Apr 262013
 

ALRIGHT PEOPLE. On Wednesday, I gave a sickeningly glowing endorsement to a $200 sex toy, and my reviewer’s guilt is setting in. No matter how epic a sex toy is, I always feel a little uneasy telling people to spend such large chunks of hard-earned money on them.

So I concocted an ingenious plan that both washes away my guilt and makes one of you very happy: give one of the motherfuckers away. SheVibe was happy to agree to my insane demands (and quickly, too, almost as if I was holding a gun to their heads), and so I offer to you, my peeps, a free $200 Stronic Eins thrusting sex toy in the color of your choice. Ahh, I feel better already.

Why is the Stronic Eins such an exciting thing? My review in a very small nutshell:

The Stronic Eins feels nothing like any sex toy I’ve ever touched or put in my vagina . . . there’ve been times I’ve been using traditional dildos and yearned for [it]. It’s just such a quick, fulfilling toy. It’s so lazy, and I LOVE IT . . . the Stronic Eins jostles my G-spot into oblivion with very little effort on my part. Quick, disgustingly effortless pleasure.

If that doesn’t make you want it, I mean, JUST LOOK AT IT GO:

stronic-eins-thrusting

Enter using the widget below. The usual social media entry options apply, but with one special addition: you can rack up 5 entries by making a video, GIF, or Vine of yourself using a household object to imitate the movement of the Stronic Eins.

This one’s open to the US and Canada. Giveaway ends on Monday, May 13th at 11:59 p.m. EST.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

  • LoriandHubby

    I’m intrigued to try something that moves. Thinking of it hitting against my g-spot.. ummm.. that could be dangerous.

    I messed up on my entries. i didn’t mean to click i uploaded a movie clip. so sorry.

  • http://twitter.com/mattieomega mattie omega

    I got to play with one at my local toy store, and one of the settings has a rumbly damped harmonic oscillator movement (Wiki it, you’ll know what I mean!) and I think it would feel AWESOME

  • http://aeriesroom.com/ Aerie

    So awesome! I signed into the wrong email address for Rafflecopter though. Any way I can fix that…?

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    I can delete the entries if there are any, then you should probably open a different browser or clear your cache to sign in with the correct address.

  • http://aeriesroom.com/ Aerie

    That would be fantastic! Please delete entries under the “nyankonami-at-gmail” address. Thank you!

  • http://twitter.com/darthbane2112 Matt Anderson

    I love contests – and I think my wife will be OK with me entering this one!

  • Brittany Zick

    when i saw the video i instantly wanted to see if it lived up to the hype…thrusting toys are usually so…bleh

  • Serena

    I am intrigued by the setting names. WTF? It still sounds epic though. Omg I want it ;_;

  • Shekeita M.

    I am intrigued by it allowing me to be completely lazy and just lay there. : )

  • Kate E Fiedler

    As soon as I read that review I said “honey, I need to save up $200″. He looked at the site I was on and said “you can probably pick up some extra hours at work for that” :)

  • heather bat

    honestly, piph, all i can do is just paw weakly at my screen while making sad little keening noises. i need this toy in my life so badly it isn’t even funny.

  • Tamara

    Oh my god, this is amazing! I hadn’t even read your entry yet but now I’m even more intrigued!

  • Damara Megido

    I want this so badly…I’ve never before been tempted by anything over 70$ or so, but this…THIS…
    I got to play with one at the Babeland in Seattle. My eyes went all huge and I couldn’t stop grinning with glee…

  • Jen

    This just looks like a really good time. I’m still searching for something that will make my g spot wake up!

  • RM

    I’m a thrusting fiend cause I don’t need no man to experience the full spectrum of vaginal possibilities!

  • http://twitter.com/psychopomposity Psychopomp

    I’m bizarrely fascinated by this toy. Even if I hate using it, I think I could happily turn it on and stare at it for hours, hypnotized.

