Eroscillator

The Eroscillator is one of the best vibrators I’ve ever tried (although it’s not technically a vibrator, since it oscillates rather than vibrating). It has its own tag because I talk about it too much.

Review: My Celebrator

Review: My Celebrator

What is life if not a series of attempts at proving arrogant men wrong?

I never wanted to have to review My Celebrator. I’ve known about this vibrator for years; people like to excitedly email me and alert me to its existence, flailing about its supposed oscillation[. . . read more]

Eroscillator 2 Plus vs. Top Deluxe: is 35% more power worth $55 more?

Eroscillator 2 Plus vs. Top Deluxe: is 35% more power worth $55 more?

For years, literally, ever since I dubbed the Eroscillator “the best sex toy I’ve ever tried,” people have been asking me whether it’s worth the extra cash to get the Top Deluxe version of the toy. I’ve always had to say “I don’t know; mine is the more powerful one and I’ve[. . . read more]

Peek inside my sex toy storage

Peek inside my sex toy storage

I already told you about my awesome plastic storage drawers, but y’all are creepers, so I figured you’d want to snoop inside the actual drawers.

When I attempted to organize my toys into these drawers, I wasn’t sure how to go about it. I didn’t want[. . . read more]

Jack-off Journal #10

Jack-off Journal #10

July 1st, 2010
I have learned a lesson about lube bottles. Before use, always cautiously test to make sure the nozzle is not plugged up. Today, attempting to lube up a toy, my lube split-streamed on me and sprayed itself on my shirt. Classy.
July 6th, 2010
Having watched a lot of porn in a wave of deleting,[. . . read more]

Jack-off Journal #9

Jack-off Journal #9

June 6th, 2010
Here’s a little secret for you: I’ve been jacking off to words lately. I know, blasphemy. I usually hate erotica. I generally don’t fantasize. I prefer graphic depictions of genitals going into other genitals. But this particular fiction — a slash pairing which is morally objectionable on more than one level — is hot to[. . . read more]

Jack-off Journal #6

Jack-off Journal #6

March 4th, 2010
You know what’s hard to watch? An hour and 16 minutes of nothing but cocksucking. But I did it — boy, I did it — in the name of reviewing. Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio, that is. I watched it in the bedroom, with[. . . read more]

Jack-off Journal #5

Jack-off Journal #5

February 9th, 2010
Dear diary, today I learned that masturbation while drunk is really fucking annoying. I spent most of the night in a chatroom with Britni and Carnivalesq, shooting the breeze about Lady Gaga, American Idol, and the mind-blowing pick-up line that Britni got on a dating website: “I want to lay[. . . read more]

Review: The Big Book of Sex Toys

Review: The Big Book of Sex Toys

Reading The Big Book of Sex Toys, I learned that it’s hard to read a book about subject I already know like the back of my hand. Also a subject I’m snooty and picky about. Also a subject that I believe no book could ever adequately cover unless I wrote it myself. And even that[. . . read more]