This is a quick snapshot I took when I came up with the idea for my avatar. I wanted to see if it would look as good as it did in my head. It almost did. I was too lazy to make an actual latte when I finally did shoot my avatar photo in January [...]

The Jollies Jollet: it looks so simple, but there is virtually no other dildo like it. And not just because it’s polka-dotted. I mean, that helps quite a bit, but it’s not the main reason the Jollet rocks. Made of 100% silicone, the Jollet is one of the most rigid silicone toys I’ve squeezed. It’s [...]

At a cozy little bed & breakfast, we celebrated our fourth anniversary. Dream Toys Lemon Drops, NobEssence Linger, Acuvibe Mini I had probably the best orgasm I’ve ever had during sex, with the Acuvibe Mini… which is very dead now. Now we are off to another B&B to celebrate half a decade together. This year I [...]

[Note: I no longer recommend the Form 2. Read why here.] It’s the tweezers! The tooth! The chopsticks! Or… the rabbit ears, if you want to be boring. It’s the Jimmyjane Form 2, a two-pronged pipsqueak that I’ve lusted after for a while now. Yes, I finally got my grubby hands on it, and I [...]

Do you need sex toy storage that could probably withstand a hurricane and also lights up inside? I’ve got a solution for you. It’s called the Tunti Illuminating Boudoir Toybox, made by Tunti Enterprises. Tunti Enterprises is a small indie business run by a wonderful woman named Ilse Thompson, who has a really cute voice. Personally, I only buy [...]

You know those butt-ugly animals, like hairless cats and shivery Chinese Cresteds, that instinctively disgust you — until you fall in love with one, and then you want to bitch out anyone who dares judge your snookum-wookum on its external appearance? That’s how I’ve become, very quickly, with the Eroscillator. It is my darling, my [...]

I always wondered why nobody tried to really shrink the Hitachi Magic Wand. That thing is unwieldy as fuck — heavy, long, with a head that really is bigger than it needs to be. It numbs my entire vulva within minutes — an unfortunate side effect of using the most powerful vibrator in existence. Finally, [...]

The other night, it took me a grand total of three toys to get off. I had to take a picture; that’s how unusual it was. Normally, after I masturbate, I’m left with at least four dirty toys. The bamboo dildo is the NobEssence Linger; the black cutie is the Fun Factory Bootie. And the [...]