There is nothing wrong with the Tantus Ryder. This is a butt plug that means business. It does its job and does it well. If it were a person, you’d want it as an employee or personal assistant. I bet it would make impeccable coffee.1 I used to own a purple Ryder. Then Tantus came out [...]

The world of luxury1 rabbit vibes is not an expansive one. Fun Factory has a few in their new G4 line; Cal Exotics is trying really hard with a bazillion styles in their Jopen line; and fresh-faced Zini has a couple. But generally, when someone wants a luxury toy, they think of LELO. The LELO Soraya [...]

It was October of 2008, and I had just started a blog that I didn’t know what the fuck to do with. I was on the hunt for my first ever silicone dildo, and I had narrowed it down to either the Goddess or the Echo, both Tantus dildos with texture. Being a cheapskate, I chose [...]

The .GIFs did me in. The mesmerizing, neverending .GIFs. I stared at them in a trance, focusing my attention on the PS-spot, thinking of what it would be like to discover something else as amazing as my G-spot. The .GIFs promised so much glorious stimulation. I wanted it all! And then suddenly the Split Dildo [...]

The Evolved Lucky 11 is part of Evolved’s “Roulette” line. As such, it has a wheel embedded in its base that controls the vibrations. Admittedly, I was drawn in by this gimmick. But I’m also a texture slut, and the odd raised lines on the Lucky 11 appealed to me. First, a word on packaging. [...]

The Ophoria Bliss 8 is not kidding around. It is not joking. It is not pulling your leg, nor is it joshing you. It is one serious mofo, and that is why I love it. It’s basically made for texture sluts like myself. Here’s a simple test to determine whether or not the Bliss 8 [...]

Je Joue, makers of the failtastic SaSi, attempt to make vag balls! In my head, that is the slogan for the Je Joue Ami. Which is really quite unfair to the Ami, because this set of vag balls (kegel exercise balls, if you prefer) is not bad at all. Divorced from the terrible mistake that [...]

This vibrator is not purple. It is fuchsia. Let it be known. Despite every product photo ever depicting it as a nice, moderate color of purple, it is instead a bright fuchsia that made me gasp when I opened the package. I’ll survive, but I just wanted you to know. The Vanity by Jopen line is a mysterious line [...]