  • Raven Quince

    Now THIS I want. I have a variety of vibrators, but they’re often just buzzy and annoying. This can take up residence in my vulva any time! But $200! That’s just sadistic.

  • Sam Eden

    I can honestly say I have never been so desperate to try any toy in my life before this!

  • http://twitter.com/SeptimusReviews SeptimusReviews

    I’ve been wanting one of these since I saw that video! It was very intriguing while also not really talking about the toy at all. (I just keep thinking about jack-hammers now)

  • http://twitter.com/genderblank Gender Blank

    Yes please!

  • Emily Rose

    I have recently been introduced to the world of g-spot stimulation, and so your glowing review of the Stronic Eins got me very interested! Vibrations don’t really do it for me, but this sounds fantastic. I would love to try it out. xx

  • leabee

    Hey, a contest for Canadians, yay! Really, there’s nothing about this thing that doesn’t look neat.

  • Trix

    Last weekend I was browsing around my semi-local sex emporium (20 minutes out of town) to visit the Vixskin dildos and send the “come home to me, Fluor-A-Green Mustang” mental vibes. The counter gal walked over to me, placed the Stronic Eins right in my hand, and stage-whispered “it’s like a handheld fucking machine!” The texture felt silky and good. The heft felt right. She pressed the “on” button, and the kaleidoscope of images that popped into my head made my brain break happily. I was flattered that she felt I had that kind of scratch to spend (hell, if she’d noticed the ancient T-shirt I was wearing, she’d know I did not). I saw your review and realized that I probably am the ideal candidate for this lovely beast (which looked HUGE in the shop, so it’s good to know that I could accommodate its girth), but figured that it was never to be. The contest gives me hope! (Even though I’m terrified of getting involved in social media, let alone SEXY social media, I’m actually tempted to make a video–that’s how appealing the Stronic Eins is to me!)

  • http://twitter.com/k_piet K. Piet

    Oh, man… When I’m not using this toy for the obvious vaginal and possibly anal delights it’s made for? With as many cats as I have, I might store it in an extra thick fabric casing and let it giggle, writhe, and jostle to freak out my cats during playtime? XD (Mostly joking. I don’t think I could justify putting such a lovely toy at risk. My cats can be vicious!

  • http://www.facebook.com/paradoxicalReaction Phoebe Miller

    Let’s be honest here: if I won this, I would IMMEDIATELY put it to use as a cat-bewildering device. Then a sex toy. I have priorities.

  • http://twitter.com/SilentAJ Obi Wench Kenobi

    With such a beast, I could finally drown my sorrows of my lost love, my sweet Form 2 which I managed to burn out entirely a few weeks ago. My life has been bleak and much less sticky – I really need a pick me up.

  • http://twitter.com/TMIwithPanda Panda Sauce

    I need the Stronic because, no matter how hard I try, PIV sex has been the only thing that has stimulated my g-spot enough to orgasm so far.

  • http://www.facebook.com/EveLark Eve Larkspur

    I waaaaannnnt it! Your reviews have never led me astray, and this sounds like exactly the sort of thing my G spot needs (not that I’m bored with my pure wand at all, but it never hurts to have other options). It’s going to be a long time before I can afford one of these, so it would be pretty cool to win one! Or maybe I can convince someone to give me one as a wedding present. This may be more important than that KitchenAid mixer…

  • HolyUdder

    I love grabbing anything you give a glowing review of, so this toy will be no different. But I can say it would be sure nice to save some scratch and win one.

  • http://www.grittywoman.co.uk/ Gritty Woman

    I need to own this bad boy. I think we all do. Even my boyfriend wants it although in his case it’s because it reminds him of a World Of Warcraft weapon. I can just see him running around the bedroom naked, wielding this baby like a samuri. Don’t worry Stronic Eins, I wont let the bad man near you.

