Since I can't put "extensive sex toy knowledge" on a resume, I'm putting it in a blog. My reviews are snarky, unflinchingly honest, and delightfully void of the term "battery-operated boyfriend."
The Eroscillator is one of the best vibrators I’ve ever tried (although it’s not technically a vibrator, since it oscillates rather than vibrating). It has its own tag because I talk about it too much.
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009 Settled into bed with Roulette on my laptop and the Better than Chocolate on my clit, for probably the most simple masturbation session in a while. Didn’t use any other toys, wanting to see if the Better than Chocolate could do it for me by itself. As I suspected, the weak [...]
I have discovered it: orgasmic utopia. It first happened on October 5th; I wrote, “I have discovered the dual, synchronized orgasm. G-spot and clitoral at the same time. Life will never be the same.” I can’t think of a fancy name for it, and dual is just what it is. Annie Sprinkle calls it a [...]
You know those butt-ugly animals, like hairless cats and shivery Chinese Cresteds, that instinctively disgust you — until you fall in love with one, and then you want to bitch out anyone who dares judge your snookum-wookum on its external appearance? That’s how I’ve become, very quickly, with the Eroscillator. It is my darling, my [...]
The other night, it took me a grand total of three toys to get off. I had to take a picture; that’s how unusual it was. Normally, after I masturbate, I’m left with at least four dirty toys. The bamboo dildo is the NobEssence Linger; the black cutie is the Fun Factory Bootie. And the [...]
