It wouldn’t be enough to call my great Mona summer party giveaway a success. Over 1,000 humans entered via the widget, with even more reblogging, posting in the comments section, and joining the Twitter party, for well over 10,000 individual entries. This giveaway was a whirlwind — and rightfully so. I asked for the unthinkable: to give . . .
Put on your sunhats, make your best lemonade, and fill up the pool, because the time has come for the greatest party of the summer. It involves ORGASMS. This is the party I’ve been wanting to throw ever since I fell in love with the LELO Mona 2 vibrator years ago. I am bringing Mona to the masses and giving . . .
Everyone pause and bask in this moment. I have found a sex toy crowdfunding campaign that isn’t shitty. It’s a squeezable silicone bulb — er, they’re calling it a pillow — that measures the clenching of your pelvic floor muscles, and it’s called the kGoal (get it? Sounds like “kegel”? If you pronounce “kegel” that way?). It charges via . . .
No matter what I say in the rest of this review, the fact will always remain: the Fun Factory Stronics make me come like a motherfucker. Like, this is a persistent, undeniable problem. And it’s embarrassing. I’m a sex toy reviewer. I should be able to control my orgasms. But the thrusting motion — coupled with . . .
If you like pushing around the skin on a wrinkly dog, you will love touching the Tenga Iroha vibrators. They feel spongy, like marshmallows, with enough give on the outer layer that you can push it around like dog skin. They’re really addicting to touch, but that criteria would only matter if I were reviewing a set . . .
I don’t know if you’ve heard: I love my LELO Mona 2. So much that I yell things like “THE MONA IS WHAT GOD WANTS TO BE WHEN HE GROWS UP” when I’m drunk. So much that I have nightmares about LELO changing it. So much that I rush to comfort it when it falls off my nightstand. . . .
Bloggers created a wave of hysteria following the release of the Jopen Key Comet G Wand. “It effortlessly strokes the fuck out of my G-spot and makes me thank my lucky stars I was born with a vagina,” Girly Juice raved. “I was 38 years old and found my G-spot for the first time in . . .
The Gigi used to be one of LELO’s flagship toys. A true fan favorite. The kind of toy people would keep on their wishlists for years, save up for, tell all their Tumblr friends to buy. But I am officially revoking that honor; I’m using the past tense. The Gigi has not kept up with the . . .
Dude, man, guys, shit, dawg. Everyone loves the We-Vibe Tango. I’m totally late to the party. Then again, I was also late to anal beads, smartphones, and liking the Hitachi, so it’s not as if you should trust my timing on anything (except having an orgasm right when the corn dog timer goes off — I’m great . . .