Being the bigwigs that they are, Jopen (owned by California Exotics) capitalized on the success and quickly churned out another: the Jopen Key Comet II Wand. A rechargeable, vibrating version. The only design in the Key line to get a second generation. GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT.
Luckily for everyone, the Comet II is simultaneously a worthwhile choice for those who’ve yet to own a Comet Wand but not a necessary purchase for those who already do. And hey, I’ll take the opportunity to rave like a lunatic about this toy all over again.Because every time I use either of them, my G-spot loses its fucking mind right along with me.
Design changes between the Comets were kept to such a minimum that I had to keep editing the word “slightly” out of this paragraph. The two toys are nearly the same dimensions, but the Comet II is about 1/4 inch thinner where the silicone meets the handle. The silicone on the Comet II is greener and silkier, with a tiny bit more squish on the head. Speaking of the head, it’s slightly (oops) more pronounced on the II — there’s a deeper dip under it.
The Comet II has disposal markings1 on the back along with the two charging magnets (it charges via USB cord), but they can hardly be felt with a finger, much less my vagina. It comes with a crinkly black satin bag, but I don’t recommend storing it (or anything else) in there because my Comet II has developed2 some very faint dark staining on the silicone.
Because the new Comet is made with plastic instead of glass, it’s only 6.4 ounces in comparison to the original’s 9.2 — a difference of 2.8 ounces (or the weight of a can of french fried onions). This discrepancy is not as noticeable as you’d think. I like the glass handle on the original, which clinks under my fingernails like a piece of fine glassware, but my nuanced vagina can hardly feel the weight difference.
Finally, the silver Key emblem on the handle is now a button which revs up the beast. I was concerned this button would be too easy to press, resulting in jarring unwanted vibrations. But thankfully, it must be held for a good second to turn it on, and I never accidentally do that. HOWEVER! I hold it with my left hand. If you do the opposite, it’s possible your thumb might rest against the button.
The vibrations are strong but verybuzzy, and there’s only one steady setting followed by six patterns. I feel favorably toward the very fast pulse, the low-then-high steady, and the one that’s trying to send the number 7 in morse code to my G-spot.
I’d never use this as a clitoral vibe; the shape is not made for that. And these vibrations have no subtlety — years ago I would have scoffed at the idea of them stirring pleasure in my G-spot. But I’m liking internal vibration more and more, when I’m in the right mood and have a strong clitoral vibe to pair with it. It adds an extra jolt that makes me sit up straighter, and I even like the strong phantom sensation of needing to pee that the vibrations cause.
But for many it could be overwhelming. What the Comet II needs most are lower steady vibration settings and rumblier vibrations. I’m only letting it get away with vibrations this buzzy and unrelenting because it is amazing even with the vibrations turned off. Sometimes more so.
Which, yeah. Let me reiterate. THE SHAPE IS INCREDIBLE. Seriously, I never want to remove this toy from my vagina. I kept having to go back and forth to test both Comets, yet still I’d procrastinate on removing one from my vag to insert the other. I literally did not want to go a few seconds without one inside of me.
And that extra bit of a dip under the head of the Comet II? It makes the G-spot stimulation even more acute. You are lucky you don’t have to watch me using this toy. I do such harsh things with it, like I’m trying to scoop my G-spot out of myself with all of my might. But it causes some of the most profound, unforgiving G-spot stimulation I’ve ever experienced.
I don’t advise buying the Comet II if you already have the first one, because most of the differences are minor. The vibrations can be an intense addition, but they are not the toy’s forte. The shape is.
If you’re deciding between the two versions, though? The original Comet is $75. The Comet II is $80. Yes, it literally takes that five dollar bill you were saving for a footlong sub to get vibrations. This laughable non-difference in price makes my job here much easier: get the Comet II if you don’t have one already. Just do it. I’m serious. Do it for the sake of your G-spot.
What the fuck else do I call them? The trash can with an X through it and shit. [↩]
I think, although I can’t be 100% sure it wasn’t there when I first opened it… [↩]
Dude, you’ll never guess what I found in the warehouse. A GREEN MUSTANG!! It had rolled underneath a low shelf, we don’t even have them on the site anymore. It must be the last living one — wanna do a giveaway?
