I don’t know how to say this in a way that is pleasant, but that’s okay — I’ve never really been the queen of class. It feels like I’m pooping. Because the Tantus Severin’s final bulge rests right inside my ass, it feels like I’m on the verge of a poop. Constantly. Especially if I walk [...]

It’s almost 2012, so you (maybe) know what that means — it’s time for me to list my top and bottom toys of 2011! Remember, like last year, this list includes toys that I acquired/reviewed in 2011, not necessarily toys that were released this year. Anyway, let’s get to it! Best sex toys of 2011 [...]

Oh snap, my friends! This week is my 3-year blogging anniversary, and I’ve hit 200 reviews written! I wrote 35 reviews off-site before I began this blog, and this blog is the home for the other 165 reviews. I’ve been reviewing for 4 years, which is the equivalent of one review about every 7 days. Over [...]

I emailed Tantus last week because someone bought stuff on their site through my affiliate link, but the sale didn’t show up in my affiliate control panel. I was directed to Jenn, whom I’ve had a lovely time emailing back-and-forth with. To my great surprise, our conversation turned into a chat about what colors of [...]

There is nothing wrong with the Tantus Ryder. This is a butt plug that means business. It does its job and does it well. If it were a person, you’d want it as an employee or personal assistant. I bet it would make impeccable coffee.1 I used to own a purple Ryder. Then Tantus came out [...]

It was October of 2008, and I had just started a blog that I didn’t know what the fuck to do with. I was on the hunt for my first ever silicone dildo, and I had narrowed it down to either the Goddess or the Echo, both Tantus dildos with texture. Being a cheapskate, I chose [...]

Click to embiggen. Yes, my friends! The time has come! No longer will you have to slave away on the internets trying to figure out WTF that-one-toy-in-Epiphora’s-header is. No longer will you have to sheepishly email/tweet me and awkwardly try to describe the location of the toy you need identified. I took the picture that [...]

After a long masturbation session, the kitchen counter usually looks something like this: Left to right: Alumina Motion/Revolve hybrid, Dual-Sided Swirled Rib, Xtreme Pack, Cobalt Twister, Gold Ribbed Love Wand, Alumina Motion/Revolve hybrid This was taken in December of 2008, though, when I was on a glass dildo kick, and when my Xtreme Pack had [...]