Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. How often do you masturbate? You have quite a collection of toys; do you end up using most of them? Generally, every other day. Sometimes I go days and it’s just a mistake because I always come too fast [...]

Ahhh, yearly traditions! As 2012 comes to a close (how did that happen, though, seriously?!), the time has come for me to recount my most loved and most hated sex toys that I tried this year. As in 2011 and 2010, I’ll first list the best/worst toys, then give out faux awards such as “Most Heinous [...]

The Tantus Splash looks like it’s in the midst of being slimed. And if it were a celeb at a Nickelodeon awards show, it’d be grinning and taking it like a champ. Because life is good for the Splash. It is a dildo that stands out aesthetically, but also succeeds internally. It doesn’t have to worry [...]

Look, I get it. You think this is a picture of a FUN FUN SUPER FUN night. I know — you’d kill to own that many sex toys. But I would gently ask that you acquire a sense of scale and absorb what you are seeing here — five dildos, two of them enormous, two [...]

Wow. I’m about 99% certain my 4-year blogiversary giveaway was the most successful giveaway in the history of this blog. And that’s a tall order considering some of the hella cool giveaways I’ve done in the past. I am humbled by all the amazing comments you left offering improvement ideas. I’ve already implemented one of [...]

Four motherfuckin’ years, my friends. That’s how long this blog has been chugging along. If you know me at all, you know I’m a fan of throwing epic blogiversary giveaways each October to thank everyone for following my escapades, and this year is no different. Well, except it’s even BETTER than years past, because I [...]

I think I can call this a legit collection now. Back in April, after jealously ogling everyone’s photos of the mini Tantus dildos at Momentum, the lovely Jenna sent me a few in various colors. They are mini Goliaths, and I adore them. I set them up on my shelf all in a row, and threw [...]

One night, as I was preparing to jack off, I decided I had to have the Tantus Cush O2. I tore through my drawers but I couldn’t find it, which only increased my fervor. As I stalked the halls wailing “there are only so many places it could be!”, I remembered that I had packed [...]