James Deen

James Deen used to be one of my favorite male pornstars, but I no longer support him or his work. Also, the dildos made from his cock really suck.

Jack-off Journal #17

Jack-off Journal #17

[This post contains mentions of James Deen. I no longer support him or his work.]

May 17th, 2013

The boyfriend went to the convenience store for beer, and Survivor was downloading at a snails’ pace, so I whipped out my Mona 2 and had the quickest orgasm before he returned. Incredibly, the toy died literal seconds after my orgasm wore off. Fate?

Summer 2013

Can I just take a moment to tell you about porn I’ve seen recently that was glorious and/or weird? Because holy shit, Belladonna Sexual Explorer. I’ve realized that I always love watching Sinn Sage. She was great in Strapped Dykes, she was great in No Warning 7, she was great in Sinn Sage Loves Girls, she’s great in this, and every time I see her, she is a beast. . . . read the rest

Jack-off Journal #16

Jack-off Journal #16

[This post contains mentions of James Deen. I no longer support him or his work.]

January 24th, 2013

I was really excited to watch the latest video from Wolf Hudson’s website, as it starred Kimberly Kane, but turns out it was just a 9-minute smothering video and only about 3 minutes contained actual naked pussy over mouth. My next choice of smut, then, was the Hangover parody — James Deen’s scene with Dana Dearmond. At one point I minimized it, and suddenly it sounded like a tiger tearing flesh. APPARENTLY THIS WAS HAPPENING:

Something similar took place earlier in the month when I was watching Kristina Rose: Unfiltered. . . . read the rest

Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2012

Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2012

[Check out my annual best/worst tag for older and newer lists!]

Ahhh, yearly traditions! As 2012 comes to a close (how did that happen, though, seriously?!), the time has come for me to recount my most loved and most hated sex toys that I tried this year. As in 2011 and 2010, I’ll first list the best/worst toys, then give out faux awards such as “Most Heinous Battery Compartment” and “I Risked My Life For You; You Are Welcome.”

Don’t forget to comment with which toys you loved and hated this year!

Best sex toys of 2012

  • Crystal Delights Crystal Twist — I thought I’d felt it all, especially when it came to glass dildos.
  • . . . read the rest
    Jack-off Journal #15

    Jack-off Journal #15

    [This post contains mentions of James Deen. I no longer support him or his work.]

    July 27th, 2012

    Creeped myself out watching a Belladonna movie from 9 years ago called StrapOn Chicks: Bella’s Bitches. There was this super young looking chick and I had to check her date of birth to make sure I wasn’t breaking the damn law. It didn’t help that her hair was in pigtails and the dude looked like somebody’s long lost redneck relative. Who knew he was into anal?!

    Plus she kept doing everything in her power not to touch him. I couldn’t decide whether it was sad or hilarious. . . . read the rest

    Review: James Deen dildos

    Review: James Deen dildos

    [Note: I no longer support James Deen or his work.]

    THE MOST ANTICIPATED SEX TOYS OF THE YEAR… WELL, ON TUMBLR ANYWAY.

    Having followed porn star James Deen for years, I think I can call myself an honorary Deenager. I have tagged him relentlessly, featured his ridiculously hot antics time after time in my Jack-off Journals, and even defended his honor when some fool on Nightline called his popularity “deeply disturbing.”

    So when Doc Johnson announced they’d be making his cock into a dildo, yes, the once-dormant teenybopper in me flailed a bit. I’ve never wanted a sex toy molded after anyone in particular, but James is ~different~.  . . . read the rest

    Jack-off Journal #14

    Jack-off Journal #14

    [This post contains mentions of James Deen. I no longer support him or his work.]

    January 21st, 2012

    After a nap with weird dreams, I got up at 10 p.m. and drank a Rockstar. Like you do. I did some work, then jacked off to Belladonna’s Buttface. With a name like that, I guess I should’ve expected a moment like this:

    Some people wait a liiiifetime for a moooment like thiiiiis

    Meanwhile, I laughed at the PicoBong Kiki and compared the Pure Wand and Fun Wand vagina-to-vagina. Same vagina; I only have one.

    February 1st, 2012

    Gathered a gaggle of folks (Scarlett, Navigator, Amie Wee, and The Bedroom Blogger) in a chatroom to watch Melissa “The Face” Monet have sex with James “The Amazing” Deen — in My Daughter’s Boyfriend, because of course. . . . read the rest

    Review: Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex

    Review: Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex

    [This post contains mentions of James Deen. I no longer support him or his work.]

    Tristan Taormino is obsessed with the butt. This is a known fact. But somehow it’s been four years since her original guide to anal sex. Therefore, Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex is a mouthful, but what else was she gonna call it?

    Like all the Expert Guide movies, this one begins with a workshop in which Tristan dispenses info on anatomy (including the prostate), preparation, lube, lots o’ positions, and double penetration. In a much-appreciated attempt at inclusivity, Tristan notes that “while these will be demonstrated with a male giver and a female receiver, people of all genders can try these. . . . read the rest

    The latest threat to our daughters: James Deen, a respectful porn star

    The latest threat to our daughters: James Deen, a respectful porn star

    [Edit, 11/29/15: Not a stand up guy at all, it turns out. Fuck James Deen.]

    BREAKING NEWS, everyone. LISTEN CLOSELY, especially if you are raising innocent little girls. I’ve just learned that James Deen, my/your favorite male porn star of all time, is very dangerous. He is a serious threat to our girlchildren. He is lurking in the shadows of the internet, infiltrating their Tumblr dashboards with his bedroom eyes. HE MUST BE STOPPED. Or, at the very least, awkwardly questioned on TV about his lasciviousness!

    Porn Industry Attracting Teens?” is the headline for this segment of Nightline, because of course it is. . . . read the rest

    Review: Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Female Orgasms

    Review: Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Female Orgasms

    [This post contains mentions of James Deen. I no longer support him or his work.]

    Tristan Taormino does incredibly important work with her Expert Guide series of porn movies. So many “how-to” movies are yawn-inducing, but Tristan realizes that she must mix education with super-smokin’-hot sex. Sure, if you’re looking for an in-depth run-down of how to achieve orgasm, you’d be better off reading a book, but The Expert Guide to Female Orgasms does what a book can’t: it proves Tristan’s point — that orgasms come in many shapes and sizes — with moving images.

    Tristan’s 34-minute educational workshop is as helpful and non-judgmental as always. . . . read the rest

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