Wedged between my consumption of Fast Food Nation and We Need to Talk About Kevin, I inhaled The Feminist Porn Book. I wrote in the margins and bent the pages and even took it in the bath. When I was a stupid teen, I inherited a waterlogged copy of Marilyn Manson’s The Long Hard Road Out of [...]

Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. How often do you masturbate? You have quite a collection of toys; do you end up using most of them? Generally, every other day. Sometimes I go days and it’s just a mistake because I always come too fast [...]

Do you know how many years it’s been since Bend Over Boyfriend? I hate to break it to you (and myself), but 1998 was 14 years ago. While you were suffering through “Hooch” and “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It,” while Bill Clinton was not having sexual relations with that woman, and while some dumb new search [...]

Wolf Hudson looks like the kind of guy who owns more than a few sets of brass knuckles, but in actuality, he is a sweetheart with killer dance moves who hangs out with cats and tweets mouthwatering pictures of his mom’s Dominican food. I first laid eyes on him in Shifting Gears, and I’ve considered him [...]

January 21st, 2012 After a nap with weird dreams, I got up at 10 p.m. and drank a Rockstar. Like you do. I did some work, then jacked off to Belladonna’s Buttface. With a name like that, I guess I should’ve expected a moment like this: Some people wait a liiiifetime for a moooment like [...]

[Welcome to Movie Night, a new feature in which I'll snark about movies and TV that address sex toys, porn, and sexuality. I hope it makes you laugh!] Missionary Positions is a documentary from 2005 about a quaint pair of minister dudes, Craig and Mike, who had a ~crazy~ idea: to, uh, do something about [...]

Have you been jonesing for a deep look into the female psyche? Then What Girls Like is the porno for you! Seriously, it’s uncanny how much this film understands womankind. Case in point: the painting scene. I have learned much from this scene, like that paint fumes are an aphrodisiac. And that girls like getting [...]

Tristan Taormino is obsessed with the butt. This is a known fact. But somehow it’s been four years since her original guide to anal sex. Therefore, Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex is a mouthful, but what else was she gonna call it? Like all the Expert Guide movies, this one begins with a workshop in [...]