[Sorry this one has taken SO LONG. I want to recount only the best masturbation stories... of the year, apparently.] February 3rd, 2011 Tonight I found one of my favorite male pornstars, Danny Wylde, on cam. When he saw my name in the chatroom, he said, “holy shit, is this the Epiphora?” and I just [...]

I mean, we all know that Dylan Ryan and Danny Wylde are hot. And that Tristan Taormino has an amazing eye for shooting porn. But all of them combined? Explosion of awesome. It’s even better than I thought it would be. Here’s what happened: Tristan shot a couple sex ed shorts for the Smitten Kitten [...]

This may be the right time to admit that I don’t find Adrianna Nicole’s face terribly attractive. However, her body is smokin’, her tattoos are fabulous, and I definitely know why she got her own porno: she’s a powerhouse. She gives her scenes everything she’s got. She does not let up. She never looks bored. [...]

I’m finally at a point where I can shell out the cash for a monthly porn DVD subscription. THIS IS VERY EXCITING! I’ve been wanting to do this for ages. It was a bit of an experience figuring out just which service to use. I eliminated WantedList pretty quickly when I found they did not [...]

Girls. I have a serious matter to discuss with you. That rubber thing you are tonguing and eating? It doesn’t look sanitary. In fact, I’m willing to bet it’s been fondled by every cast member, make-up person, and cameraman on set — presumably in an impromptu game of hot potato butt plug. Wait, what are [...]

Outside the theater, most people are hipsters. Most people are smoking. But the people that stand out are the ones holding a purple inflated Alien Love Doll. They are there to promote their film, which involves a threesome in a strip club (two humans, one Alien Love Doll). Meanwhile, some mangy dude is asking if he [...]

Tristan Taormino does incredibly important work with her Expert Guide series of porn movies. So many “how-to” movies are yawn-inducing, but Tristan realizes that she must mix education with super-smokin’-hot sex. Sure, if you’re looking for an in-depth run-down of how to achieve orgasm, you’d be better off reading a book, but The Expert Guide to [...]

Trigger warning for violence against women. When people talk about degradation in porn, they usually don’t know what they’re talking about. The majority of porn is shot by decent people, starring intelligent people, and is entirely consensual. Even when it gets rough, the scene is planned beforehand, with “do”s and “don’t”s clearly laid out between [...]