USB

Many sex toys now charge via USB port.

Hell Yes: kGoal

Hell Yes: kGoal

Everyone pause and bask in this moment. I have found a sex toy crowdfunding campaign that isn’t shitty. It’s a squeezable silicone bulb — er, they’re calling it a pillow — that measures the clenching of your pelvic floor muscles, and it’s called the kGoal (get it? Sounds like “kegel”? If you pronounce “kegel” that way?). It charges via . . .

Review: Stronic Zwei and Drei

Review: Stronic Zwei and Drei

No matter what I say in the rest of this review, the fact will always remain: the Fun Factory Stronics make me come like a motherfucker. Like, this is a persistent, undeniable problem. And it’s embarrassing. I’m a sex toy reviewer. I should be able to control my orgasms. But the thrusting motion — coupled with . . .

Review: Tenga Iroha Sakura, Midori, and Yuki

Review: Tenga Iroha Sakura, Midori, and Yuki

If you like pushing around the skin on a wrinkly dog, you will love touching the Tenga Iroha vibrators. They feel spongy, like marshmallows, with enough give on the outer layer that you can push it around like dog skin. They’re really addicting to touch, but that criteria would only matter if I were reviewing a set . . .

Review: Comet II Wand

Review: Comet II Wand

Bloggers created a wave of hysteria following the release of the Jopen Key Comet G Wand. “It effortlessly strokes the fuck out of my G-spot and makes me thank my lucky stars I was born with a vagina,” Girly Juice raved. “I was 38 years old and found my G-spot for the first time in . . .

Review: Tango

Review: Tango

Dude, man, guys, shit, dawg. Everyone loves the We-Vibe Tango. I’m totally late to the party. Then again, I was also late to anal beads, smartphones, and liking the Hitachi, so it’s not as if you should trust my timing on anything (except having an orgasm right when the corn dog timer goes off — I’m great . . .

Review: iGino One

Review: iGino One

OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ OONTZ Welcome to the sound you will long for once you hear the iGino. About one minute into using it, you will lose all sense of musical taste and . . .

Review: Revel Body

Review: Revel Body

I’ve seen a ton of presumptuous sex toy marketing in my day, but I’d never seen a sex toy that so audaciously attempted to convince me of its superiority — until the Revel Body. As I unboxed it, I came upon an organza bag containing what appeared to be a cheap white slimline vibrator already . . .

Review: Flash

Review: Flash

The year is 2013 AD. Yet, eyes closed and knowing nothing, I could swear that the Lovehoney Flash is a tiny gourd stuffed with bees from 54 BC. It really has all the buzzing “power” of a herd of bees. Apparently a group of bees is sometimes called a “grist.” A grist of bees. But that makes it . . .

Review: Mia 2 and Adore Me Pleasure Set

Review: Mia 2 and Adore Me Pleasure Set

The LELO Mia and I go way back. Almost to the beginning of this blog. A lot of things have changed since then — for instance, I am now a hardcore Google Chrome fan, and the clunky Compaq laptop pictured in my original Mia review has been replaced by a sleek white Sony Vaio1. With . . .