Click to embiggen. Yes, my friends! The time has come! No longer will you have to slave away on the internets trying to figure out WTF that-one-toy-in-Epiphora’s-header is. No longer will you have to sheepishly email/tweet me and awkwardly try to describe the location of the toy you need identified. I took the picture that [...]

This vibrator is not purple. It is fuchsia. Let it be known. Despite every product photo ever depicting it as a nice, moderate color of purple, it is instead a bright fuchsia that made me gasp when I opened the package. I’ll survive, but I just wanted you to know. The Vanity by Jopen line is a mysterious line [...]

Dearest Turbo Glider, Hello, my dear. It’s been a while, I know. A few trysts here and there, but things between us are nothing like they used to be. I understand if you feel neglected; I barely get you out from the drawer at all. The truth is, my clit now prefers less buzzy, more unique [...]

[This review is an April Fool's joke; please, never buy this abomination of a toy!] The 1st thing I noticed about the Cherry-Scented Vibro Dong was his alluring scent. OMG, it reminded me of cherry blossoms on a beautiful walk in the park… I never thought a sex toy could make me feel so relaxed [...]

It seems that making miniature Hitachi knock-offs is in style. I’ve already found my mini Hitachi knock-off lover — the Fairy Mini Mini Wand — but I’m interested in other reincarnations. And the My Mini Miracle Massager, created by California Exotic, is one of the newest. Although all the Ms in its name make me [...]

The Impulse Fantasy Kit was supposed to be the answer to my need for more power than the Xtreme Pack G-spot bullet provides. Same company, same bullet shape, only the Impulse Fantasy Kit takes a whopping 4 AAs instead of 2. I got the idea into my head that I was going to get my [...]

I knew my Xtreme Pack G-spot bullet would die; it was just a matter of time. It had already outlived its price tag and the amount of times I recklessly washed it. The inevitable happened a couple weeks ago. And now, after a year and a half of wonderful times, I am laying my Xtreme [...]

The Impulse Kit Bunny Arouser looks like a joke: a plastic, slightly pointed pink bullet with a TPR bunny-shaped sleeve. It is, essentially, a rabbit vibrator’s clitoral stimulator severed from the rabbit. This is fine with me, as I recently denounced rabbit vibrators. The ones I’ve tried have failed at hitting my clit, and besides, I prefer [...]