Banter

Ramblings, usually about sex toys, sometimes about my gaping vagina, sometimes about pornstars ruining our daughters, sometimes about horrific blowjob advice. Notable subcategories include Disingenuous Assholes and Toybox Reports.

Review: Automatic lube dispenser

Review: Automatic lube dispenser

The simplehuman Sensor Pump squirting lube onto the njoy Pure Wand.

Many a time, I stared at it longingly in the aisles of Bed, Bath, & Beyond. Among the as-seen-on-TV contraptions and glistening stainless steel bathroom accessories it beckoned, goading me to use it for nefarious purposes. I’d never spend $40 on[. . . read more]

Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

Buzzy vs. rumbly: the most important aspect of a vibrator

The Lovehoney Flash (left) is a buzzy vibrator. The Doxy Skittle (right) is rumbly.

Perusing the sex toy exhibitor booths at AVN, turning on and off strange vibrators from no-name companies, one word kept flittering into my mind: buzzy.

Ugh, too buzzy. What a shame. The design is cool, but it’s so fucking buzzy. Nope.

I even met an[. . . read more]

Together, we form one fully functional human

Together, we form one fully functional human

Sex toy temporary tattoos and the lengths we go through to photograph them.
Photo by Kate Sinclaire.

7 sex bloggers were standing outside a glass blowing studio. We’d been waiting for an hour and there was no sign of the studio owners, who’d previously agreed to a private glass dildo making session. It was[. . . read more]

How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

How I know squirting is real (and also not pee)

So I was interviewed for a piece about female ejaculation/squirting for Fusion recently. The article finally went live, and lo and behold, I’m not mentioned at all because some new bullshit study came out that had to trump everything. Also, they needed to make room for all those animated GIFs.

I’m no scientist and I’m not in the business[. . . read more]

15 things I learned buying a house as a sex blogger

15 things I learned buying a house as a sex blogger

Most of my summer was spent in the throes of buying a house, an experience that was completely new to me. As a person who earns most of their income through nefarious and elusive internet means, as well as a person who masturbates frequently and more peculiarly than most, I had some…[. . . read more]

An abridged guide to decoding horseshit articles about the G-spot's existence

An abridged guide to decoding horseshit articles about the G-spot's existence

[What happens when the media misrepresents squirting? Similar rage.]

Less than a month ago we were attacked by headlines screaming that the G-spot doesn’t exist, and here[. . . read more]