Banter

Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about pornstars ruining our daughters, sometimes about horrific blowjob advice. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and Toybox Reports.

15 things I learned buying a house as a sex blogger

15 things I learned buying a house as a sex blogger

Most of my summer was spent in the throes of buying a house, an experience that was completely new to me. As a person who earns most of their income through nefarious and elusive internet means, as well as a person who masturbates frequently and more peculiarly than most, I had some… unique considerations as a home buyer. My . . .

An abridged guide to decoding horseshit articles about the G-spot's existence

An abridged guide to decoding horseshit articles about the G-spot's existence

Less than a month ago we were attacked by headlines screaming that the G-spot doesn’t exist, and here we are again, with yet another news source “reporting” (I use that word quite loosely) on yet another “study” “proving” that the G-spot is a “myth” and EVERYONE CALM DOWN AND TOUCH YOUR CLITORIS. It’s not the first, . . .

I got back-ups of my favorite vibrator and life is perfect

I got back-ups of my favorite vibrator and life is perfect

I don’t know if you’ve heard: I love my LELO Mona 2. So much that I yell things like “THE MONA IS WHAT GOD WANTS TO BE WHEN HE GROWS UP” when I’m drunk. So much that I have nightmares about LELO changing it. So much that I rush to comfort it when it falls off my nightstand. . . .

Postcards from the Peanut Gallery: Mustang

Postcards from the Peanut Gallery: Mustang

I knew I was in for something good because the email began, “I feel like only you can understand the breathtaking sense of wonder and accomplishment I’m feeling.” Unsurprisingly, the email was about squirting. Despite already owning and loving the G-spot god that is the Pure Wand, the letter writer experienced her first ever ejaculation with the . . .

Ask Piph #6: Pure Wand edition

Ask Piph #6: Pure Wand edition

Have a question for me? Email me at hey.epiphora [at] gmail [dot] com. Welcome to a special edition of Ask Piph focused solely on the legendary njoy Pure Wand! If you somehow haven’t heard of the Pure Wand, it is a solid, double-ended piece of stainless steel that many (including myself) regard as the G-spot’s/prostate’s savior. . . .

Saying goodbye to Whipspider Rubberworks

Saying goodbye to Whipspider Rubberworks

Want a fantastical dildo in the shape of a unicorn horn or tentacle? It may be your last chance. Even I may be late to this announcement, but it appears that Maine-based Whipspider Rubberworks is dying and/or dead. SheVibe tried to place a re-stock order with them last April, and haven’t heard from them since. . . .