Since I can't put "extensive sex toy knowledge" on a resume, I'm putting it in a blog. My reviews are snarky, unflinchingly honest, and delightfully void of the term "battery-operated boyfriend."
It’s almost 2012, so you (maybe) know what that means — it’s time for me to list my top and bottom toys of 2011! Remember, like last year, this list includes toys that I acquired/reviewed in 2011, not necessarily toys that were released this year. Anyway, let’s get to it! Best sex toys of 2011 [...]
[This is my 200th review! Stay tuned for a celebratory giveaway!] Oh my god. This thing. You guys. This thing. It is SO GLORIOUS. It’s been nearly a year and a half since I fell in deep love with dual-density VixSkin, but not once in that time have I tried a realistic VixSkin dildo that [...]
Click to embiggen. Yes, my friends! The time has come! No longer will you have to slave away on the internets trying to figure out WTF that-one-toy-in-Epiphora’s-header is. No longer will you have to sheepishly email/tweet me and awkwardly try to describe the location of the toy you need identified. I took the picture that [...]
The Vixen Creations Outlaw is a beast. I think we can all agree on that. Towering at a freakish 8 1/2″ tall, with a girth of 2″ and an insanely detailed shaft, there is no denying the Outlaw’s presence. Mine is in the delicious chocolate color, which is deep and rich — probably my favorite of [...]
I did it. I got Johnny — a realistic dildo with BALLS. And VEINS! And… and… balls! (Keen readers will point out that I’ve already had one realistic dildo with balls: Mr. Man. This is true. Mr. Man’s balls are very perky, though, which somehow makes it easier to consider them anything-but-balls. Johnny’s balls droop [...]
Damn! You guys really like dildos, don’t you?! The response to my Squeeze some VixSkin giveaway was immense. I wish I could give all of you the VixSkin dildo of your choice. But there can only be one winner. And that winner is… HushPlushie, who chose Raquel. Congrats! Thanks again to everyone who entered, and be sure [...]
Since falling for the Fleshlight, my boyfriend has had a distinct distaste for strokers that feel — as he puts it — too much like extensions of his hand. He likes the heft and hardness of the Fleshlight case; he feels it provides a more realistic, sex-like experience than most strokers. Unfortunately, this puts regular ol’ [...]
