May 212016
 

LELO Siri 2 vibratorFINALLY. Fucking finally.

I’ve been waiting years for LELO to upgrade their humble little clit vibe, Siri. While they were off dilly-dallying with weird oral sex simulators and pretentious cock rings, I was over here drumming my fingernails on my desk, condescendingly clicking my tongue, wondering if the almost-great Siri would ever get an upgrade.

The sex toy landscape was different when I reviewed the original Siri back in 2010. Pickings were slim when it came to rechargeable clitoral vibrators, and I was less jaded. I liked the cute, egg-shaped Siri. It wasn’t terribly strong, but it was rumbly, and it was enough. “Is it the clit vibe to end all clit vibes?” I wrote. “Not quite — it would need to be waterproof and have more power.”

Siri is finally fulfilling the destiny I always envisioned for it. It is now waterproof and indeed, it is more powerful. But because this is LELO in 2016, there must be an added “feature” nobody asked for: sound sensitivity. Thanks, guys, for giving me something to bitch about! Wouldn’t be right to go an entire review without yelling about some dumb gimmick, eh?

Aside from that music mode (which I will properly address in a bit), Siri 2 is almost exactly what I hoped it would be. Within just a few uses, this vibrator earned its place in the top drawer of my desk, along with my three Monas and Pure Wand — the upper echelon of my sex toy collection. It truly is a versatile and stimulating little bugger.

But I was crotchety, at first. Siri’s buttons used to be effortless to press, and now they’re recessed and require a much more concerted effort. I’m an old person and I hate change, so I was disproportionately angry about this. But like that time Burger King replaced their chicken tenders with nuggets, time passed and I begrudgingly accepted my new reality. I just have to brace the toy against my hand to change settings. It’s not the worst.

At 4″ long, Siri 2 is small enough to nuzzle into my vulva, but not so tiny that it leaps out of my fingers. It’s perfect for some quick hand-down-the-pajama-pants action, but equally excellent for longer masturbation sessions.1 I tend to hold it sideways against my clit so it’s more pinpoint, but it can also be positioned straight on for more broad stimulation.

If you’ve come to distrust LELO’s claims that a second generation toy will be “100% more powerful,” I don’t blame you. But in this case, it’s thankfully true. Siri 2 has several strength settings beyond the original Siri’s, and its vibrations are stronger than almost all its competitors. Hell yes.

In addition to its power and the rumbly nature of its vibrations, Siri 2’s biggest asset is its wide range of intensity settings — a continuum, if you will, rather than a couple pre-programmed speeds. It also lasts an admirable 2 hours and 9 minutes on a charge on high, and it comes in glorious, glorious black. (And some other shades called “pink” and “purple” or something?)

Although Siri 2 is a couple notches weaker than LELO’s Mona 2, it’s basically a mini Mona. And you know how strongly I feel about my Mona: that vibrator excites me more than seeing “totchos” listed on a bar menu. Which is a lot.

So, when sex time is imminent and I must choose between Siri and Mona, it’s like picking Burger King or McDonald’s. They both satisfy the same need in roughly the same fashion, but there are reasons I might prefer one over the other — proximity, perhaps, or which sweet and sour sauce I’m craving, or whether I’m masturbating or having partnered sex. I’m more likely to use the classic and dependable Mona, but sometimes you’re just in the mood for onion rings, and that’s when I’d bust out Siri.

I swear, this is a high compliment.

But it’s not all sunshine and fast food. There are issues, like the Siri 2’s excessive price: $159. There are the reports of Siri 2s going berserk, and one strange instance of discolored buttons. There’s the fact that my first Siri 2 died after I tested it underwater, and my second wouldn’t hold a charge longer than a week. LELO have been champs about replacing them for me, and their toys come with 1-year warranties (and 10-year quality guarantees), but I still feel a little disenchanted.

Then… THEN… there’s the miserable music mode.

Like any red-blooded American, I like to listen to Taylor Swift very loudly all the time — whether I’m cleaning, driving, showering, or having a threesome. On one occasion, even that volume level was not enough to get the Siri 2 to vibrate to the music. It wasn’t until I blasted it to an uncomfortably loud level and held Siri close to my computer speakers that it responded. This was obviously incompatible with jacking off, so I grabbed my Oontz speaker, balanced it precariously on my keyboard tray, and played more Taylor off my iPod. I had to turn the volume all the way up — to the point of distortion — before Siri, which was literally inches away, would react.

I wanted to get off to “Welcome to New York,” but it was not to be.

