I'm Epiphora, a chick who likes cats, mimosas, web design, coffee, sea foam green, and of course, receiving sex toys and porn in the mail to review on this here blog. Read more...
The Eroscillator is one of the best vibrators I’ve ever tried (although it’s not technically a vibrator, since it oscillates rather than vibrating). It has its own tag because I talk about it too much.
I already told you about my awesome plastic storage drawers, but y’all are creepers, so I figured you’d want to snoop inside the actual drawers. When I attempted to organize my toys into these drawers, I wasn’t sure how to go about it. I didn’t want to organize things by type, since I have about [...]
July 1st, 2010 I have learned a lesson about lube bottles. Before use, always cautiously test to make sure the nozzle is not plugged up. Today, attempting to lube up a toy, my lube split-streamed on me and sprayed itself on my shirt. Classy. July 6th, 2010 Having watched a lot of porn in a [...]
February 9th, 2010 Dear diary, today I learned that masturbation while drunk is really fucking annoying. I spent most of the night in a chatroom with Britni and Carnivalesq, shooting the breeze about Lady Gaga, American Idol, and the mind-blowing pick-up line that Britni got on a dating website: “I want to lay on top [...]
Reading The Big Book of Sex Toys, I learned that it’s hard to read a book about subject I already know like the back of my hand. Also a subject I’m snooty and picky about. Also a subject that I believe no book could ever adequately cover unless I wrote it myself. And even that [...]
[This is the second installment of Postcards from the Peanut Gallery! This feature chronicles my readers' experiences with toys I reviewed. If you want to tell me about yours, contact me.] I’m not surprised that my insanely extensive and enthusiastic review of the Eroscillator resulted in several of my readers lusting after it. Sarahbear took [...]
The Better Sex Synergy Pleasure System, made by the Sinclair Institute, is all about pomp and bravado. It has a stupidly long name, comes in a large box, and is endorsed by some random psychologist who doesn’t even have her own Wikipedia page. It comes with five attachments, a storage bag, a manual, and a [...]
January 2nd, 2010 Although I’d just read a terrible piece of “science,” I was too tired to go for the G-spot gold, so I picked up the Wahl and watched a bit of Eon McKai’s newest, Art School Girls Are Easy. Disappointed by how ho-hum and lacking in dirty talk the porn was, I switched [...]
[Did you read the first Jack-off Journal?] Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 I watched a threesome scene in The King of Coochie 4, with Sasha Grey, Sunny Lane, and Tom Byron. Sasha and Sunny were great, but wow, Tom is a creeper and a half. Things that I am entirely certain need to be outlawed in porn [...]
