When Sexcuse Moi asked if I wanted to do a special promotion and offer a discount on a certain toy, I knew which one immediately: the Pure Wand. This toy is the best thing that will ever happen to your G-spot. I wish I could give everyone in the world a Pure Wand. Since that [...]

Um. It’s made of ash stone. It’s nearly $400. It’s Pure Wand-shaped. And it can go in my vagina anytime, though it probably never will. That is the Luz de la Riva Parda dildo. All my sex toys, even the really cool ones, look like amateurs in comparison. The end.

I already told you about my awesome plastic storage drawers, but y’all are creepers, so I figured you’d want to snoop inside the actual drawers. When I attempted to organize my toys into these drawers, I wasn’t sure how to go about it. I didn’t want to organize things by type, since I have about [...]

You have come here wondering if the Njoy Pure Wand is deserving of its legendary status. If this parenthesis-shaped pound and a half of medical-grade stainless steel can indeed change your — and your G-spot’s — life. The answer is yes. Holy fuck, yes. Your G-spot will never be the same. You don’t even know. [...]

June 6th, 2010 Here’s a little secret for you: I’ve been jacking off to words lately. I know, blasphemy. I usually hate erotica. I generally don’t fantasize. I prefer graphic depictions of genitals going into other genitals. But this particular fiction — a slash pairing which is morally objectionable on more than one level — is [...]

May 8th, 2010 Eight days into May and I haven’t jacked off yet. I need to work on life. I saw pictures of this cute pornstar named Gracie Glam (oh god alliteration), so I got my hands on a scene of hers with James Deen, because he brings out the best in everyone. I thought I’d use [...]

Reading The Big Book of Sex Toys, I learned that it’s hard to read a book about subject I already know like the back of my hand. Also a subject I’m snooty and picky about. Also a subject that I believe no book could ever adequately cover unless I wrote it myself. And even that [...]

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009 Settled into bed with Roulette on my laptop and the Better than Chocolate on my clit, for probably the most simple masturbation session in a while. Didn’t use any other toys, wanting to see if the Better than Chocolate could do it for me by itself. As I suspected, the weak [...]