  • LexiVon

    I’m interested in the Stronic Eins because it honestly doesn’t sound like anything I’ve ever put in, on , or around my vagina before. I’m kind of the adventurous type so… I’d basically really like to know if Stronic Eins > vibrator.

  • Emily

    I’ve been looking for a vibrator that’s not a piece of crap for a while, and I’d love to start here!

  • feminismandhappiness

    I saw the review and I loved it!

  • http://twitter.com/samstrident samarkand

    I almost feel bad to say it but it was the ‘lazy toy’ that really got me. right up my alley.

  • Andrew

    Anything that’s described as a brand new sensation’s always worth a look, even if I’m not the one who’ll ultimately get to enjoy it… :)

  • Frank

    I’m super intrigued and can’t wait to see this toy in person. From your description I’d have a ton of fun with it.

  • Ones

    looking forward to a Zwei giveaway as well maybe sometime in the future??

  • http://twitter.com/SugarCunt Sugarcunt

    I don’t need the Stronic for my vagina (that’s a lie), I need this baby to win vibrator races (that’s not a lie). COME ON, BABY, MAMA’S GOT MONEY RIDIN’ ON THIS!

  • Classified

    This…yes. I’m not even sure where to start. I really expected the review to be a flop, but since it seems to be quite magical, I’m just overly tempted. I’m not a thruster, per say, but perhaps this could change that (?)

  • http://elspethdemina.wordpress.com/ Lorax Of Sex

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- I want to put one of these in my butt SO BADLY. Of course, it’d be better if I used their butt one because flared bases and all that jazz, but d00d. Also dildo races. This is a sure winner.

  • http://twitter.com/StabbinRobots Stabbin Robots

    ERMAGERD. ER. MA. GERRRRRD.
    What intrigues me about the Stronic Eins is ERMAGERD PUT IT IN ME.
    Also, freaking out my pug, which I would totally make a video of and dedicate to you.
    Additional ERMAGERDS.

  • kateanon

    This looks like a seriously awesome toy, or a completely weird feeling. I’m not sure, but I feel like I need to try it out.

  • (FS) Navigator

    I just know I’m gonna be distracted at work all frickin day tomorrow figuring out how to make that video thing. Debating swiping some weird medical instrument from work to make it happen.

    I swear though, if I win this thing, I would probably stick it behind my neck when I’m at the computer in my recliner to use as a neck massager. After a thorough cleaning, of course.

  • Reenie

    Will the winner get a personally signed Stronic Eins?

  • Sarah P

    How cool! I was really excited after reading your review :)

  • Michael

    I’ve wanted to try this since Fun Factory released it back in the fall (is that right? Or did they just announce it then?) and I’m mesmerized with it in my hands. My boyfriend was like a kid when he saw it–I think most people are. I didn’t realize you could use it as an anal toy until I saw it on Fort Troff. I was thrilled to see such a positive review from you, Epiphora, and I would absolutely love to own this toy.

  • http://twitter.com/vulgarvag vulgarvag

    I was giving this an informal test run at work today and the thrusting settings are unreal. They feel like they would legitimately jackhammer my twat! I haven’t been this curious about a toy in a long time, so I know that I must experience it for real. Also the appeal of a toy doing all the work is perfect for someone as lazy as me.

  • Mary

    Must have this!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kate-Ex/100002305297652 Kate Ex

    DYING to get my hands on this… wow.

  • http://twitter.com/ImaGodiva Ima Godiva

    Awesome!

  • Brittany

    I really want to try this out. It’s just…different! I love to try new things, and this is definitely new.

  • Emma

    This toy is just … glorious. I am the laziest wanker ever because, to be honest, my wrists suck. The idea of a toy where I can just lie back, put my feet up on the wall, shove a pillow over my butt and have a great time? BASICALLY PERFECT. For real.

  • Christina

    Holy shit. this is really good for someone in a long distance relationship.

  • http://twitter.com/PosStyleBlog t.

