I've been a sex toy fiend for over 5 years. Since I can't put "exhaustive sex toy knowledge" on a resume, I put it in a blog. My reviews are snarky, honest, and delightfully void of euphemisms.
James Deen is my favorite male pornstar. He is adorable, funny, and he really pays attention to his partners. Unfortunately, the dildos made from his cock really suck.
January 24th, 2013 I was really excited to watch the latest video from Wolf Hudson’s website, as it starred Kimberly Kane, but turns out it was just a 9-minute smothering video and only about 3 minutes contained actual naked pussy over mouth. My next choice of smut, then, was the Hangover parody — James Deen’s scene with Dana [...]
Ahhh, yearly traditions! As 2012 comes to a close (how did that happen, though, seriously?!), the time has come for me to recount my most loved and most hated sex toys that I tried this year. As in 2011 and 2010, I’ll first list the best/worst toys, then give out faux awards such as “Most Heinous [...]
July 27th, 2012 Creeped myself out watching a Belladonna movie from 9 years ago called StrapOn Chicks: Bella’s Bitches. There was this super young looking chick and I had to check her date of birth to make sure I wasn’t breaking the damn law. It didn’t help that her hair was in pigtails and the [...]
THE MOST ANTICIPATED SEX TOYS OF THE YEAR… WELL, ON TUMBLR ANYWAY. Having followed porn star James Deen for years, I think I can call myself an honorary Deenager. I have tagged him relentlessly, featured his ridiculously hot antics time after time in my Jack-off Journals, and even defended his honor when some fool on Nightline called his popularity “deeply disturbing.” [...]
January 21st, 2012 After a nap with weird dreams, I got up at 10 p.m. and drank a Rockstar. Like you do. I did some work, then jacked off to Belladonna’s Buttface. With a name like that, I guess I should’ve expected a moment like this: Some people wait a liiiifetime for a moooment like [...]
Tristan Taormino is obsessed with the butt. This is a known fact. But somehow it’s been four years since her original guide to anal sex. Therefore, Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex is a mouthful, but what else was she gonna call it? Like all the Expert Guide movies, this one begins with a workshop in [...]
BREAKING NEWS, everyone. LISTEN CLOSELY, especially if you are raising innocent little girls. I’ve just learned that James Deen, my/your favorite male porn star of all time, is very dangerous. He is a serious threat to our girlchildren. He is lurking in the shadows of the internet, infiltrating their Tumblr dashboards with his bedroom eyes. HE MUST [...]
I’m finally at a point where I can shell out the cash for a monthly porn DVD subscription. THIS IS VERY EXCITING! I’ve been wanting to do this for ages. It was a bit of an experience figuring out just which service to use. I eliminated WantedList pretty quickly when I found they did not [...]
