Have you been jonesing for a deep look into the female psyche? Then What Girls Like is the porno for you! Seriously, it’s uncanny how much this film understands womankind. Case in point: the painting scene. I have learned much from this scene, like that paint fumes are an aphrodisiac. And that girls like getting [...]

Tristan Taormino is obsessed with the butt. This is a known fact. But somehow it’s been four years since her original guide to anal sex. Therefore, Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex is a mouthful, but what else was she gonna call it? Like all the Expert Guide movies, this one begins with a workshop in [...]

BREAKING NEWS, everyone. LISTEN CLOSELY, especially if you are raising innocent little girls. I’ve just learned that James Deen, my/your favorite male porn star of all time, is very dangerous. He is a serious threat to our girlchildren. He is lurking in the shadows of the internet, infiltrating their Tumblr dashboards with his bedroom eyes. HE MUST [...]

[Sorry this one has taken SO LONG. I want to recount only the best masturbation stories... of the year, apparently.] February 3rd, 2011 Tonight I found one of my favorite male pornstars, Danny Wylde, on cam. When he saw my name in the chatroom, he said, “holy shit, is this the Epiphora?” and I just [...]

I mean, we all know that Dylan Ryan and Danny Wylde are hot. And that Tristan Taormino has an amazing eye for shooting porn. But all of them combined? Explosion of awesome. It’s even better than I thought it would be. Here’s what happened: Tristan shot a couple sex ed shorts for the Smitten Kitten [...]

This may be the right time to admit that I don’t find Adrianna Nicole’s face terribly attractive. However, her body is smokin’, her tattoos are fabulous, and I definitely know why she got her own porno: she’s a powerhouse. She gives her scenes everything she’s got. She does not let up. She never looks bored. [...]

I’m finally at a point where I can shell out the cash for a monthly porn DVD subscription. THIS IS VERY EXCITING! I’ve been wanting to do this for ages. It was a bit of an experience figuring out just which service to use. I eliminated WantedList pretty quickly when I found they did not [...]

Girls. I have a serious matter to discuss with you. That rubber thing you are tonguing and eating? It doesn’t look sanitary. In fact, I’m willing to bet it’s been fondled by every cast member, make-up person, and cameraman on set — presumably in an impromptu game of hot potato butt plug. Wait, what are [...]