Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. How often do you masturbate? You have quite a collection of toys; do you end up using most of them? Generally, every other day. Sometimes I go days and it’s just a mistake because I always come too fast [...]

Here are my standards for lube: That it not smell like a sanitary pad or like Nickelodeon Gak That it not taste like perfume That it not contain glycerin or parabens That it not immediately slide off the sex toy I squirt it upon That it not come in a bottle that looks like something my [...]

This is the most epic recipe for failure ever. Pipedream’s Turn Her On Kit: For the perfect encounter. Everything you need to turn on that special someone is in this kit! Next time you start, just grab this kit, apply the appropriate lotion and get ready for a thrilling titillating, climactic experience! Dude, can you [...]

It doesn’t taste like beer. At all.1 No, not even a little. [↩]

If you have a stuffed-up nose and malfunctioning taste buds, Intimate Organics Hydra will seem completely perfect. It’s water-based, glycerin free, DEA free, and paraben free. It’s vegan. It has a truly perfect consistency: thin enough to feel effortless, thick enough not to drip off whichever toy I slather it on. It comes in a [...]

Flavored lubes notoriously suffer from too-sweet syndrome — and gross-aftertaste syndrome — which is why I am generally skeptical of them. The Sex Tarts line, however, is called Sex Tarts, promising on its labels to be “tangy.” So I said, “prove it.” There are about a hundred million other Sex Tarts flavors, but I figured [...]

Kama Sutra Love Liquid is water-based, but the untrained eye and vagina might think it silicone-based. It is insanely thin. So thin that it can ooze off the side of a toy if not quickly put to use. So thin that, on my clit, it doesn’t feel like lube at all — just like a [...]

[Image by Buchino] Barack Obama will be our next president. I’m not a hugely political person, but I was worried all day and now I’m excited as fuck. I feel so lucky to be alive for this election and this presidency. I squealed inside when Obama said “gay” during his victory speech. Although other states [...]