vibrators

All posts tagged “vibrators.” Usually, reviews of vibrators.

Review: Mona Wave

Review: Mona Wave

The LELO Mona Wave feels like being fingered by someone who is absent-mindedly planning out the toppings on the pizza they’re going to order after I finally fucking come. I know that isn’t what you want me to say. You want me to say that the Mona Wave is like being fingered by the devil, or that it’s the . . .

Review: Limon

Review: Limon

I have now formed a conditioned response whenever I hover over a link and see the URL indiegogo.com. It’s a mixture of terror, disgust, and exasperation, which, upon clicking, either bubbles into rage or fizzles into mild interest, depending on the product advertised. The Minna Limon fell into the latter camp, but my initial thoughts were still mostly negative: Are we . . .

Review: Ceres Lace

Review: Ceres Lace

I believe the texture on this toy is supposed to be swanky, but my friend says it reminds him of a chain-link fence. So that’s a great association… if you’re into prison-inspired sex toys. My thought process basically went “I like texture and I like that color. Give it to me.” In hindsight, I should’ve maybe thought it . . .

Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2014

Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2014

Oh hey, remember 2014? It was the year I was a guest on Sex Out Loud Radio, I taught a sex blogging class, I fell in love with someone new, and I bought a house. This year I coined a new catchphrase, “that’s not where my clit is,” which can be applied to any unsatisfactory . . .

Review: Ora 2

Review: Ora 2

I wish the entirety of this review could just be the word no. Not even repeated for emphasis, not even in all caps. Just a single, lonely, plaintive no. I am bored by how predictably mediocre the LELO Ora 2 is. When the press release called the Ora “the world’s most sophisticated oral sex simulator,” I didn’t fly into a . . .

Review: Hula Beads

Review: Hula Beads

Imagine a cat with its head tilted to the side in puzzlement. That is me whenever I use the LELO Hula Beads… only a lot less cute. It’s a head tilt that turns to a subtle wince that melts into a side eye and ends with a weary sigh. The confusion begins with the fact that . . .

Review: Sqweel Go

Review: Sqweel Go

“IT’S SO GODDAMN CUTE,” I stammered upon opening the Lovehoney Sqweel Go. I actually cooed over it, like an idiot. I don’t normally care if sex toys are “cute,” but this toy reminded me of a hamster or hedgehog or something. It was actually smaller than I’d imagined, which pretty much never happens. There was another reason for my excitement as . . .

Review: Lovelife Adventure, Smile, Discover, and Cuddle

Review: Lovelife Adventure, Smile, Discover, and Cuddle

OhMiBod is commonly known as the sex toy company that makes music- and app-responsive vibrators, but their Lovelife line is a departure, and a valiant effort. It’s a line of less expensive rechargeable toys that do not care whether you’re blasting Meatloaf. Usually, for a rechargeable vibrator, you’ll spend at least $90, and up to $200 depending on size, functionality, and . . .

The great Mona summer party winners

The great Mona summer party winners

It wouldn’t be enough to call my great Mona summer party giveaway a success. Over 1,000 humans entered via the widget, with even more reblogging, posting in the comments section, and joining the Twitter party, for well over 10,000 individual entries. This giveaway was a whirlwind — and rightfully so. I asked for the unthinkable: to give . . .