wanting to support one of the most progressive indie sex shops around, especially for purchases of the Eroscillator, Hole Punch Toys, Vixen Creations, Pure Plugs, Liberator Throe, and Magic Wand Rechargeable.
I heart Smitten Kitten in unnatural ways. Cyber Monday only, get 20% off everything on their site with code CYBERMONDAY2016! My picks are chronicled here, but let me reiterate: it’s really important that you order their special reusable “This Bag is Full of Sex Toys” bag. Also, the Eroscillator is only $88 with discount?!
Smitten Kitten also carries Hole Punch Toys and other small manufacturers such as Fuze, BS Atelier, Happy Valley, and New York Toy Collective. Feminist to the core, Smitten Kitten’s fierce commitment to accessibility is evidenced by their gender expression section, range of inexpensive toys, and selection of products for all bodies and abilities.
There’s a tiered sale going on at one of my newest affiliates, Peepshow Toys, from Thursday, November 24th through Monday, November 28th — up to 25% off your entire purchase!
- 15% off orders over $75 at Peepshow Toys with code FIVEDAY15
- 20% off orders over $100 at Peepshow Toys with code FIVEDAY20
- 25% off orders over $150 at Peepshow Toys with code FIVEDAY25
I’m really into Peepshow’s curated selection; they stock a lot of my favorite things including my two favorite Hitachi attachments, the L’Amourose Prism V, the LELO Ella, Leaf Life, and the NobEssence Seduction and Romp.
BEST FOR: kinky toys, electrostim toys like the Neon Wand, and other bondage gear.
Starting November 25th, get up to 70% off in Stockroom’s Black and Blue sale! Plus, use the discount code CYBERTHANKS at checkout and receive an additional 15% off your purchase! This site still has the now-discontinued Jopen Key Comet G Wand, and with 15% off it’s only $53.50. The awesome estim Neon Wand is only $83, and various electrodes are also on sale!
Stockroom is also running a Spanksgiving sale on impact toys through November 30th.
BEST FOR: wax play and rope!
Twisted Monk, the most trusted name in bondage rope, just released their new Curiosity Candles. I was lucky enough to beta-test them and I fell IN LOVE. Drip them on me forever, plz. Now through November 24th, buy 3 or more candles and get a free copy of the Toybag Guide to Wax Play using code WAXPLAY.
Candles are just the tip of the iceberg at Twisted Monk, though! They also make classic hemp rope, as well as exotic ropes such as bamboo, silk, cotton, SPARKLE, and electro-conductive. Their site is a wonderland of rope kits, accessories, and educational materials. Not interested in candles but want to order something? Get free domestic shipping with code HEYEPIPHORA.
BEST FOR: snagging the masturbation sleeve of your dreams.
Get up to 40% off at Fleshlight! With 25% off Fleshlight-branded items (which is most of them), 15% off sitewide, and up to 40% off select combo packs, this is the best place for snagging the sleeve of your dreams. Plus:
- Spend $100 and get a free holiday gift and free shipping
- Spend $150 and get a free mystery Fleshlight sleeve, free holiday gift, and free shipping
- Spend $200 and get a free surprise pleasure pack, free mystery sleeve, free holiday gift, and free shipping
BEST FOR: a huge discount on an innovative penis toy.
As the company makes way for a new generation of their toy, you save! Get a whopping 60% off the Pulse II Solo and Duo with coupon code BFHE60 from Friday, November 25th through Monday, November 28th (UK time).
BEST FOR: Jimmyjane toys specifically.
BEST FOR: porn mongers!
Get 15% off any membership to queer porn empire CrashPadSeries.com (the best deal they ever offer!) with code EPIPHORA now through Wednesday, November 30th! Arguably one of the greatest queer porn sites on the internet, Crash Pad documents hotties of all flavors sexing it up in beautifully-shot harmony. It will make you wanna masturbate.
Support your favorite sex workers this holiday season! I’m biased, but my fave sex worker is my girlfriend Zander Storm. They are having a mega sale on their videos all weekend! “Cumming on the Couch” and “Soaking Wet Panty Play” are my picks, but the sounds in “Cum on My Pussy JOI” are spectacular.
BEST FOR: budding bloggers needing a kick in the pants to start that blog.
My awesome sex-positive host, HostGator, is offering 65% off all new hosting packages from Friday, November 25th through Tuesday, November 29th at 11:59pm CST. They’re also offering select domains for just $5.99. Why should you go with them for hosting? I shall tell you.
From Friday, November 25th to Monday, November 29th, there will also be select flash sales featuring 75% off all new hosting packages and $2.99 on select domains.
BEST FOR: your non-sex toy purchases, because you love me.
Be the coolest sex toy fanatic on the block with your very own lube dispenser (my review), over-the-door sex toy organizer, USB charging station, or plastic storage cart, and masturbate in the lap of luxury this winter with a space heater.
Or, other products I love that you should get (for yourself or as gifts): an Oontz bluetooth speaker, a sturdy-ass Camelbak water bottle, THE BEST EVER WINE OPENER, my favorite game, a Kindle, a sadly very useful cat litter dash button, socks that somehow never stink (?! it’s a MYSTERY), a handy spice rack, and my fave nail polish top coat. If you’re looking for a gift for a hard-to-buy-for dad, might I suggest this boring yet incredibly useful car battery that has managed to saved my ass on several occasions? Also, one time I got my republican grandpa this toilet paper with $100 bills on it and it was a riot.