Dearest Turbo Glider, Hello, my dear. It’s been a while, I know. A few trysts here and there, but things between us are nothing like they used to be. I understand if you feel neglected; I barely get you out from the drawer at all. The truth is, my clit now prefers less buzzy, more unique [...]

It’s okay. You can be wary of the Bswish Bnaughty Unleashed. I was too. And sadly, having tried it now, I still am. I was really hoping for a triumph. So many remote vibrating bullets suck royally. Many of the bullets are loud. They malfunction. They fail miserably at being discreet. Some aren’t waterproof, which [...]

It’s been a little while since I crowned the Fairy Mini Mini better than the Hitachi in almost every way, but there’s a new Fairy in town — the Fairy Mini Wireless. It’s smallish, rechargeable, and has that same awesome variable speed dial. Too bad it can’t hold a charge to save its life. The [...]

Hey, watch battery bullets — have I told you lately to suck it? No? Yeah, that’s because usually when a dildo comes with a watch battery bullet, I toss the bullet into a container and never use it. Hence, the existence of a watch battery bullet tends to read as an afterthought in many of [...]

The Better Sex Synergy Pleasure System, made by the Sinclair Institute, is all about pomp and bravado. It has a stupidly long name, comes in a large box, and is endorsed by some random psychologist who doesn’t even have her own Wikipedia page. It comes with five attachments, a storage bag, a manual, and a [...]

There are a lot of vibrators in the world, but few that charge via USB. That’s why I wanted the Xtassie Cocomini. Okay, that and it comes in freaking TURQUOISE. Who can argue with turquoise? Well, it turns out even turquoise and a USB port can’t save a mediocre vibrator. The Cocomini is packaged in [...]

The Bswish Bcurious, which is quite humorously one letter away from being called the “Bicurious,” joins a small, tight-knit family of other rechargeable clitoral stimulators: its (disappointing) Bswish predecessor, the Bsoft, and the Lelo Lily, Nea and Mia. There is actually an astoundingly small number of clit toys that are rechargeable. In that way, the [...]

The Wahl is easily lost in the shuffle — usually only mentioned in the same breath as the Hitachi as another once-innocent body massager that has been perverted. But the Hitachi has been more universally perverted, so the Wahl tends to be forgotten. Now that I have tried the Wahl, I feel that this is a great [...]