If I do nothing else in my life, at least I can be the person who gives away rare dildos in a color that may never happen again in our lifetimes. The Mustang is one of my all-time favorites: its squishy dual-density silicone stimulates my G-spot and vaginal walls with ease, and its size is perfect for all occasions.
As always, you can choose to rack up as many entry points as you’d like depending on which social media channels you’re most willing to share your love of dildos on. The only mandatory entry is subscribing to my RSS feed, either in a reader or via email. I have two new Google+pages I’m trying to promote, so that entry technique is more heavily weighted. Otherwise, it’s business as usual.
This giveaway is open to entrants in the U.S. and Canada.
Deadline: April 25, 2014 at 11:59 pm PST.
It occurred to me, 30 minutes after my interview with Tristan Taormino for Sex Out Loud Radio aired today (and I was finally able to breathe again), that perhaps I should compile a list of links to all the stuff I mentioned on the show. My brain is not used to talking about stuff without using links for context! Such a millennial.
So first, download the episode or stream it right here, and follow along below with the relevant links. Then, leave me a comment with your thoughts on the show. Any glaring omissions? Want to berate me for not having had anal sex yet (POSER, RIGHT)? Go right ahead!
The toy that got a mean nickname on Twitter: Revel Body
Being a niche blog, and one dedicated to something that a percentage of inhabitants of earth refuse to even talk about, I’ve spent years growing relationships with companies in the adult industry alone. But a few months back, one of my friends suggested reaching out to more “mainstream” places, like those who make my favorite non-dildo products. The idea sounded just crazy enough that it might work.
Heaps and heaps of emails and wishful thinking later, I’m happy (and surprised) to report that five companies have agreed to sponsor me and the orifices/appendages that are not my genitals. These things can’t give me orgasms, but they will make my life easier, more delicious, and perhaps even more productive.
I plow through creamer like it’s water, and have ever since I was born I started drinking coffee roughly 13 years ago. My morning begins with coffee doused with creamer — OR ELSE. Finally, a company has agreed to indulge my shameless addiction. International Delight makes my favorite creamer flavor of all time, Caramel Macchiato. I’ve had flings with others, like Coffeemate’s Cinnamon Vanilla Creme, but I distinctly remember the first time I tried I.D. Caramel Macchiato. LIFE CHANGING.
With International Delight’s sponsorship, I’ll be getting a delivery of fresh creamer each week, and I’ll be able to sample all the new and strange flavors without risking my wallet. Which is a relief, because I am petrified of mocha-flavored ones and anything that is meant to mimic cream cheese. (You’d think that’d be obvious, but then Cinnabon happened.)
As a sweet bonus, they’re also sending me a lifetime supply of these, so I’ll never have to endure plain cream and sugar at a breakfast establishment ever again.
I’ve been wearing Converse since I was a teenager and discovered this thing called “writing lyrics on the rubber of your shoes to make yourself look deep.” Also, I’m lazy, and if I know my size and can order something online, I will do so. So, even when I’m supposed to be professional, I wear Converse. I have several pairs, including some gorgeous gold sparkle ones I found on eBay. And now… now, they let me design my own Epiphora-themed pair, and they are GLORIOUS:
The people at Converse have been nice, although a bit aloof and clueless. They sent me several pairs of high-tops despite my expressed distaste for those, as well as a USB drive full of modern music that they dubbed the “Chuck Taylor Brand Emissary Playlist.” I replied that instead of free music, I’d prefer that they cover the medical bill for my future flat foot problems. They were not amused.
Fish Eye Winery
Coming in a close third to coffee and water, wine also keeps me alive. For years I avoided it, sucking up pineapple rum instead — but when I began losing weight, I switched to wine. Usually white. Usually chardonnay, but I’m not picky or discerning. I still don’t love the taste of it (although mixing orange juice into it for a “white trash mimosa” is pretty sweet), but it gets the job done. It is my drink of choice for porn watching get-togethers, Skype dates, meeting new people who may or may not murder me, Sybian-riding parties, yelling at the internet, and making politics bearable.
I like Fish Eye because it’s cheap as shit, readily available within a few blocks of my apartment, and it’s vegan, which is important because although I’m not vegan, some of my best friends are. The only awkward moment was when they asked me how many bottles I would like per month. Um…
Paper towels are the cornerstone of my sex blogging existence. I use them for so many things:
Thankfully, Bounty has ensured that I won’t endure these kinds of hardships ever again. They readily understood my plight and sent me so many paper towels I had to clear some space in my garage. “Let us know if you need us to replenish your stock,” they told me. I’m taking this as a challenge.