It wasn’t always that bad. But even at its “best,” the music mode is glitchy and useless. There’s a pretty substantial delay between the music and Siri’s vibrations, enough of one that I question whether the toy is accurately reacting to the beat at all. When I turn off the music, sometimes the vibe stops, other times it keeps pulsing needlessly for several more seconds… so I can’t tell if it’s lagging behind on the music or if it thinks it hears shit in the silence or what the hell is going on.

In its music mode, Siri 2 seems to operate only in quick pulses, at its highest intensity, no matter which song you introduce (Siri’s reactions to Enya would make you think you were listening to “Last Friday Night”), and it doesn’t understand nuance — so any lull in the song will be registered as no vibration whatsoever. It’ll pulse to one measure of a song and then shut up for a subsequent, identical measure. When Joni Mitchell hits the high note “flyyyyy” in “River,” Siri doesn’t hold steady vibration — it pulses. When I sing or SCREAM into it, it fucking pulses. And I think we can all agree that when listening to “Scentless Apprentice” it shouldn’t ever stop vibrating, but it totally does. Whenever it feels like it.

LELO, listen: you are not OhMiBod. You did not pioneer vibrators that respond to music, that is not your life’s work, AND THAT’S OKAY. At least the OhMiBod Club Vibe responds immediately to sound, and the Freestyle G detects actual subtleties in the songs. I could never, ever achieve orgasm in Siri’s sporadic music mode, but with the Freestyle G I actually can, even with its subpar, buzzier vibrations.

Epiphora: i just got off w freestyle and porn
Epiphora: i put music on too so it would vibrate more consistently
Epiphora: however it did respond to fingers in pussy and that was awesome
Epiphora: siri, which apparently was still on, pulsed a single time when someone moaned loudly.
Aerie: siri: “did something happen? *bzzt*”
Epiphora: what an idiot
Aerie: my siri with music is like “uh do a thing? go? yes no? no? no. yes?”
Aerie: it’s like a clueless person who is trying to get down with all the latest technological gadgetry but their phone dings a text message and they’re like “WHAT’S THAT NOISE?!”
Epiphora: hahaha
Aerie: that’s what my grandma yelled out once when we started playing music one christmas
Aerie: poor grandma

The thing is, the Siri 2 does not need this gimmick. It’s a classic design, a relic from a simpler time when LELO released well-executed, effective toys. It can stand on its own vibrational merits, and it shouldn’t be squandered by a misguided attempt at innovation.

You can easily own the Siri 2 and forget its music mode even exists, and that is what I suggest you do. Siri is officially one of my favorite LELO toys, and far and away, it’s LELO’s best external-stimulation-only toy. Is it the clit vibe to end all clit vibes? Alas, still, not quite. It’s 75% there. But in the realm of palm-sized rechargeable vibrators, it’s closer than most of them have come.

Get the LELO Siri 2 at SheVibe, Babeland, Pleasure Chest, She Bop,
Come As You Are (Canada), Lovehoney (international), or directly from LELO.

  1. There is, however, the inevitable vibration in my hand, which can become annoying. []
  • WhisperALullaby

    So my we vibe touch just died a horrible death, ticking like a bomb on the way out…. Good replacement or just get another touch?

  • The eternal dilemma! The Touch is cheaper ($100) and much more pinpoint, with a one-button interface. Siri 2 is a bit stronger and has more settings, with a four-button interface that I prefer, but its stimulation is more broad. I would say if you’re accustomed to the smaller tip of the Touch, you should probably get it again. If not, might be worth considering the Siri.

  • Dandemort

    Hmm… LELO is so confusing to me these days. Yes, they are generally high quality, and their classics remain awesome, but their price point has become outrageous, especially with exchange, and especially considering there are brands like We-Vibe out there right now. In fact, I spoke to a shop owner and she said once their current stock of LELO sold out, she wouldn’t order anymore. It’s too much for something that is often being outclassed (especially ridiculous shit like the Ora). Once upon a time, you paid a premium for quality, but now the playing field is really expanding.

    That said, I’m glad they’ve updated a classic with extra strength, this is never a bad thing. When they take their classics and actually improve them, I find it admirable. As for the music gimmick…well… I don’t know what about Siri itself screamed “WE NEED TO ADD MUSIC VIBE!” It seems like an afterthought overall, rather than the central point of it, like with OMB.