    I was just thinking about such a thing for the Make a Moving Image part of the contest. ;3

  • http://twitter.com/PosStyleBlog t.

    Screw drinking coffee; this is what really woke me up this morning! ;)

  • Amy V

    A toy for lazy folks? YES PLEASE.

  • Megan

    Your reviews have yet to put me wrong, so I guess it’s time to start putting my pennies in a jar marked ‘Stronic’ heh.

  • RPC

    Momma has needs, that is all.

  • Angelique

    As much as I love my pure wand, it does take a little strength to wield. I have longed for a lazy toy, but a fuck machine is enormous and expensive. Not to mention I live with my parents and there is no place to hide such a thing. I really hope I win this so I never have to leave the house again!

  • Kizz

    It’s really the way it mimics thrusting that I’m intrigued by. Where “intrigued” means “turned on.”

  • D. Silent

    To be perfectly honest, I’d actually send this to my best friend. She has zero toys at the current time, and this would be the perfect way to kickstart her collection again.

  • http://twitter.com/maggiemunkee Slut Bunwallah

    me and my vagina need this. for reasons. vagina reasons.

  • http://twitter.com/5ucktacular Lindsay

    Oh my, I saw this beauty on one of my Adult Toy shop ganders and I have to say I jumped at the chance to put it on my wishlist! When it comes to love making I get much pleasure out of sheer deep hard thrusts! While I’ve yet to even own my first sex toy, this would definitely be on my “future buy” list when I get a job. ;) I definitely wouldn’t want it going off randomly, though. My cat is a bit of a bugger when it comes to playing with random things and I definitely don’t want to explain to anyone what the big thrusting object on the floor is, haha!
    Also, thank you so much for such a great contest!

  • Tequila Fish

    Yeah I need this kind of vibration in me, for sure (it sounds like it would be right up my alley!).

  • http://www.facebook.com/annabella.goh Annabella Goh

    this epitomises the song by the Dresden Dolls, “Coin Operated Boy”.

  • a

    Besides the obvious, I want one of these just to say that I do! People are already impressed when I tell them that I own a stainless steel dildo and a sparkly dildo, imagine the bragging rights for this.

  • Joyce C.

    What intriques me about it is the very uniqueness of it! I have never before seen anything like it much less experienced it!!! Hopefully I’ll get the chance!

  • shannon a. d.

    If there is one thing I want to win in my life it’s THIS. I have been waiting for a toy to do this for YEARS

  • Sloan Armstrong

    If I won this giveaway, I would probably cease all productive social function for at least 3 days.

  • WhisperALullaby

    It….moves. Intriguingly. I’m intrigued!

  • Alaina

    That GIF is just mesmerizing. It kind of looks like a sexy version of those little cordless any-angle hammer things I see commercials for, with guys hammering nails in upside down and sideways (except in this case the nail is my cervix I guess).

  • http://twitter.com/ScarletRoseFox Scarlet

    Honestly, I need this because I need something for when I am feeling kinda lazy. This, this will be the perfect toy for when I am not wanting to do all the crazy work that I sometimes have to go through. I can already feel it in mah bones.

  • simone

    OMG! I always wanted something like this as I love my rabbit but it needs the thrusting action! My husband is gone a lot so this would receive a lot of use. :) Not sure I would have the time to use it for other purposes as I can see it get a lot of use as is!

  • john

    when not in use it would reside in a a nice drawer where it would not be lonley

  • PennyPiquant

    This is on my ‘must have’ short list. WANT!

  • Peter

    I am EXCEPTIONALLY LUSTFUL towards this toy. Thrusting-type motion? Whisper quiet? Fun Factory (I don’t even hate their silicone, so this is nothing but a plus for me)? Hell yes.

  • olive

    I checked this out in a B&M store the other day and then come online to see that you’d reviewed it. I felt like it was a sign. I must own one and I hope that can happen without shelling out the $200, hah.

