not for the faint of vagina

Toys that could potentially make one’s vagina shrivel up in fear. Sometimes this means toys that my vagina rejoices over.

Review: Ceres Lace

Review: Ceres Lace

I believe the texture on this toy is supposed to be swanky, but my friend says it reminds him of a chain-link fence. So that’s a great association… if you’re into prison-inspired sex toys. My thought process basically went “I like texture and I like that color. Give it to me.” In hindsight, I should’ve maybe[. . . read more]

Today in my life... a stranger on the internet gifted me a Sybian

Today in my life... a stranger on the internet gifted me a Sybian

In this episode of True Life: I’m a Sex Toy Reviewer, I am in disbelief as I unbox this toy, because I still don’t believe that someone would send this to me, ever, let alone for free…

But there it is. A Sybian. In all its hulking glory. Safe and sound, with the[. . . read more]

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Original

Review: (Hitachi) Magic Wand Original

[Wondering how I feel about the rechargeable version of this toy? I LOVE IT.]

I finally get the Hitachi.

I am now old and my vulva is grizzled, and I have come to a place of understanding with the bumbling, imprecise beast[. . . read more]

Review: Stronic Eins

Review: Stronic Eins

[Wondering what I think of the other toys, Zwei and Drei, in the Stronic line?]

There’s been a lot of pomp and hype surrounding the Fun Factory Stronic line: an alleged 18 months of development, a YouTube trailer filled with innuendo and no actual facts,[. . . read more]

My vagina is a black hole: how I learned to love penetration

My vagina is a black hole: how I learned to love penetration

A few weeks ago, I dusted the literal dust off a 2″-thick hunk of stainless steel, put on some porn, held a vibe to my clit, and easily slipped the big end of the 2.75-pound dildo into my vagina.

Every so often,[. . . read more]

Review: Splash

Review: Splash

The Tantus Splash looks like it’s in the midst of being slimed. And if it were a celeb at a Nickelodeon awards show, it’d be grinning and taking it like a champ. Because life is good for the Splash. It is a dildo that stands out aesthetically, but also succeeds internally. It doesn’t have[. . . read more]

Review: James Deen dildos

Review: James Deen dildos

[Note: I no longer support James Deen or his work.]

THE MOST ANTICIPATED SEX TOYS OF THE YEAR… WELL, ON TUMBLR ANYWAY.

Having followed porn star James Deen for years, I think I can call myself an honorary Deenager. I have tagged him relentlessly, featured his ridiculously hot antics time after[. . . read more]

Review: Rippler

Review: Rippler

The Pleasure Works Rippler is like what the Tantus Echo wants to be when it grows up. It is a beast. A glimmering, swirly green beast; a beast that, sadly, promises much more than it delivers.

I know. Despite the fact that I love large dildos, textured dildos, and[. . . read more]