I don’t normally have sexual dreams, but I’ve had dreams about the Njoy Eleven. They were always incredible jack-off sessions consisting of intense G-spot stimulation and unspeakable pleasure. At nearly $300 on most sites, the solid stainless steel Eleven is one of the most expensive sex toys ever made, and therefore should be the stuff [...]

The Fun Factory MiniVibe Spring is a little pipsqueak of a vibrator in the same family as Fun Factory’s Bubbles, Ocean, and Flash — all smallish, rechargeable, fully waterproof silicone vibrators that charge magnetically. Of those options, I chose the Spring because IT COMES IN GREEN. Yeah, I’m easily swayed. So what? Not sure whether it [...]

I have never seen a sex toy angled like Vamp Talula. I mean, this thing is nuts. Just look at it. It juts out crazily. It falls over if I try to stand it up. And when I fuck myself with it, the bottom of the base faces the ceiling straight on. My Talula is the [...]

You have come here wondering if the Njoy Pure Wand is deserving of its legendary status. If this parenthesis-shaped pound and a half of medical-grade stainless steel can indeed change your — and your G-spot’s — life. The answer is yes. Holy fuck, yes. Your G-spot will never be the same. You don’t even know. [...]

The Luxotiq Isis is a bit of a goody-goody. It’s sugary pink in color, with smooth, clean, harmless lines. It comes snuggled in white satin, in an elegant white box that closes with a ribbon (okay, okay, all Luxotiq toys come that way, but shhh). And in use, it never tries anything too crazy. It [...]

There is something about Kimberly Kane’s brain that I really like. My Own Master, her latest directorial movie, reminds me exactly why. Static on the TV in the background? Sailor hats? Music that I actually like? What is this? Surely it cannot be a porno. A little creativity goes a long way in porn. Remember [...]

The Je Joue SaSi is a few years old now, but it’s still often touted as one of the most innovative sex toys on the block. It’s just like oral sex! It remembers what you like! Look at the rolly-ball go! It’s a technological wonder! And yes, the SaSi does look exciting. It features a [...]

I did it. I got Johnny — a realistic dildo with BALLS. And VEINS! And… and… balls! (Keen readers will point out that I’ve already had one realistic dildo with balls: Mr. Man. This is true. Mr. Man’s balls are very perky, though, which somehow makes it easier to consider them anything-but-balls. Johnny’s balls droop [...]