lube

Ask Piph #4

Ask Piph #4

Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here.

How often do you masturbate? You have quite a collection of toys; do you end up using most of them?

Generally, every other day. Sometimes I go days and it’s just a mistake because I always come too fast and don’t get to adequately test the toys. I always say that I should do it more, and I should. Ideally, once or twice a day. HOWEVER, I’m now in the habit of having more than one orgasm per session. That is a good habit to have formed. . . . read the rest

My favorite lube? Sliquid anything

My favorite lube? Sliquid anything

Here are my standards for lube:

You would think this would not narrow the field down very much, but it actually does. A lot. And that’s not even taking feel into account, which I’ll readily admit is not my forte. . . . read the rest

Um, No: Make Her Slap You Kit

Um, No: Make Her Slap You Kit

This is the most epic recipe for failure ever. Pipedream’s Turn Her On Kit:

For the perfect encounter. Everything you need to turn on that special someone is in this kit! Next time you start, just grab this kit, apply the appropriate lotion and get ready for a thrilling titillating, climactic experience!

Dude, can you imagine someone whipping this out right before sex?

Incredibly racist stimulating cream? Check!

Incredibly unsafe anal gel that could seriously harm you? Check!

Incredibly low-quality lube? Check!

Incredibly unnecessary (and possibly infectious) tightening cream? Check!

The next time I’m feeling low, I will be reminding myself that my life could be much worse. . . . read the rest

Review: Hydra

Review: Hydra

If you have a stuffed-up nose and malfunctioning taste buds, Intimate Organics Hydra will seem completely perfect. It’s water-based, glycerin free, DEA free, and paraben free. It’s vegan. It has a truly perfect consistency: thin enough to feel effortless, thick enough not to drip off whichever toy I slather it on. It comes in a classy bottle, it works like a dream, and at $16 for 4 ounces, it’s a pretty good deal.

With a fully functioning nose and tongue, however, the downfalls of Hydra become clear. The taste is really rancid — like eating perfume. It has a medicinal, fake clean smell to it that reminds my boyfriend of ballpoint pen ink and reminds me of sanitary pads. . . . read the rest

Review: Sex Tarts round-up

Review: Sex Tarts round-up

Flavored lubes notoriously suffer from too-sweet syndrome — and gross-aftertaste syndrome — which is why I am generally skeptical of them. The Sex Tarts line, however, is called Sex Tarts, promising on its labels to be “tangy.” So I said, “prove it.”

There are about a hundred million other Sex Tarts flavors, but I figured it would be best to choose flavors that I normally really like. You know, outside of lube. So I chose four: Green Apple Fizz, Tangy Tangerine, Electric Lemonade, and Peach Pucker. They came to me in 2 oz. flip-top tubes that are brightly-colored and far from discreet. . . . read the rest

Review: Love Liquid

Review: Love Liquid

Kama Sutra Love Liquid is water-based, but the untrained eye and vagina might think it silicone-based. It is insanely thin. So thin that it can ooze off the side of a toy if not quickly put to use. So thin that, on my clit, it doesn’t feel like lube at all — just like a nice slipperiness. The best word to describe the texture is “silky,” a word often used to describe silicone-based lube.

Love Liquid is really quite impressive, although I’ll be the first to admit that my experience with lube is limited. It has a very, very, extremely faint citrus smell, and a somewhat synthetic but inoffensive taste. . . . read the rest

Obama will be president, and seven other awesome things

Obama will be president, and seven other awesome things

[Image by Buchino]

Barack Obama will be our next president. I’m not a hugely political person, but I was worried all day and now I’m excited as fuck. I feel so lucky to be alive for this election and this presidency. I squealed inside when Obama said “gay” during his victory speech. Although other states have these ridiculous homophobic ballot measures passing, at least our next president isn’t homophobic.

And now onto things that will sound superficial in comparison, but hey…

  • I am now reviewing sex toys and porn for XCritic. My first review, of AbbyWinters’s “Girls Who Lust,” is already up.
  • . . . read the rest
    Review: O'My lube

    Review: O'My lube

    [You may be able order this lube on Amazon or at Come As You Are (Canada).]

    I have only owned one bottle of lube in my life (although I have tested quite a few at sex toy workshops), but I do know this: my dream lube would melt with my body’s lubrication so well that I would forget I was using anything artificial.

    My first and current lube, Maximus, is too thick and sticky for my tastes, and I often find myself adding water to it. Because of this, Maximus always makes me aware that I’m lubed up. Even worse, the smell of Maximus reminds me of Nickelodeon Gak. . . . read the rest

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