I don’t know how to say this in a way that is pleasant, but that’s okay — I’ve never really been the queen of class. It feels like I’m pooping. Because the Tantus Severin’s final bulge rests right inside my ass, it feels like I’m on the verge of a poop. Constantly. Especially if I walk [...]

I mourned the death of sex toy company Jollies half a year ago, but it looks like we all might have one final chance to get some of their toys. A couple days ago, a friend messaged me with a link and wrote, “Since when is Jollies stuff sold in an Etsy shop with pot [...]

It’s all fun and games until someone’s vag vibrates off. The Deluxe G-Spotter is my first ever Hitachi attachment. I know; I’m a slacker. But I’ve never been best friends with my Hitachi1, and I don’t fawn over internal vibrations. Still, the attachment’s shape reminded me of the Ella, so I broke my own “no [...]

Soaring hope followed by crushing despair. That’s the LELO Lyla. The first ever rechargeable wireless egg, meant for insertion in the vagina and fun on the town (bars! concerts! wherever sexy people go!). Every single other wireless egg ever created has been a horrible failure. But in the capable hands of a high-end company like [...]

The Whipspider Rubberworks Jellyfish is a magical sea creature. Yes, I just wrote that sentence. And I’m keeping it. Because despite the fact that this dildo is basically a conglomeration of veins topped with a jellyfish-shaped head… I fucking love it. Usually I have to choose between G-spotting and texture. Texture can be so overwhelming that G-spot [...]

I know what you’re thinking. After such distressing trysts with Jimmyjane’s Form 6, Form 2, and Form 3, why the fuck would I want to try the (inventively-named) Form 4? I’ll tell you why. Because I was still waiting for Jimmyjane to get something right. And yes, I just used the past tense. The Form 4 [...]

BMS Enterprises has not made much of anything that’s too terribly noteworthy. They make locking toy cases, an extensive line of bullets, and they designed the Jopen line, but that’s about it. UNTIL NOW. Now, it looks like they’re trying to break through into the luxury market — and the hippie market — with their sleek new [...]

Here’s a sentence only a sex toy freak would ever write: I’ve been waiting a long time for a company to make a rechargeable clit toy with a pointy tip. One of my first favorite clit vibes was a bullet with a pointy tip, but I abandoned it long ago in favor of deeper stimulation and rechargeability. [...]