I’ll admit, my first choice for a meal sponsor was Panda Express, but they ignored all my emails. That’s okay; Taco Bell and I were destiny. Of all the companies in this post, they were the only ones to contact me first, via a Twitter DM which read: “Hi! Seen yr tweets about us. U definitely think outside the bun!! Wld love 2 sponsor u if ur interested. We can offer free food for u & ur friends. #blessed.” Um, yes. I’ve always been a fan of Taco Bell, as evidenced by my first ever tweet about them:
As per our agreement, I will be provided with a special card I can use freely at any Taco Bell location, not to exceed $300 per month. So everyone: Taco Bell feast at my place! And they are now serving breakfast, so I’ll be covered for all four meals of the day. Seriously can’t wait to scarf the Waffle Taco.
Here are the companies that either denied me or didn’t reply to me. No hard feelings, bro, but maybe you’ll reconsider when you see how influential I can be? If I can make someone throw out all their jelly toys, order a bunch of Sliquid, and have their first G-spot orgasm in just one week, think of what I could do to elevate your brand!
Sidenote: I am still looking for a pajama pant sponsor, but have yet to find a brand that lives up to my expectations of comfort. Contact me if you have any suggestions.
Acer.My whole life is divided between two gorgeous Acer monitors. I had begun dreaming of a four-monitor set-up and tried to make the guy at Acer understand my vision, but he shot me down: “we try to distance ourselves from the lascivious activities our products are truly used for.”
uni-ball. The Jetstream is my all-time favorite pen, but considering I’m writing this with a computer, they were not interested. “Contact us in the future if you decide to handwrite your blog on papyrus.”
Rockstar. Energy drinks are one of the only reasons I get anything done; in fact, you can thank Rockstar and bad music for the design of this site. My talks with Rockstar were moving along nicely, and I even sent them a list of my favorite drinks (Recovery Orange and Pure Zero Mango Orange Passionfruit, NO “COFFEE” STUFF OR I’LL SLIT YOUR THROAT), but when it came time to pay me, they replied, “wait, uh, what, you’re not a dude?” and ceased all correspondence.
CamelBak. I use their water bottles religiously because they’re the only ones I’ve found that don’t leak and can withstand being constantly knocked onto the floor by cats. Despite what I considered a gripping testimony of my allegiance to their brand, they denied me because my “lifestyle” is not “healthy” enough for them.
With my basic needs for coffee, wine, food, shoes, and paper towels taken care of, I’ll have a lot more time for sitting home masturbating and writing. This can only mean good things for this blog. So thank you, International Delight, Converse, Fish Eye Winery, Bounty, and Taco Bell! Y’all rock.
Peeps: when you’re as famous as me, who will you get to sponsor your life?
The boyfriend went to the convenience store for beer, and Survivor was downloading at a snails’ pace, so I whipped out my Mona 2 and had the quickest orgasm before he returned. Incredibly, the toy died literal seconds after my orgasm wore off. Fate?
Can I just take a moment to tell you about porn I’ve seen recently that was glorious and/or weird? Because holy shit, Belladonna Sexual Explorer. I’ve realized that I always love watching Sinn Sage. She was great in Strapped Dykes, she was great in No Warning 7, she was great in Sinn Sage Loves Girls, she’s great in this, and every time I see her, she is a beast.
Of course, I made the mistake of clicking on her Amazon wishlist only to be assaulted by a four-pack of 18″ purple jelly dongs. A FOUR-PACK. OF PURPLE JELLY DONGS. (Thankfully, it’s gone now and replaced with healthy cookbooks and face scrubbers.)
Also, because Belladonna is a boss, Dark Meat 5 with Dana DeArmond and Nat Turnher. Goddamn, this lighting just slaaaays me.
Moral of the story: stick with Belladonna and you’ll be fine. Sometimes you might be tempted to watch something else, maybe Kayden Exposedfor instance, at which point you’ll be greeted with Evan Stone rubbing a strawberry all over Tori Black’s vulva, and some camera guy in the “Behind the Scenes” petting a cat…
Sometime in this mess, I dug out some old toys to see how I felt about them present day. My verdicts:
I was flabbergasted to find my Fun Factory Delight still had a charge from god-knows-when. This toy definitely hits my G-spot now (unlike when I first got it in 2008), but it’s too buzzy and it prods my clit in a way that I do not like.
