The Wahl is easily lost in the shuffle — usually only mentioned in the same breath as the Hitachi as another once-innocent body massager that has been perverted. But the Hitachi has been more universally perverted, so the Wahl tends to be forgotten. Now that I have tried the Wahl, I feel that this is a great [...]

Randy Field Diary, Day #1 — Arrival My pussy is not ready for the brown beast they classify as “Randy.” I’m quite sure of this, pulling its plastic storage tube from the packing peanuts. I don’t own any specimens that even come close to Randy’s girth of 2 3/16″ in diameter. Even with a frugal [...]

You know those butt-ugly animals, like hairless cats and shivery Chinese Cresteds, that instinctively disgust you — until you fall in love with one, and then you want to bitch out anyone who dares judge your snookum-wookum on its external appearance? That’s how I’ve become, very quickly, with the Eroscillator. It is my darling, my [...]

My boyfriend is probably the only dude on the planet who, upon hearing the question “do you want a Fleshlight?”, responded with a shrug. But it’s not the Fleshlight’s fault he felt this way; based on past experiences, he was convinced no masturbation sleeve would ever wow him. But let me put it this way: [...]

The S-shaped NobEssence Seduction looks more like a beautiful decorative sculpture than a dildo. Made of Purpleheart wood and sealed with NobEssence’s signature Lubrosity coating, it is elegance incarnate. But not just aesthetically; I quickly realized that it also felt elegant while in use. As in, up my cooch. Um. See. The Seduction is incredibly lovely [...]

Accustomed as I am to receiving beautiful and high-quality sex toys in the mail, I usually do not feel my heart pounding when I open a new toy. When I opened the NobEssence Romp, however, I could feel my throat tightening and my heart beating faster. I quickly removed the toy from its nice box [...]

A while back, after I learned to squirt, I pleaded for someone, anyone, to buy me a Liberator Fascinator Throe. My juices were soaking through the towels I put down, through the comforter, onto the bed sheets. I was frantic, wanting to explore the world of squirting but not wanting to have to wash the [...]

My history with butt plugs has not been especially eventful, nor has it been particularly blissful. My first plug was the adorably sparkly Buddy, which, while well-meaning, would not stay in my ass. Next was a vibrating butt plug that was tiny enough to feel nice, but was attached to a cord. Then I was [...]