Everyone knows regulation in the sex toy industry is practically nonexistent, right? We all accept that as fact. We have to do all the material-sniffing and toy-burning for ourselves. We have to use condoms on things because we quite literally have no idea what they contain. Is this how things are destined to be forever? I used to think so, but not anymore.
Dildology is a brand new non-profit organization run by Dangerous Lilly, Crista Anne, and Val Orenda that will send sex toys to labs to have them independently tested. With this, there will finally be some accountability within the industry, and we’ll have a much better idea which manufacturers to trust — and which to side-eye.
Unfortunately, testing is not cheap. To the tune of $200-450 per toy. To remain unaffiliated and unbiased, Dildology won’t be able to sell advertising space, so they’re relying on donations.
I avoid sketchy sex toy materials like the plague, but that doesn’t stop them from being out there and tainting consumers constantly. Here’s what Crista experienced when she worked as a manager and buyer for a chain of adult stores in the south:
Battery testing thousands toys before they were sold, my hands and arms were constantly covered in mysterious rashes. The fumes off shipments of cheap toys gave me migraines. My customers would bring back toys they had just opened that had an intense odor, akin to opening a dozen shower curtains. Tell me horror stories of toys that caused a burning sensation when used, breakouts, battling chronic yeast infections from subpar toys and lubricants.
This is much more common than people realize, and it’s not going to stop unless we take the initiative. So, peeps, raise your
glass dollars and donate in memory of:
- Packaging that lies to our faces, calling things “high grade silicone” and “medical grade material” when they are not
- That time one of my old cock rings bled THROUGH A PLASTIC BAG and onto a Jimmyjane cord
- Having to crowdsource to figure out what a material even is
- All the times a reviewer has accepted as fact that sex toys stink, taste gross, and cause a burning sensation
- All the times a reviewer has called a material “silicone-feeling jelly”
- Companies making 100% silicone lines, with names like “Couture,” “Platinum,” and “Elite” — because who wants to use pure silicone all the time?
- Companies coming up with freakish names for mystery meat materials: Crystalessence, UR3, Jel-Lee, Superskin, Futurotic, Senso…
- Manufacturers who come out with two versions of the same toy just so they can sell a cheaper, smellier, porous one
- This story from the owner of the Smitten Kitten — “they were leaking, oozing… it reeked”
- The little finger sleeve I got at a sex toy party, which melted immediately when exposed to a flame
- The unsettling knowledge that the flame test can sometimes fail us
- When a reader emailed me with a horrific story of an allergic reaction to a toy and I had to gather tips on how to treat it
- The toy that smelled like “a really grimy, disgusting auto repair shop, where a guy with a mullet has been smoking too much weed out back” (I can still conjure the smell, it was so pungent, so horribly memorable)
Different donation amounts come with perks, such as discount codes, “Dildologist” merch, and the honor to choose the next test product.
Donate ahorita and read the other blog carnival posts here (there’ll be tons more as the month progresses). Donate because they’re testing the PVC Deen Peen next. And I can’t wait to find out what the fuck is in that thing.
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