Apr 092016
 

Review: Hole Punch Toys

Get free U.S. shipping at Hole Punch Toys with code EPIPHORA.

There’s a little operation in Saint Paul, Minnesota, making the world a better place. Quietly, without fanfare, they’re making hand-poured silicone sex toys in fantastical shapes. Carrot and radish butt plugs. Popsicle dildos. Ice cream anal toys. Rocket ship strap-ons. And I didn’t even know they existed back when I got an email from them with the subject line Do Your Worst.

Well.

The owner of Hole Punch Toys, Colin, was emailing to ask that I review something of theirs. “You will absolutely tear it apart, I am sure,” he wrote. “However, I think it would be excellent fodder for your wit.”

His certainty was alarming. How could I hate an ice cream shaped[. . . read more]

Apr 012016
 

Review: Tiny Dildos

[This post is an April Fool’s Day joke. However, because I am
very dedicated to my jokes, I actually did do all these things.]

Perhaps “tiny” is condescending. “Diminutive”? “Miniature”? “Wee”? I don’t want to be flippant or rude, but it’s an objective fact that these dildos are roughly 1/60th the size of their, shall I say, phallotypical counterparts. This is not going to be girth mania. Lowing your expectations for pleasure might be a good idea. Rewiring your brain, wiping all data about previously-experienced insertables: encouraged.

Over the years I’ve amassed quite the collection of tiny silicone dildos from TantusBad DragonFun Factory, and Vamp. They accumulate in my[. . . read more]

Mar 222016
 

Sex toy news: squirting dildos and flapping tongues for your dick

Vixen has released a peculiar dildo called the VixenAire Mustang. It inflates when you apply pressure to the base. I love my Mustang, but the VixenAire only inflates near the base of the toy, which I find weird???

For ages, I’ve hoped a company aside from Bad Dragon would invent a silicone squirting dildo. It has become so with the Pop!

A SQWEEL FOR YOUR DICK. It looks like a torture device, but so do all the Sqweels.

Fun Factory’s latest vibes are Lady Bi, a rabbit, and Moody, a curved G-spot/prostate toy with a textured flared base. It comes in orange!

Um, yes, my need to rub these[. . . read more]

Mar 142016
 

Ask Piph #8

Want to ask me a question? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com, or ask here.

I’ve been on the search for a gold silicone dildo for a while and I can’t seem to find one. I just wanna pretend I’m getting plowed by Apollo, is that so much to ask?
Oh, they are hard to come by! I’m only aware of two that come pre-made: the special edition gold Vixen Leo which is sold only at Babeland (I liiiike the Leo), and the Godemiche Adam.

Otherwise, Vamp makes custom designs, including glittery toys, and there are dildo-makers on Etsy who could probably mix you the gold of your dreams.
What would you say were the biggest eureka moments you had on[. . . read more]

Mar 052016
 

Review: Boosty When I saw the Fun Factory Boosty for the first time, I murmured, “I need it in my soul.” 80% of that reaction was in response to the turquoise color option, but it’s not only that — this butt plug just has a cheerful, persuasive aura about it.

However, now that I’ve had it in my soul, and vis-à-vis in my butt, I am stumped on how to describe the sensation it creates. With those ripples, you’d think it would be a pronounced, observable feeling — but my butt registers it mostly as size. (I can’t feel the color. Damnit.)

The Boosty is the sequel to Fun Factory’s Bootie, which is my favorite silicone butt plug and part of my holy trinity of [. . . read more]

Feb 162016
 

Hell Yes: SelfDelve produce-shaped sex toys

These are dildos. Due to the graphic nature of this blog I would normally not need to specify that, but this could more easily pass as a basket of artificial fruits and vegetables. The sex toy world has given us glass versions of produce before — chili peppers, eggplants, cornbananas — but a huge selection of body-safe silicone ones? Not until now! THERE’S A FUCKING ASPARAGUS, YOU GUYS.

I found out about this company on a HOT TIP from a reader, who wrote:

I’m in Europe right now and I discovered a lovely indie shop in Berlin that carries this brand of dildos: SelfDelve. They’re handmade here in Germany. The silicone is really nice, a bit soft. I got a very realistic (though unripe

[. . . read more]

Feb 022016
 

Review: Downunder Toys

Special deal! Get 10% off and free shipping at Downunder Toys with code EPIPHORA.

Contrary to popular belief, I can be sweet-talked.

Start by sending me a nice, gracious email. Acknowledge the work I do in the world (“your honest approach to this field makes my heart sing,” “I’m still laughing over your LELO Hula Beads review”). Introduce yourself without condescending to me (hint: if you’re a sex toy company, I probably already know that you exist). Then… the cherry on top… the pièce de résistance… drop a sentence like this:

I really think I’d like to challenge your love of VixSkin — I know, a bold claim, but hey, if you don’t set a challenge, where’s the fun in life?

So,[. . . read more]

Jan 142016
 

Learn The Business of Blogging About Sex -- on your schedule! What’s that, you say? You wanna be a badass sex blogger and pay the bills? Uncover my blogging secrets? Find out all my strange productivity techniques and social media philosophies?


Now you can, anytime you want! The Business of Blogging About Sex, the intensive online class I run with JoEllen Notte (Redhead Bedhead), is officially back and better than ever! Months in the making, now there are even more ways to learn to accommodate different schedules, learning styles, and needs! One thing remains the same, though: you can (and should) stay in your pajamas as you learn.

I’m kind of really proud.

The various lessons, which you can purchase individually or in packages, cover everything JoEllen and I have learned in our decade of combined experience sex[. . . read more]

Dec 312015
 

Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2015

[Check out my annual best/worst tag for older lists!]

What a year 2015 was! I showed my face on the internet and subsequently used it to prank all of you. I got emotional about what being a writer means to me, then had my work published in Best Sex Writing of the Year. I managed to get out of the house a couple times, to attend the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summitan epic sex blogger retreat, and two smaller #dildoholiday vacations with friends. When the universe manifested yet another “scientific” “study” “proving” that[. . . read more]