wands

Wands are a type of sex toy characterized by their large heads and sheer power. My favorite is the Magic Wand Rechargeable, but I also like the Doxy.

Ask Piph #9

Ask Piph #9

Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. Can you squirt with something inside you or do you have to pull it out? In most instances, with most toys, the toy has to be pulled out at the exact right moment, after which the squirt follows. This is especially true with larger toys, or when it’s more of an accidental squirt during a clitoral orgasm — where I’m using a clitoral vibe and stimulating my G-spot, but not trying to ejaculate. There’s a build up of pressure and it feels like removing the dildo is the only way to release it. However, things are different when I’m on a serious squirt mission. . . . read more

Review: Doxy Massager (Die Cast) and The Don

Review: Doxy Massager (Die Cast) and The Don

Doxy Don (left) and Doxy Die Cast with Nuzzle Tip attachment (right). Put it on my clit. Now. That’s what ran through my head the first time I held the Doxy Don, standing in the hallway at a conference with it reverberating in my hands. I’d never seen or heard about the product in my life, but in a split second I wished it upon my genitals. Although I often make snap judgments about toys, they’re usually negative ones based on stomach-turningly buzzy vibrations. This was the opposite: the vibrations were so deliciously rumbly, so promising. I’d never tried a toy from Doxy before, and I knew The Don had to be my first. But I couldn’t rightfully review only The Don, considering Doxy’s reputation as manufacturers of the much-loved Doxy Massager. Somehow, . . . read more

Jack-off Journal #20

Jack-off Journal #20

October 24, 2015 My secret shame: I am terrible at remembering to pack lube when I travel. And porn. On this #dildoholiday, I had to borrow my friend’s Good Clean Love, and I had to stream my porn because my laptop has nada. Luckily, I’d been given access to Fat Girl Fantasies, but I still had to suffer with small-town buffering. I watched two scenes: April Flores and Isiah Maxwell and James Darling and Cinnamon Maxxine. Both pretty scorching hot, but James and Cinnamon’s took the cake for two reasons: 1) James’ INTENSE, DEEPLY FOCUSED face as he makes Cinnamon squirt, and 2) the whimsical cat painting in the background. Mostly I used the Womanizer and dildos from Downunder Toys. Lost count of my orgasms: 4, maybe . . . read more

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable

IS THAT A CORDLESS HITACHI????? —everyone on earth whenever I post a photo of the Magic Wand Rechargeable Yes. Yes, it is. The time has come, my friends. The legendary Hitachi Magic Wand, widely regarded as the most powerful vibrator of all time, now comes in a rechargeable version. It can finally be there for you during power outages. While camping. On your porch. In your treehouse. On your top bunk. Or simply when you’re too damn lazy to get up and plug something in. (Me, all the time.) The world has been holding its breath, as have I, because there are many ways this new version could have gone terribly wrong. But release that breath. Let it out. Almost everything went right. This . . . read more

Review: Smart Wands (medium and large)

Review: Smart Wands (medium and large)

Unreliable. That’s the word I’d use to describe the LELO Smart Wands. Not an adjective you want applied to any vibrator, but especially not an expensive one in a category of toy which is relied upon for quick, effortless orgasms. These so-called “Smart” Wands… are pretty dumb. You can’t tell from that artsy-ass photo I took, but the medium Smart Wand is about half the size of the large one, at 9″ long and 1.7″ in diameter at the head, versus the large’s 12″ and 2.4″. The large comes in the most enormous LELO box I’ve ever seen. Both come with storage bags, but the medium gets the usual satin, while the large gets an odd neoprene that reminds me of knee pads. Because . . . read more

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Original

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Original

[Wondering how I feel about the rechargeable version of this toy? I LOVE IT.] I finally get the Hitachi. I am now old and my vulva is grizzled, and I have come to a place of understanding with the bumbling, imprecise beast that is the Hitachi Magic Wand. Perhaps that is how it was meant to be. But there should be laws forbidding newbie reviewers from trying it. I received my first one a mere month after launching my blog, and I ended my almost-entirely-useless review with, “I know eventually I will sing your praises just as everyone else has. I just need time.” Swayed, for sure, by the guise of sugarcoating, it was a sentence that, five years later — and . . . read more

Review: Mini Magic Wand

Review: Mini Magic Wand

You might stumble across the Lovehoney Mini Magic Wand while shopping for the legendary Mystic Wand and think to yourself, “oh! It’s 30% cheaper than the Mystic Wand and virtually the same! Nailed it!” But you would not, in fact, have nailed it. The second time I went to try the Mini Magic Wand, I actually said out loud, “oh, I have to use that fucking piece of shit again.” Nobody was in the room. Just a cat snoozing on my desk. The Mini Magic Wand takes four AAs, the same type and number as the Mystic Wand, yet it uses them for evil. Loud and obnoxious and incredibly buzzy evil. Also, the batteries must be inserted into a stupid plastic contraption that . . . read more

Review: Deluxe G-Spotter Hitachi attachment

Review: Deluxe G-Spotter Hitachi attachment

It’s all fun and games until someone’s vag vibrates off. The Pop Tops Deluxe G-Spotter is my first ever Hitachi attachment. I know; I’m a slacker. I’ve never been best friends with my Hitachi I have come to appreciate my Hitachi more over the… years, but I don’t fawn over internal vibrations. Still, the attachment’s shape reminded me of the Ella, so I broke my own “no purple or pink if at all possible” rule and went for it. (It does also come in black, thank goodness.) It’s definitely purple. No getting around that. But it’s squishy and pearlescent, and it fits over the Hitachi’s head easily (I hold the Hitachi between my legs while stretching the attachment over the head) — . . . read more

Review: Mystic Wand

Review: Mystic Wand

The Vibratex Mystic Wand is a damn good sex toy. No caveats, no horror stories. It just gets things right. Replace the entire text of this review with “IT RULES,” and that would sum up my feelings about the Mystic Wand. Where so many other toys fail, the Mystic Wand succeeds. Batteries are a breeze to insert into this toy. The cap is easy to screw on. Buttons are fun to push. Settings are very perceptible, thanks to enjoyable color-coded lights. I don’t have any trouble grasping the shaft. It’s not too heavy. The head isn’t too big. The vibrations are strong, and they don’t transfer to the shaft, so there’s no hand-numbing. Also, the Mystic Wand is made of . . . read more