I've been a sex toy fiend for over 5 years. Since I can't put "exhaustive sex toy knowledge" on a resume, I put it in a blog. My reviews are snarky, honest, and delightfully void of euphemisms.
Swedish luxury sex toy brand LELO makes some fantastic toys. They come with great warranties, and their rechargeables tend to hold their charges FOREVER. My favorites: Mona 2, Mia, Ella, and the Luna Beads.
The LELO Mia and I go way back. Almost to the beginning of this blog. A lot of things have changed since then — for instance, I am now a hardcore Google Chrome fan, and the clunky Compaq laptop pictured in my original Mia review has been replaced by a sleek white Sony Vaio1. With [...]
Whooooosh! That’s the sound of my red sex toy giveaway going by in a flash. Usually my giveaways last a bit longer, but I wanted to finish this one in time to get the prizes shipped out and in the winners’ hands by Valentine’s Day. And so it is over! The winner of the LELO Mona [...]
This is so disappointing, you guys. And a sex toy reviewer’s nightmare. But I just cannot feel the LELO Luna Beads Mini in my vagina. I really really love the original Luna Beads. They are my favorite vag balls. They make me want to dance, and I don’t dance. I never had an issue with their size. [...]
It’s kind of ridiculous how much I like my LELO Mona 2. Fuck it, love. It just feels weird to say that because the Mona is such a simple toy. It’s not a revolutionary shape, and in fact, it’s been around for some time and I’ve all but ignored it. So it is sort of [...]
Wow. I’m about 99% certain my 4-year blogiversary giveaway was the most successful giveaway in the history of this blog. And that’s a tall order considering some of the hella cool giveaways I’ve done in the past. I am humbled by all the amazing comments you left offering improvement ideas. I’ve already implemented one of [...]
Four motherfuckin’ years, my friends. That’s how long this blog has been chugging along. If you know me at all, you know I’m a fan of throwing epic blogiversary giveaways each October to thank everyone for following my escapades, and this year is no different. Well, except it’s even BETTER than years past, because I [...]
Have a question for me? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here. Your boyfriend seems to be pretty comfortable with your reviewing. I’m curious about your choice to remain anonymous since you seem to be well received. Sorry if this is too personal or involves family dynamics. LOVE your blog. Thank [...]
March 5th, 2009 — all laid out and drying after a nice thorough boil in a big pot. Some dildos change, but boiling day remains the same. Pictured sorta left to right: Phallix Inside-Out Spiral Rib Double Dong, Tantus Ripple, Tantus Alumina Revolve, LELO Ella, Phallix Dual-Sided Swirled Rib, Big Teaze Toys Dai-Do #4, Tantus [...]
