2013 was a good year. I attended CatalystCon East AND CatalystCon West (even doing a panel), hit 500 posts, became a superhero, conducted my most elaborate April Fool’s joke ever, and oh yeah, I was gifted a $1,345 Sybian. I spilled my guts about the horrible sex toys I used to lust after, why I hate pink, and why I think sex toys should not be called . . .
If you ask me, sex toys are way better gifts than socks or body wash. Now I may be biased, considering I own over 400 of them and have been testing them and reviewing them for six years, but you know. The point is, I have OPINIONS about things that go on vulvas and in . . .
In 2007 when I started reviewing sex toys, I knew nothing about them. Oh, I knew that jelly was bad in theory, but I hadn’t yet smelled the rancid, gooey, overpowering scent that characterizes it, or felt the agonizing burning sensation that it can cause (still haven’t — insert sign of the cross here). I figured expensive toys . . .
Welcome, EdenFantasys refugees, ex-pats, survivors. Gather ’round. Did you recently decide to leave EdenFantasys after their latest bombshell? Worried that you are now like a ship without an anchor, lost at sea without the forums and the people you used to interact with? Still wanting to review sex toys, but not wanting to support a . . .
Or, “CatalystCon: where children teethe on cock rings and I shake the hand of the man who invented one of the best dildos in history” IT’S ALREADY OVER. Who’s surprised, though, really? Catalyst was bound to go by in the blink of an eye. Even staying up late, as per usual for me, did not . . .
So you wanna become a sex toy reviewer. I know, it sounds so glamorous and enticing. Packages bursting with free sex toys! Masturbation as a job! Merely writing about how something makes you feel! Instantaneous fame and fortune! But of course, it is not like that. One does not just become an awesome, popular sex . . .
Ahhh, yearly traditions! As 2012 comes to a close (how did that happen, though, seriously?!), the time has come for me to recount my most loved and most hated sex toys that I tried this year. As in 2011 and 2010, I’ll first list the best/worst toys, then give out faux awards such as “Most Heinous . . .
It’s almost 2012, so you (maybe) know what that means — it’s time for me to list my top and bottom toys of 2011! Remember, like last year, this list includes toys that I acquired/reviewed in 2011, not necessarily toys that were released this year. Anyway, let’s get to it! Best sex toys of 2011 . . .
I’m starting a tradition, peeps! Every year around this time, I’m gonna make a list of my top and bottom toys for the year, and give out entirely fake awards to various toys that have earned them. However, it’s not going to be about toys that were released that year (despite living on the internet . . .