The Tantus Flurry is good but not exciting. Maybe not worth the calories, much like a McFlurry.
The Vixen Champlette is fine but I like my heads bigger.1 Would work well for pegging I bet.
I came with the Getaway Wild in me, but that means nothing. G-spot stimulation is a dime a dozen and that handle sucks.
October 1st, 2013
After 6 days orgasmless at Catalyst, I returned home and indulged in a long, deliciously tortuous jack-off session in bed (for once). The porn of choice was Trans Grrrls, particularly this scene which just killed me with hotness:
I used my new, updated Crave Duet and totally built it up like I normally don’t. Ahhhhh.
It was the night before Thanksgiving and I had to get to sleep, so I dragged my Mystic Wand into bed and laid on my stomach lazily humping it. A strange and different sensation — it reminded me of dry humping when I was 14 — followed by an odd but wonderful orgasm.
Orgasm number one came quickly — rocking the Echo against my G-spot with the Tango on my clit. Then I tried the Tango with the Little Secret sleeves, which was pretty rad. My boyfriend walked into the room and, dildo still hanging out of my vagina, I started talking to him. “Nice meat curtain,” he said. This is the point we have reached in our relationship.
More toys were used and more notes were taken on a paper towel, until the Tango started petering out and then died. I took this photo to brag about the glorious color variety in my sex toy collection. And to brag about my vag gunk.
December 27th, 2013
For one magical night, I was Howard Stern. Yeah, bitch, I broke in my Sybian properly, turning the dial while each of my friends rode — and yelled things like “I haaaaaaaate it.”
January 17th, 2014
SHOUT OUT TO THE DIVA CUP, which is so comfortable I almost forgot to take it out before masturbating. I can’t believe it took me 27 goddamn years to get one.
When all was said and done, I was disappointed that there were only a few globs of blood in the Ghost’s eye sockets. (There’s a reason I don’t write erotica, folks.)
February 21st, 2014
I’ve been known to lay out an optimistic number of sex toys before I jack off, but this spread represented a whole new level of delusion. So much delusion that I named it delusion.jpg.
The reason: I was leaving for a blogger retreat the following day, and I needed to solidify my thoughts about some toys so I could work on their reviews.
I won’t bore you with the details of my toy combinations or my level of satisfaction with my orgasms, I will just say that only in my life do I have four orgasms and still not feel as though I have done my duty. The Stronics, Comets, and G-Spoon remained untainted.
February 22-25, 2014
During the #dildoholiday, I did not masturbate per se. But at various points in the trip I:
It’s no secret that SheVibe is my favorite online sex shop. Launched in 2006, they are perhaps best known for their gorgeous, ever-changing comic-inspired art — but there’s even more awesomeness beneath the surface. Aside from the obviously good stuff like cheap US shipping, discreet billing, and award nominations, SheVibe goes above and beyond to provide a superior sex toy shopping experience.
The peeps at SheVibe are also highly suggestible — it is not uncommon for me to prod them to add a certain product, and they will do it without question. Maybe I’m just intimidating, but that is rad.
THOR: I think our biggest takeaway is to always remain open-minded. Many times products that we can’t imagine anyone buying end up selling like mad. Some people want a low cost vibe — even if it only holds up for one crazy weekend. We try to provide a selection that spans the experience levels as well as the adventurous nature of our clients.
SANDRA: We’ve worked really hard on this, realizing a long time ago that since sex toys are not a “one size fits all” item. We try to avoid repetitive products especially with the larger manufacturers. Our real joy comes from supporting the smaller, artisan vendors. It doesn’t always work out, but it’s so rewarding to give someone a shot and see their work & products catch on. We warehouse about 85% of our selection, sourcing the bulk items from a couple of trusted distributors who take really good care of us.
2. The prices customer service.
SheVibe’s prices are very good, and that is what initially drew me to their site years ago. I found out why when Sandra explained the history of the company. Now, SheVibe’s prices may not be jaw-dropping — but they are fair. Fair to the companies that make the toys, and fair to customers. What really sets them apart now is their dedication to incredible customer service.
SANDRA: This was a really hard business to break into and initially we were very focused on low, low prices. Back in the day when Google Shopping was friendly to adult businesses, it was an all-out war. We would set a price and then a “cookie cutter” site would undercut our price — the back and forth became insane.
