wands

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Rechargeable

IS THAT A CORDLESS HITACHI?????

—everyone on earth whenever I post a photo of the Magic Wand Rechargeable

Yes. Yes, it is. The time has come, my friends. The legendary Hitachi Magic Wand, widely regarded as the most powerful vibrator of all time, now comes in a rechargeable version. It can finally be there for you during power outages. While camping. On your porch. In your treehouse. On your top bunk. Or simply when you’re too damn lazy to get up and plug something in. (Me, all the time.)

The world has been holding its breath, as have I, because there are many ways this new version could have gone terribly wrong. . . . read the rest

Review: Smart Wands (medium and large)

Review: Smart Wands (medium and large)

Unreliable. That’s the word I’d use to describe the LELO Smart Wands. Not an adjective you want applied to any vibrator, but especially not an expensive one in a category of toy which is relied upon for quick, effortless orgasms. These so-called “Smart” Wands… are pretty dumb.

You can’t tell from that artsy-ass photo I took, but the medium Smart Wand is about half the size of the large one, at 9″ long and 1.7″ in diameter at the head, versus the large’s 12″ and 2.4″. The large comes in the most enormous LELO box I’ve ever seen. Both come with storage bags, but the medium gets the usual satin, while the large gets an odd neoprene that reminds me of knee pads. . . . read the rest

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Original

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Original

[Wondering how I feel about the rechargeable version of this toy? I LOVE IT.]

I finally get the Hitachi.

I am now old and my vulva is grizzled, and I have come to a place of understanding with the bumbling, imprecise beast that is the Hitachi Magic Wand. Perhaps that is how it was meant to be.

But there should be laws forbidding newbie reviewers from trying it. I received my first one a mere month after launching my blog, and I ended my almost-entirely-useless review with, “I know eventually I will sing your praises just as everyone else has. . . . read the rest

Review: Mini Magic Wand

Review: Mini Magic Wand

You might stumble across the Lovehoney Mini Magic Wand while shopping for the legendary Mystic Wand and think to yourself, “oh! It’s 30% cheaper than the Mystic Wand and virtually the same! Nailed it!”

But you would not, in fact, have nailed it.

The second time I went to try the Mini Magic Wand, I actually said out loud, “oh, I have to use that fucking piece of shit again.” Nobody was in the room. Just a cat snoozing on my desk.

The Mini Magic Wand takes four AAs, the same type and number as the Mystic Wand, yet it uses them for evil. . . . read the rest

Review: Deluxe G-Spotter Hitachi attachment

Review: Deluxe G-Spotter Hitachi attachment

It’s all fun and games until someone’s vag vibrates off.

The Pop Tops Deluxe G-Spotter is my first ever Hitachi attachment. I know; I’m a slacker. I’ve never been best friends with my Hitachi I have come to appreciate my Hitachi more over the… years, but I don’t fawn over internal vibrations. Still, the attachment’s shape reminded me of the Ella, so I broke my own “no purple or pink if at all possible” rule and went for it. (It does also come in black, thank goodness.)

It’s definitely purple. No getting around that. But it’s squishy and pearlescent, and it fits over the Hitachi’s head easily (I hold the Hitachi between my legs while stretching the attachment over the head) — no complaints there. . . . read the rest

Review: Mystic Wand

Review: Mystic Wand

The Vibratex Mystic Wand is a damn good sex toy. No caveats, no horror stories. It just gets things right. Replace the entire text of this review with “IT RULES,” and that would sum up my feelings about the Mystic Wand.

Where so many other toys fail, the Mystic Wand succeeds. Batteries are a breeze to insert into the Mystic Wand. The cap is easy to screw on. Buttons are fun to push. Settings are very perceptible, thanks to enjoyable color-coded lights. I don’t have any trouble grasping the shaft. It’s not too heavy. The head isn’t too big. The vibrations are strong, and they don’t transfer to the shaft, so there’s no hand-numbing. . . . read the rest

Review: Fairy Mini Wireless

Review: Fairy Mini Wireless

It’s been a little while since I crowned the Fairy Mini Mini better than the Hitachi in almost every way, but there’s a new Fairy in town — the Fairy Mini Wireless. It’s smallish, rechargeable, and has that same awesome variable speed dial.

Too bad it can’t hold a charge to save its life.

The Fairy comes with a nice drawstring bag (pink, of course!) and not much else. The two charging cables (USB and AC) come in separate boxes. There is no manual, and very little English on the Japanese-riddled box. I did find these tidbits: Play over 20-30min with charging for 60min; Over charging protection circuit added; It is so compact to conceal in your bag (no, not really).  . . . read the rest

Review: Wahl

Review: Wahl

The Wahl is easily lost in the shuffle — usually only mentioned in the same breath as the Hitachi as another once-innocent body massager that has been perverted. But since the Hitachi has been more universally perverted, the Wahl tends to be forgotten. Now that I have tried the Wahl, I feel that this is a grave injustice. And I am here to rectify it.

Previously referred to as the Wahl 7-in-1, the Wahl is an 8-inch long, gun-shaped massager that used to come with seven plastic attachments (now comes with four). Each attachment has a vanilla purpose, and they are named for them: scalp attachment, facial1 attachment, etc.  . . . read the rest

Review: My Mini Miracle Massager

Review: My Mini Miracle Massager

It seems that making miniature Hitachi knock-offs is in style. I’ve already found my mini Hitachi knock-off lover — the Fairy Mini Mini Wand — but I’m interested in other reincarnations. And the My Mini Miracle Massager, created by California Exotic, is one of the newest. Although all the Ms in its name make me twitchy, I wanted to try it.

The Mini Miracle is very petite, at 8″ long and 1.2″ in diameter. It comes with a 6 foot long cord (can be unplugged) that connects to a very chunky and unnecessarily heavy-duty 12 volt AC adapter. . . . read the rest

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