Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about pornstars ruining our daughters, sometimes about horrific blowjob advice. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and Toybox Reports.

Jan 112014
Saying goodbye to Whipspider Rubberworks

Want a fantastical dildo in the shape of a unicorn horn or tentacle? It may be your last chance. Even I may be late to this announcement, but it appears that Maine-based Whipspider Rubberworks is dying and/or dead. SheVibe tried to place a re-stock order with them last April, and haven’t heard from them since. [...]

Dec 072013
Today in my life... a stranger on the internet gifted me a Sybian

In this episode of True Life: I’m a Sex Toy Reviewer, I am in disbelief as I unbox this toy, because I still don’t believe that someone would send this to me, ever, let alone for free… But there it is. A Sybian. In all its hulking glory. Safe and sound, with the grotesque attachments neatly [...]

Nov 122013
I can't sum up CatalystCon

It began in the airport, with my iced coffee in tow, and two war vets grumbling to each other about Obama taking away all our guns. The flight was uneventful, save for the creeping, almost overwhelming sense of excitement and importance I was feeling — punctuated by surprisingly decent airplane coffee and one of the [...]

Oct 292013
Discontinuation alert: Vixen neon dildos

I HATE WRITING POSTS LIKE THIS, but you guys deserve to know before it’s too late. These beauties from Vixen Creations are going away. All neon Mavericks, including the tie dye one, are being discontinued, as is the neon green Mustang. I guess we can’t have nice things. That appears to be the only explanation. (I’m sure [...]

Oct 252013
The best birthday presents

Today, I am 27. I have come to expect very little from people over the years, but Ashley Manta took this glorious photo of her cat plus the Pure Wand and Echo, Sandra emailed me singing happy birthday, and someone sent me a picture of their boobs with “Happy B-Day Piph” written on them. I feel so special. [...]