  • AceDenise

    My Siri 2 has that discolored button thing too- weird. But other than that its been working fine. I just never even bother with music mode. It seems like Lelo HAS to include a stupid gimmick on all their toys just so they can justify charging a higher price for them- like the Lily 2 with a SCENT, or that ridiculous SenseTouch mode on their Smart Wands. At least the regular Loki is a winner without any dumb add-ons. I can verify, it feels exactly like the Mona 2 in power and settings, and is as great for the G-spot as I think it would be for butts/prostates. Literally the only differences between Loki and Mona 2 are the safety flare and the fact that Loki comes in black and blue. I love my Siri 2, it’s my favorite after the Tango and Eroscillator for external stimulation, but it’s way too expensive for what it is. I would rather buy the L’amourose Vera which is a similar shape for $99, than pay Lelo’s full price of $159 for the Siri 2. The Vera might even be rumblier, if their bigger vibes are any indication.

  • AceDenise

    I remember reading about voice coaches using the original Siri for vocal training for singers, or something? I don’t remember if it was only a claim made by Lelo themselves or some outside source. So of course, now Lelo thinks it needs a “musical” upgrade. Kind of reminds me of the Pino campaign that was aimed at (male) “bankers”. I would think that if Siri was really being used for that purpose, the new sound-responsive mode still wouldn’t be of any use to anyone. Any small, handheld vibrator with decently rumbly vibrations would likely work just as well for vocal training.

  • Mamba

    I have an original Siri that I stopped using when I got a MiMi Soft. That thing is, for me, much stronger and rumblier than the Siri that poor Siri got pushed to the back up spot. Except now the MiMi is dying, and if the Siri 2 has been improved that much is it worth getting that instead of replacing the MiMi that only lasted a year and a half?

  • Talia

    So, just let me get this clear: The Siri 2 is weaker than the Mona 2, but stronger than the Touch? I’ve never had or even held a Touch (or Tango) but I always thought – based on reviews – that it was the strongest of the ‘soft’ clit vibes available. But given that I’m NOT impressed by the Mona’s vibrations, I guess there’s no point in lusting after the Touch when it’s two steps less powerful than the Mona… 🙁

  • You may find others who disagree, but yes, that is how it seems to me. The Touch is impressively powerful for its size (and more powerful than most), but Siri beats it — and Mona beats Siri.

  • Maybe! However, the vibrations on the MiMi have that unique “fluttery” feel, and the MiMi Soft is, obviously, soft. Siri doesn’t feel like either of those things, so it depends on how much those sensations matter to you.

  • Scott Louise

    I Love this post, Adult toy is a most necessary thing for both men and women. I like to thankful my favourite store “Pleasure Playz” for making me more enjoyable with their latest toy.

  • SilentAJ

    While somewhat unnecessary, that mode seems to work well for vocal training, actually. I gave a friend a “vibe flight” of my collection and she loved that one most of the external toys. So I got her one for Christmas. On her own that mode was meh. In comes her large, super bass musician boyfriend who can make Siri go off the rails while he whispers sweet nothings to it during…other activities. He tried it for vocal exercises and apparently he appreciated the effect.
    So at least one anecdote backing the validity of the statement. Woo!

    As a general response, though – what ass backwards world is the a $160 toy? We sell them at work for the same price as the Mona, $140, which is still steep (I think $100-$120 is more realistic) but good gods Lelo, be consistent.

  • Kaitlin

    Question Epiphora… I lost both chargers to both of my Siri 1s… Any idea what type of charger it takes ? Local toy shop said each is unique to toy with Lelo.

    I obviously can’t bring it to Best Buy. They’ve been dead for months now. Should I suck it up and email customer service ? (I purchased via Amazon… Bc was poor college freshmen in 2011.)

  • Almost all of LELO’s toys take the same charger, but you definitely want to purchase a replacement on LELO’s website directly. You can choose between USB and 5V.

  • Rachael Uponen

    This sounds like a great vibe. And its poor music mode doesn’t matter, since I find music distracting when I’m getting busy, anyway.

  • Thanks P, my bought this for my girlfriend and she loves it! I think I’ll snoop on this site a little bit longer…

  • Evie

    I got the Siri 2 last weekend and am loving it, but I’ve noticed that it has a tendency to get really warm. Is this a flaw in my particular Siri 2 or something that is normal for the product? Thanks!

  • That’s not something I’ve noticed with mine… but I’m not sure!

  • Anon

    Do you like it better than the WeVibe Touch? In your review of the Touch, you preferred it over the original Siri, but how do you compare the Touch to the Siri 2? I’m not sure which one to buy. Also are the vibrations loud (both of them)? Which one would you recommend?

  • It’s a tough call because I like both of them. I originally preferred the We-Vibe Touch because it was stronger than the Siri, but now the Siri 2 is a bit more powerful than the Touch. It depends on what sort of stimulation you like (Siri 2 is more broad while the Touch is more pinpoint) and how you feel about the different button interfaces (single-button Touch, four-button Siri). Also, the Touch is a lot cheaper.