It is no longer good enough for us to have sexcapades, folks — now we must sexpand our sexual horizons with the Shots Toys Sexpander. It’s a scorpion… no, it’s a caterpillar with a beetle attached… no, it’s a bug that scurries across the floor in a cartoon to symbolize an empty room. Empty like the head [...]

So this is an actual thing. I don’t know why it’s called The Original Peter Piper, because I’m pretty sure the original Peter Piper is the one from 1813 who picked a peck of pickled peppers, not a glass dildo for potheads. But then again, this is from Pipedream, the same people who brought us the failtastic [...]

[Welcome to Movie Night, a new feature in which I'll snark about movies and TV that address sex toys, porn, and sexuality. I hope it makes you laugh!] Missionary Positions is a documentary from 2005 about a quaint pair of minister dudes, Craig and Mike, who had a ~crazy~ idea: to, uh, do something about [...]

Do you dream of being the COOLEST LOVER ON THE BLOCK? Do you regularly mistake torture devices for romantic accoutrements? Want to give your lady a massage she will never, ever forget (because it will be the sole reason she broke up with you)? Look no further than Pleasure/Love Mitts. They come in a host of alluring [...]

Lovehoney sure likes to keep secrets from me. First it was the Sqweel, and now the ominously-named Rock Box, which I had to apply to review without knowing much beyond the fact that it was THE WORLD’S MOST POWERFUL SEX TOY!!!1!!1. Considering that phrase no longer means anything to me, undeterred and with a flourish, I [...]

Have you been jonesing for a deep look into the female psyche? Then What Girls Like is the porno for you! Seriously, it’s uncanny how much this film understands womankind. Case in point: the painting scene. I have learned much from this scene, like that paint fumes are an aphrodisiac. And that girls like getting [...]

I was going to ignore PicoBong altogether. Although I was initially drawn to the brand because, well, LELO invented it and some of the toys come in turquoise, I quickly found out that the toys were about as stimulating as rubbing a rock on your genitals. Besides, I give the side eye to anything that [...]

A while back, I heard rumblings of some misogynistic fool named Jack Hutson emailing bloggers about his $47 blowjob ebook. We found his promo website, and there were fits of laughter and despair all over Twitter, because, well, look: The whole site is a condescending, badly-written plea to “girls.” According to all-knowing Jack, our men [...]