Initially when the Google Shopping feature went away, we panicked a little, but then we realized that what we were doing had its own merit and value. We have a great, unique site, fantastic customer service and we do everything with the utmost integrity in mind — there was no need to “compete” with other sites. We have a pricing formula we use for the mass produced items and we adhere to MAP when the manufacturer requires it. If there are no pricing requirements, we set a fair price and that’s that.
Thankfully, a lot of the cookie cutters have disappeared and many manufacturers have regained control over their pricing so the playing field has become much more level.
THOR: I think things really caught fire for us when we stopped looking at what other online retailers were doing and just decided to pay attention to the needs of our customers. We set fair prices and then go above and beyond to make sure people get what they’ve paid for and what they’ve come to expect from SheVibe.
We answer customer inquiries every waking hour — literally. We’ve been known to handle customer inquiries on Christmas Day. What people want more than anything is to be taken care of and to be listened to. A great shopping experience, products that the retailer stands behind, relevant and accurate information and fast, reliable, inexpensive shipping. Cost is always a factor, but clients are willing to spend money that gives them incredible return on investment.
GURL, SheVibe’s sales are so good I’ve broken my own rule about not spamming people and written posts about them! They often have month-long sales as well as “flash sales” during the weekends, where you can get 10-30% off certain brands and products.
SANDRA: This is a relatively new thing for us — just in the past few years. When all of our prices were low we couldn’t afford to offer sales. Believe it or not, this didn’t play as well with the customer. Consumers are suspicious of super low pricing (as they should be). It’s never good to undervalue a product — and sometimes that product is your business. You have to build the cost of daily operations into your pricing otherwise it becomes much more difficult to do the right thing by the customer when something goes wrong.
When considering what products to put on sale, we try to mix it up a bit. We include sought after items that are usually offered at a higher price point (as long as there is no MAP requirement), as well as passing along whatever savings our distributors may be offering that month.
SheVibe is run by Alex (artist), Thor (webmaster), Sandra (day-to-day operations and written content), and Keith (page design). I met them all at my first ever Catalyst, where Sandra bought me a cranberry vodka, completely unprompted, during the opening keynote. As if I needed more reasons to love her.
You can find the crew on social media — Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Facebook — where they are always posting fun and silly things. They work together like a well-oiled machine — and had a lot of nice things to say about each other! This is the highly truncated version…
SANDRA: This is my favorite thing to talk about; US! Ha-ha. Thor and I conceived the business around 2004. We knew we wanted to appeal to female energies and our first concept was along the lines of a goddess theme. One day while we were working on our logo, it hit us: superheroes! The whole genre had really begun to take hold in Hollywood and we felt the world could use some intelligent, powerful, sexually self-possessed females. That was it, we just knew it.
Literally within a week, Alex and Keith were dropped into our laps by the Universe and the four of us immediately jelled. It’s been an amazing working relationship ever since.
ALEX: A friend of ours who worked for Thor in his prior business said he was looking for an artist and a graphic designer. Keith and I looked at each other and said, “Hey that’s us!” We met with Thor and Sandy and hit it off right from the get go.
SANDRA: Alex is an amazing artist, I feel so privileged to witness the entire process, to be able to describe something to him and see him make it come to life. Keith is not only an extremely talented graphic designer with an insane knowledge of every font & effect you can imagine, he is also freakin’ hilarious and can pretty much accurately imitate anyone within seconds of meeting them. Thor is an incredible code writer, it’s a language he inherently understands. He is completely self-taught which impresses the hell out of me.
THOR: Full disclosure: Sandra is my wife, so I’ve got some bias — but this woman is a whirlwind. She’s a wordsmith and has given SheVibe its virtual voice from day one. She’s also the operational juggernaut at our warehouse in upstate New York, establishing protocol and procedures to organize all levels of our business. More important than this, she’s our number one people person. Plus she’s really hot and curvy — so there’s that too.
KEITH: Like the classic 80′s cartoon Voltron, each of us come together to form the killer robot we call “SheVibe”. Sandra forms the head! Besides being the voice of SheVibe, Sandra takes on everything from customer service to purchasing — and every space in between. Alex & Keith form the arms! Alex’s talent explodes on every page, filling them with sexy imagery and hilarious comics that span every product category. I bring it all together with vast technical knowledge and graphic prowess to create a beautiful website. Thor forms the legs! The foundation that we all stand on that allows us to blossom into the bad ass website we are.
