Jimmyjane

Jimmyjane is a high-end vibrator company. I consider them the pretentious hipster in the room among sex toy companies. They like to give vibrators to celebs and offer $35,000 private jet packages. Their Little Chroma is one of the biggest scams in the industry.

Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2015

Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2015

[Check out my annual best/worst tag for older lists!]

What a year 2015 was! I showed my face on the internet and subsequently used it to prank all of you. I got emotional about what being a writer means to me, then had my work published in Best Sex Writing of the Year. I managed to get out of the house a couple times, to attend the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summitan epic sex blogger retreat, and two smaller #dildoholiday vacations with friends. When the universe manifested yet another “scientific” “study” “proving” that squirt is pee, I protested loudly, and so did many of you. . . . read the rest

Review: Form 5 + Hello Touch X

Review: Form 5 + Hello Touch X

Why does Jimmyjane still exist?

That’s mean. I know. I should delete that. I should write a new first sentence, something less hopeless and definitive. But sitting down to tell you about Jimmyjane’s recent releases, that is the question that pops into my head. Why, year after year, do they create products with little to no understanding of human needs? Why do they fail to improve upon anything, to move forward in any meaningful way? Why do they insist upon peddling $4,000 bouncy sex castles and $35,000 private jet rides rather than getting people off?

Take, for instance, the Form 5. . . . read the rest

Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2012

Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2012

[Check out my annual best/worst tag for older and newer lists!]

Ahhh, yearly traditions! As 2012 comes to a close (how did that happen, though, seriously?!), the time has come for me to recount my most loved and most hated sex toys that I tried this year. As in 2011 and 2010, I’ll first list the best/worst toys, then give out faux awards such as “Most Heinous Battery Compartment” and “I Risked My Life For You; You Are Welcome.”

Don’t forget to comment with which toys you loved and hated this year!

Best sex toys of 2012

  • Crystal Delights Crystal Twist — I thought I’d felt it all, especially when it came to glass dildos.
  • . . . read the rest
    Review: Little Chroma

    Review: Little Chroma

    The Jimmyjane Little Chroma is a scam. Not like your friend emailing you in distress because they’re stranded in London. Not like replying to a Craigslist post about an apartment only to have the nice folks offer to mail you the key from West Africa. Not like someone making nasty things about you on Twitter.

    But in the simple, old school way: Jimmyjane tries to swindle you into buying the Little Chroma. And I want to intervene. No, need to intervene. I really can’t stand this shit anymore.

    Jimmyjane knows the importance of marketing, and they use it to make the Little Chroma look mighty tasty. . . . read the rest

    Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2011

    Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2011

    [Check out my annual best/worst tag for older and newer lists!]

    It’s almost 2012, so you (maybe) know what that means — it’s time for me to list my top and bottom toys of 2011! Remember, like last year, this list includes toys that I acquired/reviewed in 2011, not necessarily toys that were released this year. Anyway, let’s get to it!

    Best sex toys of 2011

  • Vixen Creations Mustang — For the second year in a row, a toy made of VixSkin tops the list. Is it any wonder? VixSkin is so good, anything made out of it is amazing.
  • . . . read the rest
    Review: Form 4

    Review: Form 4

    I know what you’re thinking. After such distressing trysts with Jimmyjane’s Form 6, Form 2, and Form 3, why the fuck would I want to try the (inventively-named) Form 4?

    I’ll tell you why. Because I was still waiting for Jimmyjane to get something right. And yes, I just used the past tense. The Form 4 is “right.” It has no glitches, no stupid gimmicks, no weird shape. It gets me off without me having to re-position it a thousand times. It’s solid and reliable, and I’ll be keeping it around.

    Yet, would I describe the Form 4 as “awesome” or “worth the money”? . . . read the rest

    Review: Form 3

    Review: Form 3

    Bless Jimmyjane’s little hearts; they really are trying. They’re trying so hard to create innovative toys, but they keep promising shit that they can’t follow through on. Just as the Form 2 was supposed to function as vibrating tweezers, the Form 3 is supposed to “amplify touch” through a thin silicone membrane. Sounds awesome, I know.

    The Form 3 can be described by all the buzzwords that make my heart go pitter-patter: it’s rechargeable, made of 100% silicone, and fully waterproof, and best of all, strong. It hits all of those targets without any caveats. It’s also easy to clean and its buttons are fun to press (always a plus!). . . . read the rest

    Review: Form 6

    Review: Form 6

    I’ve been dreading writing this review. I’ve been putting it off. I’ve been typing and deleting, trying to form sentences that adequately explain my feelings without sounding like a total grump.

    But I’m going to sound like a grump no matter what, because I really don’t like the Jimmyjane Form 6. Sometimes, I come quite close to loathing it. A few people like this toy, and I objectively see why: it’s rechargeable, waterproof, has dual motors, is double-ended, and feels unique both externally and internally. That is all true, but for me, using the Form 6 puts me in a bad mood. . . . read the rest

    The fatal flaw of the Jimmyjane Form 2

    The fatal flaw of the Jimmyjane Form 2

    The Jimmyjane Form 2 was so close to perfect. Until it wasn’t anymore.

    I started noticing, while using the Form 2, that the vibrations shift. Seemingly out of nowhere, they migrate out of the ears — where they belong — and into the base. The motor starts whining loudly, and the vibrations on my clit become very diffuse and weak, so it’s nearly impossible to orgasm. This freak-out can only be rectified by pulling the toy away from the body.

    And this is not something that happens only sometimes. It happens constantly, rendering the Form 2 useless as a clitoral stimulator. . . . read the rest

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