Jopen is the higher-end arm of cheap and huge sex toy manufacturer California Exotic Novelties. I’m highly conflicted about them, because they created the mistake that is the Intensity but also the glory that is the Comet G Wand. Their lines have silly names like Key, Ego, and Envy.

Dec 312013
Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2013

2013 was a good year. I attended CatalystCon East AND CatalystCon West (even doing a panel), hit 500 posts, became a superhero, conducted my most elaborate April Fool’s joke ever, and oh yeah, I was gifted a $1,345 Sybian. I spilled my guts about the horrible sex toys I used to lust after, why I hate pink, and why I think sex toys should not be called [...]

Nov 182013
Review: Jopen Vanity VR1

The Jopen Vanity VR1 kegel balls have offended my vagina. Deeply. They are supposed to vibrate when squeezed. Oh, in my hand they do. In my hand they do. In my vagina, no matter how hard I clench, they don’t. This is an affront to my vagina and its power. Ugh, Jopen. I both hate and love you and that [...]

Nov 152013
Epiphora's sex toy gift-giving guide

If you ask me, sex toys are way better gifts than socks or body wash. Now I may be biased, considering I own over 400 of them and have been testing them and reviewing them for six years, but you know. The point is, I have OPINIONS about things that go on vulvas and in [...]

Apr 152013
Postcards from the Peanut Gallery: Comet G Wand

Usually it takes a bit of time for my screaming endorsements to seep into the consciousness of my readers. Especially when the toys I love cost a pretty penny. But not this time. I flailed about the Jopen Comet G Wand less than two months ago, and I’m already getting reports back that peeps have bought and [...]

Feb 202013
Review: Comet G Wand

It’s only February, and the Jopen Key Comet G Wand has a very good chance of being the best sex toy I try all year. I am, I must say, flabbergasted. I mean, this is Jopen we’re talking about. Jopen, creators of the what-the-fuck that is the Intensity. Jopen, whose parent company is California Exotic. Jopen, who must think they are naming perfumes [...]

Dec 202012
Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2012

Ahhh, yearly traditions! As 2012 comes to a close (how did that happen, though, seriously?!), the time has come for me to recount my most loved and most hated sex toys that I tried this year. As in 2011 and 2010, I’ll first list the best/worst toys, then give out faux awards such as “Most Heinous [...]

Apr 112012
Review: Intensity

The Jopen Intensity, as the fable goes, did not begin as a sex toy. It began as a medical apparatus used to strengthen women’s pelvic floor muscles and treat incontinence. When product testers began experiencing an “unexpected” side effect — intense orgasms — the medical peeps contacted Jopen. Jopen knew just how to turn the thing [...]

Jan 212011
Review: Vanity by Jopen Vr9

This vibrator is not purple. It is fuchsia. Let it be known. Despite every product photo ever depicting it as a nice, moderate color of purple, it is instead a bright fuchsia that made me gasp when I opened the package. I’ll survive, but I just wanted you to know. The Vanity by Jopen line is a mysterious line [...]