5. The art.
There’s no denying you’re shopping at SheVibe — everywhere you turn, there is eye-popping art. It’s kind of like finding easter eggs all over the site — I discovered the glorious anal health comic while writing this. Artist Alex is basically a prodigy; sometimes you get a box in the mail and he has drawn all over it, like it’s no big thang.
ALEX: It’s a collaborative thing that we do when it comes to the art. When we go into our process of creating concepts, it’s really a sight to be seen. The creative juices flow when we’re all sitting around brainstorming ideas until all four of us yell “That’s the one!” Then it’s off to the drawing table I go, hoping that I can get the idea fleshed out on paper.
SANDRA: I kind of feel like we’re always baking some crazy cake; we all throw in different ingredients and mix it up, Alex bakes it and Keith frosts it — the recipe is different every time, but every time it is delicious.
THOR: Alex is one of the hardest working guys I know — he’ll sketch and conceptualize all day and hammer out image sets all night without flinching. Keith is a creative whiz kid with Photoshop and all things Mac. SheVibe covers are great when they land on his desk, but Keith adds the awesome to what you’ll eventually see throughout our site and on each month’s home page.
And finally, for shits and giggles…
I asked the SheVibe crew if they had any funny stories to share. Often this kind of question gets a bland, non-committal answer, but damn, not this time!
ALEX: Oh dear lord! One adventure I remember early on in our partnership was when we all went on a St. Paddy’s Day pub crawl and wound up at some crusty Legion Hall. We grabbed a table to chill out for a bit and we started to BS about business. Well, next to us were a group of senior citizens and they couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They started to chime in with their opinions and questions and observations about porn. Pre-World War II seniors postulating about the nature of lesbian sex — some of the stuff they said was just crazy! We can’t repeat it here — but it gave us material to laugh about for weeks.
KEITH: Holy crap, where do I begin? We rented a warehouse in the beginning that had no postal service. Seriously — no drop off, no pick up. The crazy thing is that we could see the stupid post office from our back door. Each day involved us running bins and bins of packages to a post office which was miles away ‘cuz the one across the parking lot was too small… even for a drop off! A question we will ask every landlord until the end of time: “Um, does the post office know you’re here?”
We also had a break-in at this same warehouse which was super crazy. We were located right behind a Sprint store which was the actual target. This cat burglar broke into the vacant space next door and cut a hole in the wall, but where he entered was actually the SheVibe warehouse and he had to burrow past hundreds of Vixen dildos to gain entry. Can you imagine? He went up the wall making 3 more holes until he finally got into the Sprint space, but not before he went through all of our inventory. I guess dildos don’t have much street value.
THOR: Pretty much every day at the office is a crazy amalgam of sexual imagery and silliness. We’re all Seinfeld fans and constantly work our favorite scenes and characters into our already comical occupations. Picture George Costanza measuring dildos for spec accuracy or Kramer discussing lubricant viscosity. If we had our way, we’d answer the phones in character but that probably wouldn’t play too well.
All you have to do is follow us on Facebook or Twitter to get a feel for some of the things that go on in our offices — see the infamous Dildo Dynasty pic or check out philosophical discussions regarding charbroiled flavor lube with temporary tattoo grill marks to get a feel for the hilarity.
Now it’s your turn, peeps: what do you like best about SheVibe? What’s your shopping experience been like with them?
Itching to order something RIGHT NOW? Check out my landing page for all the things I recommend — and this really is almost everything on earth that I recommend, because their selection is so ace.
The Gigi used to be one of LELO’s flagship toys. A true fan favorite. The kind of toy people would keep on their wishlists for years, save up for, tell all their Tumblr friends to buy. But I am officially revoking that honor; I’m using the past tense. The Gigi has not kept up with the times.
I tried the first Gigi in 2009, back when I was still wowed by rechargeable toys and slick packaging. It was “elegant,” I conceded, but I was disturbed by the high-pitched whine it emitted — and disappointed by how short it was. Although my vagina had yet to become a black hole, I still found it too petite.
