[But what about the Mona Wave, you ask? It’s a half-assed imposter.] I don’t know if you’ve heard: I love my LELO Mona 2. So much that I yell things like “THE MONA IS WHAT GOD WANTS TO BE WHEN HE GROWS UP” when I’m drunk. So much that I have nightmares about LELO changing it. So . . .
Bloggers created a wave of hysteria following the release of the Jopen Key Comet G Wand. “It effortlessly strokes the fuck out of my G-spot and makes me thank my lucky stars I was born with a vagina,” Girly Juice raved. “I was 38 years old and found my G-spot for the first time in . . .
For years, literally, ever since I dubbed the Eroscillator “the best sex toy I’ve ever tried,” people have been asking me whether it’s worth the extra cash to get the Top Deluxe version of the toy. I’ve always had to say “I don’t know; mine is the more powerful one and I’ve never tried the regular . . .
[Wondering what I think of the vibrating, second generation Comet II? It is ALSO AWESOME.] It’s only February, and the Jopen Key Comet G Wand has a very good chance of being the best sex toy I try all year. I am, I must say, flabbergasted. I mean, this is Jopen we’re talking about. Jopen, creators of the what-the-fuck that . . .
The Tantus Splash looks like it’s in the midst of being slimed. And if it were a celeb at a Nickelodeon awards show, it’d be grinning and taking it like a champ. Because life is good for the Splash. It is a dildo that stands out aesthetically, but also succeeds internally. It doesn’t have to worry . . .
[How much do I love the Mona 2? So much that I now have BACK-UP MONAS. But what about the Mona Wave? It’s a half-assed imposter.] It’s kind of ridiculous how much I like my LELO Mona 2. Fuck it, love. It just feels weird to say that because the Mona is such a simple . . .
I could’ve written a review for the njoy Pure Plugs before ever putting a single one in my ass. Of course, I would never do such a thing. And sometimes, my hunches about toys are way off. But in this instance, I’d like to gloat about the fact that I was totally and completely spot . . .
[Eeee! This incredible dildo comes in neon pink and tie dye in addition to the skin tones!] Oh my god. This thing. You guys. This thing. It is SO GLORIOUS. It’s been nearly a year and a half since I fell in deep love with dual-density VixSkin, but not once in that time have I . . .
The Vibratex Mystic Wand is a damn good sex toy. No caveats, no horror stories. It just gets things right. Replace the entire text of this review with “IT RULES,” and that would sum up my feelings about the Mystic Wand. Where so many other toys fail, the Mystic Wand succeeds. Batteries are a breeze . . .