  • j

    This is a fascinating variation of vibrators and I think it deserves careful experimentation by recording my girl using every sort of toy we can find and comparing the results.

  • S

    You had me at lazy, I need this thing.

  • Panda

    I would undoubtably first use this toy to bug my boyfriend with it’s jutting motions before putting it to proper use. And perhaps leaving it under his pillow for a while would get him up in a more timely manner.

  • SourAppleMartini

    I’ve been single for a very long time, so a thrusting toy would bring some sort of illusion of real sex into my life.

  • Mariah

    Oh my. The review got me all excited, but that price tag was a sad, sad deal breaker. Y’know, gotta spend it all on un-fun things like food and electricity.

    Waaaant.

  • Teal

    I would love to do this, but one of my roommate’s cats ripped apart three menstrual cups last month in a spree of destruction. Silicone is his favorite texture for biting, turns out. I’m a grown-ish woman with an open-minded roommate and no shame, and yet I have to hide my sex toys from my fucking cats.

  • Pyra

    I’ve been wanting to try this thing so bad, but the expense! It’s downright painful.

  • kidwillow

    I have purchased a half dozen different products now after a hysterectomy in search of my G-spot… I haven’t found it but seem to have some success with my BF when he it w/o toys. I hope and wish to make this happen on my own as I just miss being able to cum COMPLETELY, without feeling something is off; missing (!). This looks promising :)

  • http://beckandherkinks.com/ Beck

    100% honest, I don’t want this toy for myself. I want it to help share the giveaway love.

  • Chastity Darling

    I need this! I have never met a thrusting toy and I need to own one… only I don’t have $200 to blow on a mechanically operating penis. Boo. I promise to review it myself??

  • Jo

    I have been wanting this since you first posted about it.

  • Jo

    I just happened to encounter one of these in the wild (of a local community sex toy store) and have to admit that sensation was unique as hell and I now crave to try it. I could understand the description of lazy orgasms and kind of wondering what my partner’s reaction to it would be…

  • Ess

    I’ve been a huge fan of Fun Factory products and I’m going to be honest, the cheaper vibrators just don’t compare :(

  • indiechick

    As a poor broke grad student it would be amazing to win a toy this nice. Let’s face it school and work don’t leave much time…Let’s get real NO time for the lovin’ of anyone…plus I would be able to put up an amazing review on Edenfantasys which would be great

  • brittany seydel

    i love fun factory…curious to see what the buzz is on this new toy!

  • Insane Hussein

    I would use this to confuse the demon bunneh. Bwahahaha!

  • http://twitter.com/buzzyngabe Raine

    I was going to say something about my 5 cats-but I see I’m not the only one with feline issues-lol, or would just like to see my cats look at me like I’m insane when they see it. yeah I’m a crazy cat girl I love them-except when they attack the blankets when I’m using a vibe-that seriously ruins the mood and can hurt-but they think it’s great. When I’m not loving using it, I’ll leave it on the bathroom counter with my anal probe and Eroscillator when I have company and watch they’re reaction after they use my bathroom when they don’t know how to act-it’s great fun-I’m easily amused.

  • http://twitter.com/LynzCatastrophe Lynz

    I work at an adult store and always take an opportunity to take it out of the box and show it off, I’ve already sold a few, i wish i could sell one to myself but I’m moving and broke, I need a gift for me!!!

  • JazzyJ

    I need a new vibe or I’m gonna kill somebody in frustration. Here’s to hoping!

  • http://ashrussell.com/ ash

    i am the laaaaaaaziest when it comes to penetrative toys so this super appeals to me

  • Fuckerymania

    I would love to get this for my wife

  • http://twitter.com/rivervetch River Vetch

    I have lots of vibrators, but I don’t have anything like the Stronic Eins. If I won this giveaway I would be so thrilled and I bet I’d have a great time using it. I’ve long lusted over Fun Factory’s products and frowned at their prices- I can’t afford that kind of luxury. When it’s not in me, I’ll probably be waving it around showing it off to my friends! They’re kind of used to seeing my sex toys already, but this would certainly be a step up from the usual.