When rumblings about a Gigi 2 started surfacing, I was thrilled. Surely, in its second generation, this promising toy would be given the power boost it needed to compete with LELO’s best, the Mona 2. Surely, they would lengthen the shaft and update the cramped control pad. This was exactly what Gigi needed! MAKEOVER TIME!!!
But none of it was to be. The only significant improvements are that the Gigi 2 is fully waterproof, has no high-pitched whine (I’m not ashamed to admit I said “oh, oh yes” when I turned it on), and has 8 vibration patterns instead of the original 4. It comes in four colors, including a vibrant turquoise and a lovely steely grey. Oh, and it’s made with “softer silicone,” which translates to a silicone that is just as rigid, but doesn’t smudge.
And that’s… it. Nothing about the design of the Gigi has changed. This toy is still diminutive, with less than 4″ of insertable length (at least before my vag is greeted by the ribbon of silver), and 1.27″ in diameter at its widest. The buttons are still frustratingly close together, even for my tiny thumbs, resulting in a lot of inaccurate presses.
LELO claims Gigi 2 has 100% more power than the first generation. But I definitely spent 5 minutes of my life with both my Gigis on high, switching quickly between them on my clit, ignoring the porn, and wholly unable to discern if there was a difference.
Finally I called my boyfriend into the room to resurrect the blind vagina clit test. After much back and forth with my eyes closed and my clit on high alert, I tentatively chose a winner. Then I opened my eyes.
I was wrong. I had chosen the old Gigi as the one that was marginally stronger, if at all.
Internally, the Gigi does what it does best: it is a delicious G-spotter. That shape, as we’ve found, is just what the G-spot ordered. Even for as small as it is, it definitely hooks up in there and strokes my G-spot into oblivion. And now that I like vibrations on my G-spot, I can appreciate them.
But this thing is so short, I’m lucky if I can find an inch of dry plastic to grasp at the base. Prepare to become acquainted with your bodily juices.
And there’s another problem: a friend gifted me the battery-operated, similarly-shaped PicoBong Moka, and no joke, it is BETTER THAN THE GIGI. The vibrations have less depth, but they are stronger. The Moka has the precious extra inches that the Gigi lacks, even if its buttons are in a dumb location. And uh… you’re looking at $47 instead of $119. A difference of $72. LELO has been upstaged by their own child company.
And so, an opportunity for true improvement of a classic toy was missed completely. Gigi 2 suffers from the same downfalls as the Gigi of yore. The price is no longer justifiable. The legendary shape can be found elsewhere, for less money, while another has taken the throne. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Have a question for me? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com.
Welcome to a special edition of Ask Piph focused solely on the legendary njoy Pure Wand! If you somehow haven’t heard of the Pure Wand, it is a solid, double-ended piece of stainless steel that many (including myself) regard as the G-spot’s/prostate’s savior. I get a lot of questions about it, so I decided to compile them all in one place.
I’m buying a Pure Wand to use on myself (as a guy) but also with partners. I was wondering what tips you could give me on how best to use the toy after I’ve spoken to my partners about it. What sort of motion is best with the Pure Wand, a thrusty one or just a constant pressure on the G-spot?
I don’t use penetrative toys with my boyfriend often, but the Pure Wand is one of few insertable toys that I am happy to have him use on me because it is pretty foolproof. The worst you can do is poke someone’s cervix, which is true with any toy, but with the Pure Wand, a lot of the angling is done for you (which I find to be the most frustrating thing about partner toy use). However, it is heavier than most toys, so be prepared for an arm workout.
Without stating the obvious too much, every person is going to be different. I imagine some people like a constant pressure, while others prefer a soft rocking motion, and others crave a swift thrusting. I personally like a pretty short thrusting motion, just back and forth, where the user’s hand moves parallel to the bed. It might be worthwhile to watch someporn in which people use the Pure Wand on themselves and each other.
But your best bet is to have your subject try the toy on their own, then show you how they thrust. Watch closely, give it a shot, and communicate during. It’s definitely an odd toy to handle at first, but you’ll get the hang of it.
Am I the only one who has not gotten off with the njoy Pure Wand? I’ve used it a few times, and it just doesn’t do anything for me. There doesn’t seem to be any magic sweet spot that it hits and I feel like I’m being probed by an indifferent robot. Either I am suffering from a serious personal deficiency (no G-spot?) or I need inside access to the Pure Wand Guide for Dummies. Please tell me I’m not the only one who doesn’t love the damned thing?
