butt toys

My blanket tag for all things THE BUTT. I just like the word “butt” better than “anal.”

Jack-off Journal #20

Jack-off Journal #20

October 24, 2015 My secret shame: I am terrible at remembering to pack lube when I travel. And porn. On this #dildoholiday, I had to borrow my friend’s Good Clean Love, and I had to stream my porn because my laptop has nada. Luckily, I’d been given access to Fat Girl Fantasies, but I still had to suffer with small-town buffering. I watched two scenes: April Flores and Isiah Maxwell and James Darling and Cinnamon Maxxine. Both pretty scorching hot, but James and Cinnamon’s took the cake for two reasons: 1) James’ INTENSE, DEEPLY FOCUSED face as he makes Cinnamon squirt, and 2) the whimsical cat painting in the background. Mostly I used the Womanizer and dildos from Downunder Toys. Lost count of my orgasms: 4, maybe . . . read more

Review: Hole Punch Toys

Review: Hole Punch Toys

Get free U.S. shipping at Hole Punch Toys with code EPIPHORA. There’s a little operation in Saint Paul, Minnesota, making the world a better place. Quietly, without fanfare, they’re making hand-poured silicone sex toys in fantastical shapes. Carrot and radish butt plugs. Popsicle dildos. Ice cream anal toys. Rocket ship strap-ons. And I didn’t even know they existed back when I got an email from them with the subject line Do Your Worst. Well. The owner of Hole Punch Toys, Colin, was emailing to ask that I review something of theirs. “You will absolutely tear it apart, I am sure,” he wrote. “However, I think it would be excellent fodder for your wit.” His certainty was alarming. How could I hate an ice cream shaped butt plug or a . . . read more

Review: Boosty

Review: Boosty

The Boosty is being discontinued. Get it now at Good Vibes, Pleasure Chest, or She Bop. When I saw the Fun Factory Boosty for the first time, I murmured, “I need it in my soul.” 80% of that reaction was in response to the turquoise color option, but it’s not only that — this butt plug just has a cheerful, persuasive aura about it. However, now that I’ve had it in my soul, and vis-à-vis in my butt, I am stumped on how to describe the sensation it creates. With those ripples, you’d think it would be a pronounced, observable feeling — but my butt registers it mostly as size. (I can’t feel the color. Damnit.) The Boosty is the sequel to Fun Factory’s Bootie, which is my favorite silicone butt plug . . . read more

Review: Geisha Plug and B Balls

Review: Geisha Plug and B Balls

I can’t prove it — unless Google Talk instant message logs count as evidence — but I had this idea first. Rolly kegel balls in a butt plug? Oh yes. Years ago. You can imagine my delight when not one but two companies came out with products closely following my vision. You can imagine my despair when both of them failed me. The Marc Dorcel Geisha Plug was the first to let me down. First with the name, because NO. Second with the “diamond” base. Chintzy and laughable, it looks like one of those fake mirrors a Barbie would hold. But mostly with the sensation. The Geisha Plug’s bulb is smaller than a marshmallow, so it’s easily inserted… but something feels immediately, . . . read more

Review: We-Vibe Tango Pleasure Mate Collection (Dusk and Glow)

Review: We-Vibe Tango Pleasure Mate Collection (Dusk and Glow)

I’m in love. Its name is the We-Vibe Dusk, and I’m using it all wrong. This toy is supposed to be a vibrating butt plug. It looks like a butt plug. It functions adequately as a butt plug. But something compelled me to put this toy in my vagina, and it was absolutely one of the smartest things I’ve ever done. Like, on par with buying my first mug warmer, or thinking “hm, maybe I’ll start a blog.” Immediately, the Tango vibrator in the base nestled up against my clit, so closely that it seemed there was a chance of bringing myself to orgasm without touching anything. Just sitting there like a blob. Could I do it? I gripped the Dusk with my PC muscles, pulling it . . . read more

Saying goodbye to Whipspider Rubberworks

Saying goodbye to Whipspider Rubberworks

Want a fantastical dildo in the shape of a unicorn horn or tentacle? This is your last chance. It appears that Maine-based Whipspider Rubberworks is dead. SheVibe tried to place a re-stock order with them last April, and haven’t heard from them since. Whipspider’s Etsy store is empty and they haven’t posted on Facebook or Twitter since March. I emailed them but have not heard back. It is looking grim. [Edit: their site is gone now, too.] This is really upsetting because there is no other company quite like Whipspider. Their 100% silicone designs are colorful, whimsical, and incredibly detailed. You can tell that a lot of love goes into them — which makes sense, as they’re just a tiny 3-friend operation. Whipspider made . . . read more

Epiphora's sex toy gift-giving guide

Epiphora’s sex toy gift-giving guide

If you ask me, sex toys are way better gifts than socks or body wash. Now I may be biased, considering I own over 400 of them and have been testing them and reviewing them for six years, but you know. The point is, I have OPINIONS about things that go on vulvas and in vaginas and butts, and even sometimes over penises. Today, I was on Sex Out Loud Radio telling the universe all about my top sex toy gift ideas — plus my tips for picking out a sex toy for someone else. As an accompaniment, here’s the written version — along with photos of the toys and links to my reviews. Where should you shop? My favorite stores are . . . read more

Ask Piph #5

Ask Piph #5

Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. I was wondering if you’ve ever had an allergic reaction to any of your toys, or what you might suggest someone do if they did? (Other than buying 100% silicone/using a condom/etc. What if it’s too late, and they realize they’re having a reaction, what should they do?) I’ve never experienced any sort of reaction to a toy, so I had to phone friends on this one. Thanks to Metis Black, InsatiablyTaken, Beck, Lorax of Sex, Dangerous Lilly, septicidal, and many others on Facebook for their enormous help. Also, please remember that I am nowhere near a doctor. If you have washed the toy before use, what you will most . . . read more

Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2012

Epiphora’s best and worst sex toys of 2012

[Check out my annual best/worst tag for older and newer lists!] Ahhh, yearly traditions! As 2012 comes to a close (how did that happen, though, seriously?!), the time has come for me to recount my most loved and most hated sex toys that I tried this year. As in 2011 and 2010, I’ll first list the best/worst toys, then give out faux awards such as “Most Heinous Battery Compartment” and “I Risked My Life For You; You Are Welcome.” Don’t forget to comment with which toys you loved and hated this year! Best sex toys of 2012 Crystal Delights Crystal Twist — I thought I’d felt it all, especially when it came to glass dildos. I had not. The Crystal Twist is an . . . read more