The Ophoria Bliss 8 is not kidding around. It is not joking. It is not pulling your leg, nor is it joshing you. It is one serious mofo, and that is why I love it. It’s basically made for texture sluts like myself. Here’s a simple test to determine whether or not the Bliss 8 [...]

This vibrator is not purple. It is fuchsia. Let it be known. Despite every product photo ever depicting it as a nice, moderate color of purple, it is instead a bright fuchsia that made me gasp when I opened the package. I’ll survive, but I just wanted you to know. The Vanity by Jopen line is a mysterious line [...]

I already told you about my awesome plastic storage drawers, but y’all are creepers, so I figured you’d want to snoop inside the actual drawers. When I attempted to organize my toys into these drawers, I wasn’t sure how to go about it. I didn’t want to organize things by type, since I have about [...]

The Vibratex Mystic Wand is a damn good sex toy. No caveats, no horror stories. It just gets things right. Replace the entire text of this review with “IT RULES,” and that would sum up my feelings about the Mystic Wand. Where so many other toys fail, the Mystic Wand succeeds. Batteries are a breeze [...]

Those who remember the wrath I unleashed on the Nomi Tang Better than Chocolate may be surprised that I was even interested in the latest Nomi Tang creation, the insertable Getaway Wild (one of three different Getaways). But the shape of the Wild reminded me of my old-time squirting lover, Ella, so I suspended my [...]

I’m just going to have to admit defeat with this one. The Nexus G-Rider is too much for my butt. I thought I could handle it. I have the G-Play medium — a smaller cousin of the G-Rider — and I like it. It’s nothing crazy-good, but it feels pleasant, and it vibrates. Vibrating butt plugs [...]

The LELO Isla is one of three toys in LELO’s new Insignia line. These toys are characterized by cut-out handles and metallic cores, but my favorite part is that the toys come with brooches. At the risk of turning a review of a luxury sex toy into a grotesque experience, the brooch just made me [...]

Bless Jimmyjane’s little hearts; they really are trying. They’re trying so hard to create innovative toys, but they keep promising shit that they can’t follow through on. Just as the Form 2 was supposed to function as vibrating tweezers, the Form 3 is supposed to “amplify touch” through a thin silicone membrane. Sounds awesome, I know. [...]