This is all so overwhelming. I want to be clever and make you giggle, but… this website, this product… THERE IS TOO MUCH TO MAKE FUN OF. The website looks like my April Fool’s Day redesigns. There is a firework background. There is size 500 pt font. There is a rampant misspelling of Fleshlight to “Flashlight.”  There are unnecessary [...]

The world of luxury1 rabbit vibes is not an expansive one. Fun Factory has a few in their new G4 line; Cal Exotics is trying really hard with a bazillion styles in their Jopen line; and fresh-faced Zini has a couple. But generally, when someone wants a luxury toy, they think of LELO. The LELO Soraya [...]

The Evolved Lucky 11 is part of Evolved’s “Roulette” line. As such, it has a wheel embedded in its base that controls the vibrations. Admittedly, I was drawn in by this gimmick. But I’m also a texture slut, and the odd raised lines on the Lucky 11 appealed to me. First, a word on packaging. [...]

LELO is a sex toy company that listens to people. When consumers loved their uniquely-shaped Gigi, they invented a dildo version named Ella (which, by the way, changed my life). With the success of their rechargeable cock ring, Bo, they came out with an updated version called Tor. And now, the adorable USB-rechargeable Mia has been overhauled [...]

The Ophoria Bliss 8 is not kidding around. It is not joking. It is not pulling your leg, nor is it joshing you. It is one serious mofo, and that is why I love it. It’s basically made for texture sluts like myself. Here’s a simple test to determine whether or not the Bliss 8 [...]

This vibrator is not purple. It is fuchsia. Let it be known. Despite every product photo ever depicting it as a nice, moderate color of purple, it is instead a bright fuchsia that made me gasp when I opened the package. I’ll survive, but I just wanted you to know. The Vanity by Jopen line is a mysterious line [...]

I already told you about my awesome plastic storage drawers, but y’all are creepers, so I figured you’d want to snoop inside the actual drawers. When I attempted to organize my toys into these drawers, I wasn’t sure how to go about it. I didn’t want to organize things by type, since I have about [...]

The Vibratex Mystic Wand is a damn good sex toy. No caveats, no horror stories. It just gets things right. Replace the entire text of this review with “IT RULES,” and that would sum up my feelings about the Mystic Wand. Where so many other toys fail, the Mystic Wand succeeds. Batteries are a breeze [...]