  • jamilynb

    I need to win this because every few months I get the uncontrollable desire to add to my toy collection. Unfortunately, on a graduate student budget, it doesn’t allow me to get the ones I really, reeeeeally want! The stronic eins is pretty much the coolest toy I have ever seen, and I must have it!

  • Natty

    I want to know what this feels like and if that sensation could possibly match my wildest dreams…

  • Victoria

    Oooooh… I WANT.

  • G

    Everything about this intrigues me and it makes me want one so bad!!

  • http://twitter.com/marvydarling sarah

    As if I didn’t love you and SheVibe enough already, you have to go and make this giveaway. MY HEART IS ABOUT TO BURST.

    …also, if I win, I’m going to write about it in really intense detail. I might make some Vines, take some Instagrams, talk to people about it in social situations. All of the things I usually do when I encounter a really phenomenal sex toy.

    Actually, today, I used my Vixen Mustang as an anchor for a friendship bracelet. Too bad the Stronic doesn’t have a base.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/giveawaymama2 Amanda Marie Roach

    this is a very unique vibrator. would love to see how the thrusting is.

  • macho99

    I’d use it like a paintbrush to make the worlds first thrusting vibrator art! :D

  • Julia

    mmm looks like an interesting addition!

  • Joey

    I’m so stoked on this thing!!

  • Sam

    Ermagerd!

  • http://twitter.com/yes_p2v Cat

    I’m so curious, I’ll probably end up buying my own, but I’ve got to put my name in the hat!

  • jabberwockyx

    This is super exciting! A lot of vibes have been hit-or-miss for me, and I’m very picky about the /kinds/ of vibrations — so I’d be super interested in trying something like this out!

  • Rayne Millaray

    I’m such a geek, so of course my interest in this is purely technical. You believe me, right?

  • Donna

    I like the shape and movement. I really need this one. I have a bad habit of wearing my dildos out.
    Thanks for the chance to enter in this great giveaway.

  • Jo

    I have the exact (ish) same problem. My ferret has destroyed several toys already, most recently i came home to find he had somehow (?!?) managed to get a butt plug out of my sex toy drawer (which is the TOP drawer) and chew it to hell.
    Silicone calls him to him.

  • Powertoy Operator

    So, can this be used both safely and simultaneously with the Eroscillator?
    Enquiring minds want to know.

  • dv8

    I wonder if I could the Eins as a Shake Weight.

  • http://heyepiphora.com/ Epiphora

    Oh yes.

  • E. C.

    I’m not sure if this would be amazing or horrifying.

  • Happy Alien

    If I won this, I would be a very happy bunny. Actually, my boyfriend thinks i’m an alien, so i’d be a happy alien.

  • fire

    I’ve always wanted a toy awesome enough to just LEAVE LYING AROUND IN PLAIN SIGHT. THIS IS THAT TOY. It will be a great way to christen my new apartment. I will get special lighting for it and everything. Maybe even a special case. Then I can go gloat as my friends shop for toys in the local store while I look at ridiculous panties because I already have the BEST THING EVER.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ace.spade.505523 Ace Spade

    So excited about this toy in general, can’t believe your giving one away!! So curious as to what this toy feels like, and I bet it would be easier for me to use left handed than any of my other toys.

  • http://twitter.com/dudeiamironman Sara

    I want this. I want this bad and when I have it, I am going to go on an all-weekend hunt for the best way to stimulate my g-spot. I have always been more of a clit person but lately (read: today after my last shipment of dildos came in) I’ve come to realize just how amazing it is to have something thrusting against your g-spot, and what could possibly be better than that?

  • Fluffy

    OMG I WANT IT. I dunno what I’d do with it when not using it but I can definitely say that I’d use it >.>