You’re not the only one. Lorax and Adriana aren’t fans either. But with that said, I’m inclined to think that more practice is needed.
Everyone with a vagina has a G-spot (it’s a part of the body also known as the urethral sponge), so it’s not that. But are you warming yourself up before using it? The G-spot responds better when you are already turned on. Are you using something clitorally while you use the Pure Wand? G-spot stimulation is greatly enhanced by simultaneous clitoral stimulation. Have you peed and removed all distractions? Make sure you are REALLY aroused and relaxed before picking up the Pure Wand. Without that, all the positions and movements may make no difference. Although, of course, you should try a variety of movements and positions as well.
DO NOT GIVE UP. I have faith that you can succeed with the Pure Wand. In fact, I gave this exact advice to one reader in your same boat, and days later she wrote back, “Thank you thank you thank you. Everyone with a vagina needs a Pure Wand.” Her secret? Staying in a hotel room away from the kids and having her partner use the Pure Wand on her during oral.
I truly love my Pure Wand, but it has never made me squirt. I definitely know where my G-spot is and can touch it with my fingers, and I swear I’ve watched every squirting technique video and have read every piece of literature on female ejaculation, but even the Pure Wand does not make it happen. Seriously — what am I doing wrong?
A few things I would suggest, if you aren’t doing them already: put a towel or Liberator Throe under you, and pee beforehand so you don’t have any lingering worries about making a mess. Take your time getting turned on: use a warm-up toy on your G-spot before using the Pure Wand, along with a clitoral vibe.
Then, with lots o’ lube, insert the Pure Wand and gently rock it back in forth inside of you. Keep using the clitoral vibe if that feels good. When you’re ready, put your game face on and thrust like a mofo. In my experience, you have to thrust like a mofo to squirt. Try to relax as much as possible and keep your vaginal muscles open, not clenched. Increase your thrusting speed until the need-to-pee sensation creeps up, then becomes overwhelming. Then THRUST SOME MORE. If you feel a release on the horizon, push out with your muscles. Hopefully, hopefully, you will squirt.
I’m a G-spot beginner (as in, I’m not even entirely sure I’ve pinpointed it). Would investing in a Pure Wand be a good idea, or should I wait until I’m better, er, acquainted with my G-spot?
Part of me is screaming yes, but the other part wonders if you should try something less extreme first. I took a poll on Twitter (always the most accurate) and peeps were pretty evenly split. There are two schools of thought when it comes to this question.
@Epiphora YES! It was my very first G-spot toy, and I didn't even know what my G-spot could do before the Pure Wand!
The first school is that you should absolutely get the Pure Wand because it’s one of the best G-spotters money can buy. It has been proven to work for a great many people, including folks who previously didn’t know where their G-spots were. It is likely to pinpoint your G-spot faster than most other toys, and its shape does much of the work for you. It has a smaller end, so you don’t have to use the big bulb to begin with. Also, it will spoil you in the best possible way.
@Epiphora I will have to say no. Pure Wand was one of the first toy I got and the weight + size was a bit scary at first.
But, for some, the size, shape, and weight of the Pure Wand can be intimidating and overwhelming, and if it turns out that you don’t like G-spot stimulation, there is no back-up usage for the Pure Wand (except as a weapon, of course).
In my opinion? If you want to go for the G-spot gold, are not terrified by the thought of a chunk of stainless steel entering you, and have the money, go for it. Get the Pure Wand. Just make sure you pair it with a good clitoral vibe, like the LELO Mona 2, Eroscillator, Vibratex Mystic Wand, or We-Vibe Touch.
Yes! I was not kidding when I called these three toys my trifecta of G-spotters. I find it very difficult to choose between them, and if I want to pound my G-spot into oblivion, it really just depends on which material I’m in the mood for.
Here’s what it comes down to: it’s easier to squirt with the Pure Wand, it’s easier to wield the wooden Seduction (so lightweight!), and the G-spot stimulation is most intense with the Comet G Wand. I find the G-spot stimulation more intense with less movement with the Seduction and Comet, while the Pure Wand definitely has to be thrusted in order to feel all of its glory. But because of its stainless steel, it glides the most effortlessly. The Comet drags the most, requiring the most lube.
Basically, all are amazing, and you won’t regret any of them. And if you’re wondering if you should own all of them or if that would be redundant — you should own them all. Eventually.